Gratitude: A Reminder that We Can’t Go It Alone

I find it to be a most interested coincidence that Thanksgiving weekend in the US very often falls during the week that we read Parshat Vayeitzei, the Torah portion that teaches us much about gratitude. We read how Leah has the first four of Yaakov’s sons; the fourth son she names Yehudah, from the word Hoda’ah, to give thanks. As Leah puts it, upon having a fourth son for Yaakov, “at this time, let me gratefully praise Hashem.” There is much that we can learn from Leah’s naming of Yehuda and her expression of gratitude at this point. For instance, Rashi quotes the Midrash that Leah foresaw that Yaakov’s family would consist of 4 wives and 12 sons. If each wife would merit to have an equal share in the tribes of Israel, then each woman would bear Yaakov three sons. Upon having a fourth son Leah realized that she had been blessed with more than her “fair share” of sons. She therefore chose that moment to express gratitude.

                I would like to suggest an alternate interpretation, supported in part by the name of Leah’s third son, Levi. He is named such because Leah hopes, “this time my husband will be attached to me.” Even though Leah knew that she was not the favorite wife, she was sure that she could make Yaakov love her. She was convinced that by the time she bore Yaakov his third son (fulfilling her share of the tribes), Yaakov would have no choice but to love her. After the birth of Levi, Leah is forced to admit that nothing in life is a sure thing. Furthermore she realizes that even the best laid plans require help from God. She demonstrates that she has learned these lessons by naming her fourth son Yehuda, a name that indicates Leah’s newfound understandings. No person is an island. We all need help- be it from god or our fellow human being.

                Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner points out that the word in Hebrew for “gratitude” is related to the word for “admission.” When we express gratitude we are in effect saying that someone helped us and we could not have made it to this point without their help. Perhaps that is why it is difficult for some people to say “thank you”: for it can make them feel insecure at knowing that they could not do it alone or go it alone. On this Shabbat Vayeitzei/ Thanksgiving let us get more comfortable with expressing gratitude. Let us realize that having what to be grateful for is a source of strength for each of us and a reason to feel blessed.