Sticking Together is Our Sure Bet

Five years ago I met with Amir Tibone, who was a correspondent for Haaretz newspaper at that time stationed in Washington DC.  Amir was working on a story for the Haaretz Hebrew Edition about the 2018 midterm elections. He had been a speaker for AIPAC, and AIPAC’s Florida office gave him my name. In our conversation we agreed that synagogues- especially diverse Modern Orthodox synagogues like ours – are one of the last places that people congregate with others with whom they strongly disagree on issues,  especially political issues.  We put aside our differences at shul because of the common values that we hold dear, including kehilla. Tzibur, Beit Knesset.

Amir told me how one time he and his wife were invited by neighbors for dinner. They were talking about Israeli politics and he casually mentioned that he has friends on the other end of the political spectrum. His American neighbors had a hard time believing that people with differing opinions on important issues could be friends.

I suggested that this is the case in Israel because you can still finds Israelis with an array of diverse positions: like those who are conservative when it comes to Israeli security but liberal when it comes to social issues.

Amir agreed, but he also suggested that it goes back to Israel’s mandatory army service. In Israel, you might disagree strongly with a position and with a politician’s platform. And just when you’re about to flip your lid you remember your friend from the army, with whom you served side by side. You remember that your friend holds those views with which you firmly disagree. But you can no longer disparage those views because you know someone, a good guy/ gal, who subscribes to the same view. You are no more convinced of that opposing view. But once you remember your army buddy you can no longer completely disregard those views.

While it may still hold true to some extent, I fear that Israeli partisanship has dramatically increased in the ensuing years. Politics have become increasingly polarizing. People can live their whole lives in an echo chamber, never hearing from people with differing views and never even spending time with people with whom they disagree. In this environment it’s easy to demonize positions because they are not associated with actual human beings. When we get to know people on a personal level we often realize that they are not so different than we are. We might realize that they are thoughtful people. They want what’s best; it’s just that their ideal outcomes look different than ours.

Only when we stick together are we in a position to know each other well enough to listen, even when we disagree. The Baal HaTurim teaches that this lesson is hinted at in this morning’s Parsha: (10:22)

בְּשִׁבְעִ֣ים נֶ֔פֶשׁ יָֽרְד֥וּ אֲבֹתֶ֖יךָ מִצְרָ֑יְמָה וְעַתָּ֗ה שָֽׂמְךָ֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ כְּכֽוֹכְבֵ֥י הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם לָרֹֽב:

“With seventy souls, Your forefathers descended to Egypt, and now the Lord, your God, has made you as the stars of heaven in abundance.”

In his careful reading of the pasuk, the Baal HaTurim notes that that this Pasuk begins and ends with the letter Bet

. הפסוק מתחיל ומסיים בבי"ת, לומר שיעקב הזהירם שידבקו איש בביתו ולא יתערבו במצרים, ולכך נקראו בית יעקב

Yaakov taught the lesson and Moshe is reinforcing it. For the Jews to survive through it all- we need to stay close to our Bet/ Bayit (home): we need to stick together. Even when we disagree.

One of the features of Egyptian slavery was that it sowed discord among the Jews. Oppression has that effect. Moshe reminds Bnai Yisrael that the only way they made it through Egypt- the only way that they can survive exile and oppression- is if they stick to their Bayit, and stick together.

It’s no coincidence that this lesson is learned from a pasuk that describes Jews as stars. We are supposed to be a light onto the nations. The only way we can effectively do so is when stick together, despite our differences. It has been the secret sauce of the Jewish People, Beit Yaakov, and we must not forget this secret sauce today in our own times and in our own Beit Knesset.

