Attitude of Gratitude

 

George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the United States on April 30, 1789. On October 3rd of that year, Washington issued the first Thanksgiving Day Proclamation, assigning Thursday November 26, 1789 as a day:

“To be devoted by the people of These States to the Service of the Great and Glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be.”

      231 years (to the day) later, we continued to celebrate this American holiday that allows people of all religions, and even those without religion, an opportunity to express gratitude- whether it be to G-d, fate, or luck, as well as to family and friends.

      On November 26, 1789 Gershon Mendes Seixas delivered a sermon in honor of the first Thanksgiving, at the request of his congregation, Shearith Israel (The Spanish Portuguese Synagogue): In 220 years it has not lost its relevance. I quote for you some of its contents:

      “It is necessary that we, each of us in our respective stations, behave in such a manner as to give strength and stability to the laws entered into by our representatives… to consider the burden imparted on those who are appointed to act in the executive department…. If to seek the peace and prosperity of the city wherein we dwell be a duty, even under bad governments, what must it be when we are situated under the best of constitutions?”

      We must show our gratitude by living as law abiding citizens, and by recognizing the tremendous efforts it takes to create and maintain our democratic country. Seixas continued:

      And lastly, it is incumbent on us as Jews in a more especial manner (seeing we are the chosen and peculiar treasure of G-d) to be more circumspect in our conduct, that as we are at this day living evidences of His Divine Power and Unity, so may we become striking examples to the nations of the earth hereafter as mentioned in Exodus “You shall be unto me a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation.”

      Thanksgiving Weekend/ Shabbat Vayeitzei remind us that gratitude is an attitude that needs to be cultivated. Some of the ways suggested by author Lauren Aaronson (Psychology Today) to cultivate gratitude is:

1)   Write a gratitude letter: a kind of belated thank you note to someone in your life. Studies show that such letters provide long-lasting mood boosts to the writer. Want to make the experience have even more impact? After writing the letter, go and read it to the person to whom you wish to thank.

2)   Keep a gratitude journal. Take a few minutes out of the day to jot down things that make you feel thankful, whether its generosity of friends, food on the table. Studies have shown that people who follow this routine for a few weeks feel better about them, have more energy and feel more alert.

3)   “Fake it until you make it”- even if you don’t feel like expressing gratitude, say thank you anyway. It may take some time, but soon enough your mind will fall in line with your words.

      Jews are called Yehudim, those who descend from Yehuda (named in this week’s Parsha) but also from the word “Todah”, for we must understand that essential to our Jewish identity is the attribute of gratitude. On this Thanksgiving Weekend/Shabbat Vayeitzei let us resolve to cultivate our sense of gratitude: whether towards G-d, our family and friends, or our country.

When Yitzchak grew old, his eyes weakened from seeing (27,1)

When Yitzchak grew old, his eyes weakened from seeing (27,1)

This verse sets the stage for the dramatic end of our Parsha: Yaakov “deceiving” Yitzchak and “stealing” the birthright blessings from Eisav. Rashi quotes from the Midrash three causes of Yitzchak’s blindness.

1) Because of the smoke of these [wives of Esav] (who would burn [incense] to the idols) (Tanchuma, Toledoth 8; Pesiktha Rabbathi 12)

2) Another explanation: When Isaac was bound on the altar, and his father was about to slaughter him, the heavens opened, and the ministering angels saw and wept, and their tears fell upon Isaac’s eyes. As a result, his eyes became dim (Gen. Rabbah 65:6)

3) A third explanation: to enable Jacob to take the blessings (Gen. Rabbah 65:8)

Each of these explanations help us understand something about Yitzchak’s character. They also help us understand why Yitzchak is best known for his attribute of Gevurah, strength.

If Yitzchak was blinded by the smoke created by the idolatry of Eisav’s wives, then that would mean that Yitzchak allowed Eisav and his family to remain part of his household, even as they were engaged in behavior of which Yitzchak disapproved. Contrast Yitzchak’s response to idolatry in the home with that of Avraham. Avraham’s father had an idol store, and Avraham felt compelled to destroy his father’s idols due to his awareness of One God. Yitzchak’s Gevurah, strength, is expressed in his ability to love Eisav and to tolerate his bad behavior. Instead of saying to Eisav “my house, my rules” or “if you don’t like my rules then get out”, the Midrash implies that Yitzchak was willing to “turn a blind eye” to idolatry in an attempt to keep Eisav part of the family and in the fold.

