Attitude of Gratitude

 

George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the United States on April 30, 1789. On October 3rd of that year, Washington issued the first Thanksgiving Day Proclamation, assigning Thursday November 26, 1789 as a day:

“To be devoted by the people of These States to the Service of the Great and Glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be.”

      231 years (to the day) later, we continued to celebrate this American holiday that allows people of all religions, and even those without religion, an opportunity to express gratitude- whether it be to G-d, fate, or luck, as well as to family and friends.

      On November 26, 1789 Gershon Mendes Seixas delivered a sermon in honor of the first Thanksgiving, at the request of his congregation, Shearith Israel (The Spanish Portuguese Synagogue): In 220 years it has not lost its relevance. I quote for you some of its contents:

      “It is necessary that we, each of us in our respective stations, behave in such a manner as to give strength and stability to the laws entered into by our representatives… to consider the burden imparted on those who are appointed to act in the executive department…. If to seek the peace and prosperity of the city wherein we dwell be a duty, even under bad governments, what must it be when we are situated under the best of constitutions?”

      We must show our gratitude by living as law abiding citizens, and by recognizing the tremendous efforts it takes to create and maintain our democratic country. Seixas continued:

      And lastly, it is incumbent on us as Jews in a more especial manner (seeing we are the chosen and peculiar treasure of G-d) to be more circumspect in our conduct, that as we are at this day living evidences of His Divine Power and Unity, so may we become striking examples to the nations of the earth hereafter as mentioned in Exodus “You shall be unto me a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation.”

      Thanksgiving Weekend/ Shabbat Vayeitzei remind us that gratitude is an attitude that needs to be cultivated. Some of the ways suggested by author Lauren Aaronson (Psychology Today) to cultivate gratitude is:

1)   Write a gratitude letter: a kind of belated thank you note to someone in your life. Studies show that such letters provide long-lasting mood boosts to the writer. Want to make the experience have even more impact? After writing the letter, go and read it to the person to whom you wish to thank.

2)   Keep a gratitude journal. Take a few minutes out of the day to jot down things that make you feel thankful, whether its generosity of friends, food on the table. Studies have shown that people who follow this routine for a few weeks feel better about them, have more energy and feel more alert.

3)   “Fake it until you make it”- even if you don’t feel like expressing gratitude, say thank you anyway. It may take some time, but soon enough your mind will fall in line with your words.

      Jews are called Yehudim, those who descend from Yehuda (named in this week’s Parsha) but also from the word “Todah”, for we must understand that essential to our Jewish identity is the attribute of gratitude. On this Thanksgiving Weekend/Shabbat Vayeitzei let us resolve to cultivate our sense of gratitude: whether towards G-d, our family and friends, or our country.

When Yitzchak grew old, his eyes weakened from seeing (27,1)

When Yitzchak grew old, his eyes weakened from seeing (27,1)

This verse sets the stage for the dramatic end of our Parsha: Yaakov “deceiving” Yitzchak and “stealing” the birthright blessings from Eisav. Rashi quotes from the Midrash three causes of Yitzchak’s blindness.

1) Because of the smoke of these [wives of Esav] (who would burn [incense] to the idols) (Tanchuma, Toledoth 8; Pesiktha Rabbathi 12)

2) Another explanation: When Isaac was bound on the altar, and his father was about to slaughter him, the heavens opened, and the ministering angels saw and wept, and their tears fell upon Isaac’s eyes. As a result, his eyes became dim (Gen. Rabbah 65:6)

3) A third explanation: to enable Jacob to take the blessings (Gen. Rabbah 65:8)

Each of these explanations help us understand something about Yitzchak’s character. They also help us understand why Yitzchak is best known for his attribute of Gevurah, strength.

If Yitzchak was blinded by the smoke created by the idolatry of Eisav’s wives, then that would mean that Yitzchak allowed Eisav and his family to remain part of his household, even as they were engaged in behavior of which Yitzchak disapproved. Contrast Yitzchak’s response to idolatry in the home with that of Avraham. Avraham’s father had an idol store, and Avraham felt compelled to destroy his father’s idols due to his awareness of One God. Yitzchak’s Gevurah, strength, is expressed in his ability to love Eisav and to tolerate his bad behavior. Instead of saying to Eisav “my house, my rules” or “if you don’t like my rules then get out”, the Midrash implies that Yitzchak was willing to “turn a blind eye” to idolatry in an attempt to keep Eisav part of the family and in the fold.