Mighty in Impact, Not in Numbers

Rabbi Berel Wein tells a story that he and his wife once took a trip to Norway to tour the fjords. The tour was not a kosher one, but there happened to be a sizable contingent of Israelis who made Rabbi Wein their resident Rabbi (Rabbi Wein notes that in Israel many of those same Israelis would probably have had nothing to do with any rabbi). In addition to the Weins and the Israelis there was a group Americans from a retirement community near San Diego. At one of the rest stops one of the members of this (non Jewish) group turned to Rabbi Wein and said, “Rabbi, we do not mean to annoy you, but could you please tell us how many Jews there are in the United States of America?” As Rabbi Wein contemplated how to answer the question, the man continued, “There must be fifty or sixty million, right?” Concluding the story Rabbi Wein writes:

For the first time I had an insight as to how many non-Jews living in the United States perceive the presence in culture, entertainment, politics, finance, sports and every facet of American life. They cannot believe that all of this constant noise comes from barely four or five million Jews in a country of 350 million people. So I merely deflected the question, saying that I did not know any exact figures but that we are a distinct minority. I added that we appreciate the opportunities that the United States had granted the Jews……

In Parshat Vaetchanan, Moshe reminds Bnai Yisrael of their special status (7:6-7):

 “For you are a holy people to Hashem; He has chosen you to be for Him a treasured nation above all the peoples on the face of the Earth.”

לֹ֣א מֵֽרֻבְּכֶ֞ם מִכָּל־הָֽעַמִּ֗ים חָשַׁ֧ק ה בָּכֶ֖ם וַיִּבְחַ֣ר בָּכֶ֑ם כִּֽי־אַתֶּ֥ם הַמְעַ֖ט מִכָּל־הָֽעַמִּֽים

Not because you are the most numerous nation did Hashem choose you, for you are the fewest of all the nations.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explains that Hashem’s choice of a nation few in number is God’s way of teaching the lesson that one need not be numerous in order to be great. Nations are not judged by their size but by their contributions to civilization. Our focus should not be on numbers but the power and potential impact that each individual possesses to transform the world for the better.

Social psychologist Serge Moscovici studied a phenomenon that he called “minority influence.” Generally the majority influences minorities. But sometimes the reverse happens. For instance, the suffragette movement in early 20th century America is an example of minority influence ultimately leading to the right to vote for women. After conducting numerous studies Moscovici identified a number of factors that led to successful minority influence. Among those factors were:

1.            Consistency: the opinion being expressed by the minority must remain consistent

2.            Confidence in the correctness of the ideas being presented by the minority

3.            The minority must appear to remain unbiased, ie a willingness to hear out the other side of the argument

4.            Resisting social pressure to change

The Jewish People live this lesson and remind the world of the potential of minority influence. This is a lesson that we must never forget: as a nation and as individuals.

Rabbi Moshe Amiel notes that in kosher laws we have a concept of Bitul B’rov- that if a small amount of non-kosher falls into a much larger pot of kosher food- the non-kosher may be nullified, and we say majority rules. So, why in fact do we not assume that the majority of public opinion, the majority world religion, the majority ethos of morality, in fact rules? Rav Amiel answered that in Halacha we also have the concept of a davar hamaamid. If an ingredient has a presence in the finished dish, even if it is only a minute amount and by right should be nullified- It cannot be nullified and the entire dish continues to be impacted by that ingredient. Jews have always been a minority. Jewish values are powerful and is meant to be detected across all of humanity. Jews are supposed to be mighty in impact, not in numbers.

Be a Light – But Not Too Flashy

My maternal grandfather was born in Sprendlingen, Germany and immigrated to the United States in the early 1930’s. His parents and younger brother were still in Germany during Kristallnacht. I remember hearing from my Opa and his brothers on more than one occasion that Jews in the Diaspora should be mindful about exhibiting our wealth when we find financial success. Being flashy or ostentatious is bound to raise the eyebrows and the ire of our non-Jewish neighbors which can only bring about problems, if not worse. I am sure that this family sentiment was influenced by the Goldschmidt family’s personal experience of living for centuries in the same house in a small German town only to one day wake up to a drastically changed environment, one from which they ultimately were lucky enough to flee.