If Yitzchak looked up and saw into Heaven during the Akeida, then he may have acquired a heavenly perspective that he applied to life in this world. In Heaven, everything makes sense- even the Akeida. Those people that appear to be evil in this world, in Heaven they are understood to be part of the Divine Plan and therefore “good”. After perceiving this from Heaven, Yitzchak applied this perspective to his relationship with his son Eisav. Eisav was evil in many ways, yet Yitzchak was able to see the good in him, whether that good was latent or potential.

Lastly, if Hashem blinded Yitzchak in order to arrange that Yaakov receive the blessings, then the lesson for us is that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. We may not like it, and we may not understand it. But we should acknowledge that it all comes from Hashem. Such an attitude requires great humility, and great strength; the type of strength that we learn from our patriarch Yitzchak.

It emerges that Yitzchak’s blindness teaches us a lot about his strength of character, his love for his children and his faith in Hashem. 

 

The Legacy of Their Teachings

 

In Memory of Rabbi Dovid Feinstein z’l and Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l

    There is a Talmudic statement that I find meaningful:

אמר ר' יוחנן כל מקום שאתה מוצא גבורתו של הקב"ה אתה מוצא ענוותנותו

Wherever you find a reference in the Bible to the might of the Holy One, Blessed be He,

you also find a reference to His humility adjacent to it

     What this means is that if we want to emulate God, then we must realize that true greatness is only achieved when accompanied by humility. This also means that when one achieves greatness s/he must remain humble in the awareness that one’s accomplishments are gifts from Hashem and we pursue greatness not for purposes of self-aggrandizement, but rather to optimize our ability to serve our purpose on Earth.

     I am reminded of these lessons as the Jewish world mourns the losses this past week of Rav Dovid Feinstein z’l and Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks z’l. In my upcoming December bulletin message I will share some of the most inspiring stories that I have heard about these two men since their passings. In addition to their characters and their actions, it is their Torah - in both written and spoken form - that serves as their most enduring legacy for Klal Yisrael. This Shabbat, the Divrei Torah shared at the morning minyanim will be in tribute to these great Jewish leaders; as are my Dvar Torah and Dvar Tefilah. When the Jewish People lose great Torah personalities, it is incumbent upon all of us that remain to “step up our game” and grow with the help of the teachings that they leave for us.

 

Prayer as Conversation - and Conversation as Prayer
An Idea from Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks z’l

     The Talmud in Brachot teaches: Abraham instituted the morning prayer, as its says: And Abraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood, and ‘standing’ means prayer, as it says then Pinchas stood up and prayed. Isaac instituted the afternoon prayer, as it says, and Isaac went out to meditate in the field towards evening, and ‘meditation’ means prayer, as it says, a prayer of the afflicted when he faints and pours out his meditation before the Lord. Jacob instituted the evening prayer, as it says, and he encountered [vayifga] a place, and pegia means prayer as it says, therefore do not pray for this people nor lift up prayer or cry for them, nor make intercession [tifga] to Me.

     Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l explained this Talmudic passage as follows: Abraham ‘rises early in the morning’ and ‘stands.’ When it comes to prayer, he is the initiator. Acknowledging that he is “but dust and ashes” he nonetheless utters the most audacious prayer of all time: “Shall the judge of all the earth not do justice?” That is prayer as amidah.

     Jacob, by contrast, ‘encounters.’ It is not he who seeks G-d on his flight from home but G-d who seeks him. The phrase the Torah uses just before Jacob has his vision of the angelic ladder is vayifga ba-makom, which in rabbinic Hebrew could be read to mean, ‘He bumped into G-d.’ There are spiritual experiences we have when we are least expecting them – when we are alone, afraid, thinking of something else altogether. That was Jacob’s vision of prayer. Not everything in the life of the spirit is under our control. The great transformative experiences – love, a sudden sense of beauty, an upsurge of happiness – happen unpredictably and leave us, in Wordsworth’s famous phrase ‘surprised by joy.’ The glory of Jacob’s epiphany is that it happened at night, in the midst of fear and flight. That is prayer as pegiah.