If Yitzchak looked up and saw into Heaven during the Akeida, then he may have acquired a heavenly perspective that he applied to life in this world. In Heaven, everything makes sense- even the Akeida. Those people that appear to be evil in this world, in Heaven they are understood to be part of the Divine Plan and therefore “good”. After perceiving this from Heaven, Yitzchak applied this perspective to his relationship with his son Eisav. Eisav was evil in many ways, yet Yitzchak was able to see the good in him, whether that good was latent or potential.

Lastly, if Hashem blinded Yitzchak in order to arrange that Yaakov receive the blessings, then the lesson for us is that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. We may not like it, and we may not understand it. But we should acknowledge that it all comes from Hashem. Such an attitude requires great humility, and great strength; the type of strength that we learn from our patriarch Yitzchak.

It emerges that Yitzchak’s blindness teaches us a lot about his strength of character, his love for his children and his faith in Hashem. 

 

The Legacy of Their Teachings

 

In Memory of Rabbi Dovid Feinstein z’l and Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l

    There is a Talmudic statement that I find meaningful:

אמר ר' יוחנן כל מקום שאתה מוצא גבורתו של הקב"ה אתה מוצא ענוותנותו

Wherever you find a reference in the Bible to the might of the Holy One, Blessed be He,

you also find a reference to His humility adjacent to it

     What this means is that if we want to emulate God, then we must realize that true greatness is only achieved when accompanied by humility. This also means that when one achieves greatness s/he must remain humble in the awareness that one’s accomplishments are gifts from Hashem and we pursue greatness not for purposes of self-aggrandizement, but rather to optimize our ability to serve our purpose on Earth.

     I am reminded of these lessons as the Jewish world mourns the losses this past week of Rav Dovid Feinstein z’l and Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks z’l. In my upcoming December bulletin message I will share some of the most inspiring stories that I have heard about these two men since their passings. In addition to their characters and their actions, it is their Torah - in both written and spoken form - that serves as their most enduring legacy for Klal Yisrael. This Shabbat, the Divrei Torah shared at the morning minyanim will be in tribute to these great Jewish leaders; as are my Dvar Torah and Dvar Tefilah. When the Jewish People lose great Torah personalities, it is incumbent upon all of us that remain to “step up our game” and grow with the help of the teachings that they leave for us.

 

Prayer as Conversation - and Conversation as Prayer
An Idea from Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks z’l

     The Talmud in Brachot teaches: Abraham instituted the morning prayer, as its says: And Abraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood, and ‘standing’ means prayer, as it says then Pinchas stood up and prayed. Isaac instituted the afternoon prayer, as it says, and Isaac went out to meditate in the field towards evening, and ‘meditation’ means prayer, as it says, a prayer of the afflicted when he faints and pours out his meditation before the Lord. Jacob instituted the evening prayer, as it says, and he encountered [vayifga] a place, and pegia means prayer as it says, therefore do not pray for this people nor lift up prayer or cry for them, nor make intercession [tifga] to Me.

     Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l explained this Talmudic passage as follows: Abraham ‘rises early in the morning’ and ‘stands.’ When it comes to prayer, he is the initiator. Acknowledging that he is “but dust and ashes” he nonetheless utters the most audacious prayer of all time: “Shall the judge of all the earth not do justice?” That is prayer as amidah.

     Jacob, by contrast, ‘encounters.’ It is not he who seeks G-d on his flight from home but G-d who seeks him. The phrase the Torah uses just before Jacob has his vision of the angelic ladder is vayifga ba-makom, which in rabbinic Hebrew could be read to mean, ‘He bumped into G-d.’ There are spiritual experiences we have when we are least expecting them – when we are alone, afraid, thinking of something else altogether. That was Jacob’s vision of prayer. Not everything in the life of the spirit is under our control. The great transformative experiences – love, a sudden sense of beauty, an upsurge of happiness – happen unpredictably and leave us, in Wordsworth’s famous phrase ‘surprised by joy.’ The glory of Jacob’s epiphany is that it happened at night, in the midst of fear and flight. That is prayer as pegiah.