However this Jewish sentiment predates my grandfather, who was born in 1915. Rabbi Meir Simcha of Dvinsk lived during the second half of the 19^th century. In his commentary on Chumash, Meshech Chochma, he writes (Parshat Bechukotai) that there is a trend that one can trace throughout the two thousand year history of the Jews in the Diaspora. Jews will settle in a location for a century or two, during which they become successful. This success enables those Jews to assimilate into the majority host culture and forget the precarious nature of exile. Just when this assimilation appears to threaten the continuity of Judaism and the Jewish People (ie “when Jews think that Berlin is Jerusalem” in the words of the Meshech Chochma), their fortunes would abruptly turn worse and they would be persecuted and forced to find a new place to live. Rav Meir Simcha points out that while this sounds like a curse, the bright side is that the ongoing relocation of the Jews has ensured the continuity of the Jewish People and the perpetuation of Torah values and observance. For every time Jews are expelled from a host country we “circle our wagons” and strengthen our Jewish identity and bonds to the Jewish community, the only resource upon which we can reliably rely.

The idea that ostentatiousness can be dangerous for the Jewish People even predates the Meshech Chochma. Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim Luntschitz lived in Prague at the beginning of the 17^th century. In his commentary to Chumash, Kli Yakar, he suggests a homiletical interpretation to the verse in Parshat Devarim (2:3): רַב־לָכֶ֕ם סֹ֖ב אֶת־הָהָ֣ר הַזֶּ֑ה פְּנ֥וּ לָכֶ֖ם צָפֹֽנָה: “You have circled this mountain long enough; turn Tzafona, northward.” Here Moshe is describing the Jews’ travels after leaving Egypt. Kli Yakar quotes a tradition that this is also advice for any time the Jews are in exile. Tzafon means north, but it also means “hidden” or discreet, like the step at the seder called Tzafun ie when the hidden piece of matzah is brought back to the table. The Kli Yakar explains that the Torah here is hinting that when Jews are in exile we should be inclined towards discretion. As Kli Yakar puts it, whenever Jews finds success, “Eisav”, ie the non-Jews, get jealous because Yaakov stole the blessings of success from his brother. It is therefore prudent to be careful when celebrating our success and try to downplay it when possible.

Many feel that the Jewish experience in America is fundamentally different than all other past exile locations and that it does not follow the patterns or rules of other exilic hosts. If America is different, the argument goes, then the advice to be discreet is not relevant for American Jews. While Jews in America have been blessed in unique and unprecedented ways, it is still prudent advice not to be ostentatious and to value discretion. The prophet encourages us to walk modestly with Hashem, which implies that modesty is a value that Hashem appreciates. Perhaps the challenge for 21^st century American Jews is to find the appropriate balance between the attention seeking necessary to be a light onto the nations, tempered with an appreciation for the lesson of modesty and discretion that have been taught and lived by Jews throughout the ages.  

If You’re Going To Ignore, At Least Don’t Replace

On the Aish Hatorah website, there is a testimonial quote from famous producer/ director Steven Spielberg:

"Thank you Aish HaTorah for the good work you do, and the message you put out. I could have used you in my life about 25 years ago."

 

It has been suggested that Spielberg is referring to his first marriage to Amy Irving, who was not Jewish. That marriage only lasted for a short period of time and is best known for its dissolution, famous for being contentious and considered one of the “most expensive Hollywood divorces in history.”

I was intrigued by Spielberg’s statement because it implies that although Spielberg might not be interested in engaging in further Jewish study or observance, he recognizes the value contained therein. He is self-aware enough to realize that something may be missing in his life, and Jewish wisdom and practice could potentially address that which he feels is missing.  Why he does not pursue those goals can be for any number of reasons that we all have given as excuses for why we don’t take risks or try something knew, or engage in something difficult. But at least the realization remains that something is missing, waiting for the day that Spielberg, or any one of us, is willing to give it a try.