     There is a third kind of prayer. Isaac is ‘meditating’ in the field – but the word sichah in modern Hebrew means not only meditation but also, and primarily, conversation. When the Talmud says, in the context of Isaac, ein sichah ela tefillah, we could translate this phrase as “conversation is a form of prayer” – and in a profound sense it is so. Prayer is a conversation (between heaven and earth). But conversation is also a prayer – for in true conversation, I open myself up to the reality of another person. I enter his or her world. I begin to see things from a perspective not my own. In the touch of two selves, both are changed.

 

(From: https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation-5768-chayei-sarah-isaac-and-prayer/)

Hachnosat Orchim: Hospitality in the Age of Corona

 

          At the beginning of Parshat Vayera we read how Avraham notices three men and immediately goes to invite them into his tent. Our Rabbis understand that Avraham interrupted his visit with God in order to tend to his guests. This led the Talmud to learn from this episode that (Shabbat 127a) “Hospitality toward guests is greater than receiving the Divine Presence.” This is learned from the fact that when Avraham invited his guests it is written:

וַיֹּאמַ֑ר אֲדֹנ-ָ֗י אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ אַל־נָ֥א תַעֲבֹ֖ר מֵעַ֥ל עַבְדֶּֽךָ

“And he said: Lord, if now I have found favor in Your sight, please pass not from Your servant.”

          According to this reading of the text, Avraham requested that Hashem, the Divine Presence, wait for him while he tended to his guests appropriately.  Rav Avraham Pam notes that the most impressive detail of Avraham’s hospitality is the mere fact that Avraham noticed these guests in the first place. We are often wrapped up in our own needs and our own challenges to the extent that we are unable to see anyone else’s needs. The mitzvah of Hachnosat Orchim reminds us that part of our own identity and our own wellbeing is tied to being sensitive to others and extending ourselves for others.

          Rav Soloveitchik is quoted as explaining that this episode was a test of Avraham’s righteousness. Hachnosat Orchim is an expression of Kavod Habriyot, human dignity. By interrupting his personal religious experience to attend to others, Avraham proved his worthiness to be the patriarch of Hashem’s Chosen People. Rav Soloveitchik also explained that Hachnosat Orchim is one of the ways that we walk in God’s ways. We must be hospitable just as Hashem is hospitable. Rav Soloveitchik explained: The Almighty is the great Machnis Orchim. His hospitality made it possible for humanity to exist, for the world to come into being. “To be” means to share the infinite being of the Almighty. The Almighty, like Abraham, invites people to partake of His boundless existence.

          The Hachnasat Orchim of Avraham was performed for strangers who had no other source of food, water or lodging. Hosting guests who have nowhere else to go is following in Avraham’s path. However Jewish tradition also recognizes the value and the power of hosting friends, neighbors and acquaintances as expressions of Hachnasat Orchim. These people may have somewhere else to eat, they may have plenty of food in their pantry and refrigerator. Nonetheless, acts of hospitality towards friends and neighbors strengthen relationships, build community, and foster an atmosphere of chesed and caring.

          The current CoVID circumstances challenge our ability to fulfill the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim. Sharing a meal indoors with non-immediate family members is a higher risk activity. As we are stymied in our ability to host people in the usual and accepted ways- ie for a Shabbat meal or other indoor activity- let us consider new and creative ways to fulfill both the letter and the spirit of Hachnasat Orchim. Here are a few ideas that come to mind:

1)       Call a friend or neighbor before Shabbat to wish them a Shabbat Shalom. Tell them that you’re calling them because you were thinking about them and you wish you could host them for a Shabbat meal, and you look forward to doing so when it is safe to do so. Another option is to deliver flowers or dessert with the same sentiment. Cooking a dish or meal for someone and delivering it to them for Shabbat can be an incredibly meaningful act.

2)       Meeting people outdoors without food is a lower risk activity. You can invite a person or family to your backyard and instead of serving a meal, offer a Dvar Torah or some conversation or words of encouragement (along with a drink or light refreshments).

          These are just a few suggestions. There are many innovative and creative ways that we can act Divinely by engaging in the mitzvah of Hachnast Orchim.