     There is a third kind of prayer. Isaac is ‘meditating’ in the field – but the word sichah in modern Hebrew means not only meditation but also, and primarily, conversation. When the Talmud says, in the context of Isaac, ein sichah ela tefillah, we could translate this phrase as “conversation is a form of prayer” – and in a profound sense it is so. Prayer is a conversation (between heaven and earth). But conversation is also a prayer – for in true conversation, I open myself up to the reality of another person. I enter his or her world. I begin to see things from a perspective not my own. In the touch of two selves, both are changed.

 

(From: https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation-5768-chayei-sarah-isaac-and-prayer/)

Hachnosat Orchim: Hospitality in the Age of Corona

 

          At the beginning of Parshat Vayera we read how Avraham notices three men and immediately goes to invite them into his tent. Our Rabbis understand that Avraham interrupted his visit with God in order to tend to his guests. This led the Talmud to learn from this episode that (Shabbat 127a) “Hospitality toward guests is greater than receiving the Divine Presence.” This is learned from the fact that when Avraham invited his guests it is written:

וַיֹּאמַ֑ר אֲדֹנ-ָ֗י אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ אַל־נָ֥א תַעֲבֹ֖ר מֵעַ֥ל עַבְדֶּֽךָ

“And he said: Lord, if now I have found favor in Your sight, please pass not from Your servant.”

          According to this reading of the text, Avraham requested that Hashem, the Divine Presence, wait for him while he tended to his guests appropriately.  Rav Avraham Pam notes that the most impressive detail of Avraham’s hospitality is the mere fact that Avraham noticed these guests in the first place. We are often wrapped up in our own needs and our own challenges to the extent that we are unable to see anyone else’s needs. The mitzvah of Hachnosat Orchim reminds us that part of our own identity and our own wellbeing is tied to being sensitive to others and extending ourselves for others.

          Rav Soloveitchik is quoted as explaining that this episode was a test of Avraham’s righteousness. Hachnosat Orchim is an expression of Kavod Habriyot, human dignity. By interrupting his personal religious experience to attend to others, Avraham proved his worthiness to be the patriarch of Hashem’s Chosen People. Rav Soloveitchik also explained that Hachnosat Orchim is one of the ways that we walk in God’s ways. We must be hospitable just as Hashem is hospitable. Rav Soloveitchik explained: The Almighty is the great Machnis Orchim. His hospitality made it possible for humanity to exist, for the world to come into being. “To be” means to share the infinite being of the Almighty. The Almighty, like Abraham, invites people to partake of His boundless existence.

          The Hachnasat Orchim of Avraham was performed for strangers who had no other source of food, water or lodging. Hosting guests who have nowhere else to go is following in Avraham’s path. However Jewish tradition also recognizes the value and the power of hosting friends, neighbors and acquaintances as expressions of Hachnasat Orchim. These people may have somewhere else to eat, they may have plenty of food in their pantry and refrigerator. Nonetheless, acts of hospitality towards friends and neighbors strengthen relationships, build community, and foster an atmosphere of chesed and caring.

          The current CoVID circumstances challenge our ability to fulfill the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim. Sharing a meal indoors with non-immediate family members is a higher risk activity. As we are stymied in our ability to host people in the usual and accepted ways- ie for a Shabbat meal or other indoor activity- let us consider new and creative ways to fulfill both the letter and the spirit of Hachnasat Orchim. Here are a few ideas that come to mind:

1)       Call a friend or neighbor before Shabbat to wish them a Shabbat Shalom. Tell them that you’re calling them because you were thinking about them and you wish you could host them for a Shabbat meal, and you look forward to doing so when it is safe to do so. Another option is to deliver flowers or dessert with the same sentiment. Cooking a dish or meal for someone and delivering it to them for Shabbat can be an incredibly meaningful act.

2)       Meeting people outdoors without food is a lower risk activity. You can invite a person or family to your backyard and instead of serving a meal, offer a Dvar Torah or some conversation or words of encouragement (along with a drink or light refreshments).

          These are just a few suggestions. There are many innovative and creative ways that we can act Divinely by engaging in the mitzvah of Hachnast Orchim.