 

I am reminded of this story due to a pasuk in this week’s Haftorah: the second of the Three Haftarot of Doom, another selection from Jeremiah:

כִּי שְׁתַּיִם רָעוֹת עָשָׂה עַמִּי אֹתִי עָזְבוּ מְקוֹר | מַיִם חַיִּים לַחְצֹב לָהֶם בֹּארוֹת בֹּארֹת נִשְׁבָּרִים אֲשֶׁר לֹא יָכִלוּ הַמָּיִם:

“For My people have committed two evils; they have forsaken Me, the spring of living waters, to dig for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that do not hold water.”

 

The prophet speaks of two evils perpetrated by the nation at that time: One is ignoring God. This is a mistake that has afflicted mankind, and Jews in particular, since the beginning of time. We look for God during the tough times, but ignore Him when the going is good and at other important junctures in life. Alternatively we ignore God when Hashem makes demands that we find onerous or challenging or outdated.

 

But I believe that the Jews’ fate was sealed when Jeremiah pointed out the second evil: replacing Hashem with “broken cisterns”. It’s one thing to give into temptation or laziness or the spirit of the times and ignore Hashem. That’s bad but understandable; after all, we are human. What is worse, and according to Jeremiah inexcusable, is when we replace Hashem, spirituality and the search for transcendence with replacements that may seem easy/ fun/ pleasurable but will ultimately be proven to be empty cisterns if there is no God in the picture.

 

As we observe the intensified mourning of the Nine Days, let us think about the lesson of Jeremiah: Let us be on guard against ignoring God. But even if we do, let us make sure to never replace God with something shiny yet fleeting and ultimately worthless.

Message of the Mussaf

As technology and society has progressed in the 21^st century there seems to be an ever growing sense that every situation and every moment can be replicated, recreated or made up for.  First it was the introduction of Dolly the cloned sheep. This technology opened up a new niche market: cloning your pets. The idea behind cloning is that biological material can be replicated. A few years ago, scientists claimed that with the help of a state of the art particle accelerator they were able to replicate the moment immediately after the Big Bang. If that very early moment of the universe’s existence can be recreated, then presumably everything else can be replicated as well. Science has taken us on a journey that indicates that no moment is so unique that it cannot be replicated in a laboratory.

This attitude has spilled over into society and popular culture. Miss a test or forget to do your homework? Don’t worry, there will be a makeup. Lost sleep last night? Don’t worry, you can always make it up. Deadlines are constantly being extended because people just cannot fathom that something can actually pass by without being made up later.                 

A rejection of this attitude can be found in the Torah’s description of the special Musaf sacrifice offered on Shabbat. The Torah tells us:

Olat Shabbat B’Shabbato:

The Sacrifice of each Shabbat must be offered on that Shabbat. The Midrash explains that I might have thought that all Shabbatot are the same. If I miss bringing the sacrifice this week, then I’ll just bring two next week. Comes the verse to tell us Olat Shabbat BeShabbato- there are no makeups. As the Siftei Chachamim explains, every Shabbat is a unique gift. It may seem like we are doing the same things each week, but in fact any given Shabbat can never be replicated. Although we no longer offer sacrifices today, this Midrashic idea finds expression in the halachot of the Mussaf prayer that we recite every Shabbat. The Halacha is that if you miss one of the prayer services, you can make it up by saying two Amidas the next time (ie if you miss Shacharit, you can say two Minchas, etc). This is called Tashlumin, based on the concept that existed by certain korbanot. However, the Halacha is that there is no Tashlumin for Mussaf. Once Shabbat ends, there is no makeup. Not Sunday, not the next Shabbat. I missed out and I have to live with that fact.

Judaism believes strongly in second chances: for instance, the example of teshuva. But the Korban Mussaf in this morning’s Parsha reminds us that contrary to the belief of some, there are things in life that cannot be replicated, cannot be made up, and if you miss them you’re out of luck. This is especially true with the moments of our lives. Time can never be made up (even for drivers who speed the last half of their trip to make better time.) We can’t go back in time. (alas, we have yet to discover the flux capacitor that enables time travel at  1.21 gigawatts). Each moment is unique, each Shabbat is unique.  Let us recall the message of the Mussaf: some things in life cannot be replicated; they must be appreciated and savored while we have the opportunity.