In life it is often easier to deal with the symptoms of a
problem than confronting the root of the issue. For instance, listening to the
Weinstock children fight with each other has become a common occurrence in our
home. We are blessed with four children and they get along/ don’t get along
equally amongst themselves. This means that every day there may be a different
match-up as far as disagreements are concerned. When fighting breaks out
amongst them these days I try to make the peace by diffusing the situation at
hand. So if they are arguing about who gets to play the Wii, I mediate an
order. If there are arguments about who take a shower first (everyone wants to
go last), we create a rotation of who gets to go last over the course of the
week.
In each
scenario even as I troubleshoot, I cannot help but feel like there is more that
I could be/ should be teaching my children: The importance of family, of
getting along with one another, of listening to parents, of sacrifice, of
trying to be agreeable and not always fighting for your rights if it is an area
that is not significant, of using humor to diffuse situations, of keeping perspective
of the blessings in one’s life.
Hopefully
some of these lessons are rubbing off, but in the moment I do whatever it takes
to get the fighting to stop. I am willing to solve the immediate problem and
leave the root issues for another day.
Towards
the beginning of Parshat Devarim, Moshe recalls the creation of the Jewish
judicial system. He states (1:12), “How can I alone carry your contentiousness,
your burdens and your quarrels?” To alleviate the situation Moshe appoints lower
court systems so that he does not have to adjudicate every single disagreement.
However if we look closely, there are in fact two issues that Moshe mentions
that need to be addressed: First, Moshe cannot possibly handle the entire
caseload of the Jewish People. But there is a second concern: the people are
just too quarrelsome. They don’t get along as well as they should. Although a
court system alleviates the first concern, it does nothing to address the core
issue of a contentious nation. Dealing
with too much controversy acrimony and discord is something much more difficult
to solve and has no easy fix.
There
is a custom to read this pasuk with the tune of Eicha. On one level that is
because the word Eicha is found in this verse. But perhaps on another level we
continue to bemoan the fact that even as troubleshooting continuously takes
place within the Jewish community, we have been negligent in confronting the
core issues that challenged us then and continue to challenge us now.
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