 

Builders of Babel Vs Avraham

The Netziv explains that the sin of Migdal Bavel was not the specifics of what they said: (such as blasphemy or ego or heresy as Rashi suggests). Rather the problem was that at Migdal Bavel, there was only one voice, a singular way to think and to express oneself. The people at Migdal Bavel feared diversity. Yet it is through diversity that God’s plan is able to come to fruition: people serving God in different ways and people learning from one another while maintaining their individuality and uniqueness.

There is one Midrash that support the Netziv’s view. “Rabbi Eliezer said,’devarim achadim is related to the word chadim- ie sharp words.” For the people at Migdal Bavel spoke sharply against God- and against Avraham. According to the Midrash they mocked Avraham, calling him “an old mule”- ie sterile and without a future. Why such vehemence against Avraham, who at this time was 48 years old and had not even begun his formal spiritual journey?

The people of Migdal Bavel rejected and mocked Avraham because he stood for three ideas which they despised. And it is these attitudes that highlight the problem of “one language, one purpose.”

Avraham stood for unity, not uniformity. Avraham preaches a message of monotheism to all who would listen, and even to those who were just interested in his hospitality. Yet Avraham’s goal was not to make everyone exactly like him. In fact, when Avraham begins his journey next week he leaves with Hanefesh Asher Asu B’Charan- those whom he had influenced while in Charan. And that’s the last time we hear of them. They went on to live their lives very different than Avraham; there was no uniformity. But Avraham had accomplished his goal: a unity of disparate people that all acknowledge and respect monotheism.

Avraham celebrated commonality, not conformity. Hashem promises Avraham that he will be an Av Hamon Goyim, the father of a multitude of nations; NOT the father of one huge single nation. He had two sons that he loved even though they were quite different. He is promised that through him all the families of the land will be blessed. They will maintain their uniqueness yet identify with one land, just like it was Avraham’s hope that they would identify with one God.

Avraham valued belonging, but he was not interested in necessarily fitting in. He feels tremendous responsibility towards all other human beings. That’s why he prays so hard for Sodom, and that’s why he fights so hard on behalf of the five kings. Avraham belongs to the human race and takes that role seriously and with a sense of responsibility. Yet Avraham remains HaIvri: the other, different and unlike anyone else in his generation. He does not feel the need to fit in to the rest of society, even as he takes the responsibility of belonging very seriously.

The lessons of Migdal Bavel are lessons that we need to keep in mind as a society, and especially as a synagogue community. Diversity is a natural part of Hashem’s world order; we should embrace it and never try to fight against it. Our goal should be unity; unity of goals, unity of values, but not uniformity. We strive to find common ground but never demand conformity. We must learn to appreciate the value of belonging to a group, while not requiring that one has to “fit in in all ways” in order to belong.

A society/ community built upon these values is not a Tower of Babel, destined to be dismantled, but a shining example of what Hashem hopes for us.

Starting Anew- from Bet

The Torah begins with the letter bet. Many have asked: why not begin the Torah with an alef, the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet? One popular answer is that starting with the letter bet is an expression of humility; there are certain things about God that are beyond our human comprehension. Just as the letter bet is closed on three sides and only open facing towards the left (the direction that Hebrew is written), so too we approach the Creation story with an awareness that we cannot comprehend what came “before the bet” ie before Bereishit.

A second explanation as to why the Torah begins with a bet is as a reminder that we should always be building our Torah knowledge and understanding upon some precedent, and never from absolute aleph. Our understanding of Torah should be built upon what we learn from our teachers and from earlier commentators and traditional sources. While it is appropriate and commendable to seek out new and personal relevance in the Torah, these efforts cannot be an approach that starts from scratch/ starts from aleph. Our new understandings must start from bet, ie remain loyal to the traditional understandings of Torah, as have been incorporated into our Mesorah.  

Lastly, the Midrash (Bereishit Rabba 1:10) suggests that the Torah begins with the letter bet because the word bracha (blessing) begins with a bet. Torah is a blessing in our lives and to the world, so we begin the Torah with the letter bet. The letter aleph starts the word “arur” (cursed) so bet is a better letter to begin with. The Ibn Ezra asks: we find many negative words that begin with a bet! What exactly is the Midrash trying to tell us?

The Maharal explained that the Midrash is teaching us that the letter bet symbolizes blessing; not because it begins the word “bracha” but because of the nature of the letter. Bet is the second letter in the alef-bet. Its gematria (numerical value) is 2. Whereas the alef is singular, the bet is plural. When you add to a single entity, you create the blessing of multiplicity. The three letters that comprise the root of the word bracha are all letters whose gematriyas each note a multiplicity:

Bet- 2 (double one)

Reish- 200 (double 100)

Chof- 20 (double 10)

Throughout Parshat Bereishit we read how blessing can be found in multiplicity. For example, Hashem says that it is not good for man to be alone. So woman is created so that the blessing of multiplicity can be found in the husband-wife relationship. In each generation, blessings are manifested through a multiplicity of children: “Peru Urevu”. 

Parshat Bereishit is read this year in the midst of a very important and very contentious election season. I encourage you to exercise your democratic right to vote. I also encourage you to learn about the issues and the candidates in order to make an educated decision. I believe that the lesson of the bet can be helpful as we prepare to vote. Hearing from and considering a multiplicity of opinions is not only helpful in making educated choices, but it can also be the source of blessing in our lives.

How To Deal With Curses

 

The story is told about the members of a certain Shul who were all terrified of being called up for the Aliya of the Tochacha, the curses described in the 6^th Aliyah of Parshat Ki Tavo.  They called a special Board Meeting, and decided to hire someone to take the aliyah of the Tochecha.  It wasn’t easy, but finally a willing candidate was found and hired.

Parshat Ki Tavo arrived and the Gabbai looked around for the contracted individual to call him for shishi.  But, he was nowhere to be found in the Shul. “Perhaps he’s running late,” suggested one of the Ba’alei Batim, “let’s wait a few minutes for him.” They sat for about a quarter of an hour, getting more and more impatient by the minute.  After all, this was not proper.  An agreement had been made.  Money had been paid.  Where was he?

Right before `things got out of hand, the contracted man entered the Shul.  The Board members ran to him and demanded to know his reason for being late. The individual calmly turned to the angry group, and replied, “I was davening in the shul down the block.  Do you really think that a person can make a living from only one Tochacha?”

Rav Chayim ben Betzalel, the brother of the Maharal of Prague, relates in his Sefer Ha-chayim that this “fear” of the tokhecha in Parashat Ki-Tavo led to some serious disruptions and lack of honor for the Torah.  He describes that in some synagogues, the Torah would remain open, in the middle of the reading, for several hours, as no congregants were willing to come and recite the berakhot over this aliya.  The Biur Halacha records that there were synagogues in which they actually cancelled Torah reading on the Shabbatot during which the curses should have been read (ie Bechukotai and Ki Tavo).

 The Biur Halacha (428) is strongly disagrees with these approaches to the Tochacha and writes:

V’Kamah Ra’ot Osin- they are doing multiple things wrong:

First, they are not fulfilling the ancient obligation to read the Torah on Shabbat, established by Moshe Rabbeinu himself. Second: They are ignoring the advice given to us by Shlomo Hamelech in Mishlei (3:11), “Musar Hashem beni al tim’as”: “My son, do not loathe the criticism, rebuke of Hashem” Third, Their premise is mistaken. Do they actually believe that by not hearing or seeing the words of these curses they can spare themselves and avoid that which is laid out in those verses?! The Chofetz Chaim ends with three powerful words: V’Aderabba, Chas V’Shalom”, unfortunately, the opposite is more likely. If we avoid confronting the lessons of the Tochacha we are more likely to suffer from their ill effects.

Not reading the Tochecha to avoid its impact is juvenile behavior. It’s like when a young child plays hide and seek- by covering his own eyes. He assumes that if he can’t see you, then you can’t see him. It’s also what I call the Emperor’s new Clothes Syndrome: that if the truth of the matter is left unsaid then somehow it has not really happened. We know that this is not the case. The emperor was not wearing any clothes even before the young child said anything.

These last 6 months have made clear that there are some curses that no one can avoid. Some may suffer from them more than others, but everyone is impacted. In these situations I would suggest that our best recourse is to stand up and get the Aliyah. Standing up as an expression of resolve and optimism. And getting the Aliyah entails firmly grasping the Atzei Chayim (“the trees of life”) of the Torah. The more firmly we grasp the Torah, the more capable we will be of dealing with the curses and finding the blessings of our lives.