Yesterday our son Eitan underwent an outpatient surgical procedure
that, Baruch Hashem, went well. When it comes to the health and wellbeing of my
children, I am a nervous person (as I think most parents are), often worrying
about the “what ifs”. The two hours in the waiting room felt like much longer.
After surgery, our son had to undergo an x –ray. Suffice it to say, our
three year old son was in no mood to be subjected to any more poking or
prodding. So what could have been a 20 minute test ended up taking over an
hour. And to me it felt a whole lot longer. After all, how is it possible for
some of my hairs to turn from brown to grey within only a one hour timeframe?
With Eitan feeling a lot better today, it gives me the opportunity to
reflect back and note how time is experienced so differently by different
people in different circumstances. I don’t understand Einstein’s Theory of
Relativity. But I do understand when parents of newborns say that the night
lasted forever when their baby is not sleeping; while the parents of high
school and college graduates comment to me how kids grow up in the blink of an
eye. We all know how at times school classes can go by too slow, while summer
vacation goes by too fast. And we all have had the feeling of particular minutes
and hours ticking by tediously, while days and weeks (even years) zoom by.
Intellectually we know that every standard measurement of time- the
minute, hour, day, week- is precisely the same. The feeling of time moving slowly or quickly
is up to us and our perspective. In order to “slow down time” we must exercise
our mindfulness, the kavanah that we invest into our experiences. Time goes by slowly
in a bad way when we do not appreciate the current experience, or when we are
not focused on something that interests us or excites us. Time goes by quickly
when we don’t take a moment to appreciate the good times; when we don’t “stop
to smell the roses.”
In Parshat Shelach we read about the spies sent to check out the Land
of Israel. We read that the spies toured the land for 40 days (13:25). Rashi
quotes the Tanchuma that the land was too large to be toured in only 40 days,
but that Hashem enabled a miracle to occur. The Midrash offers one approach as
to why the miracle occurred. But I’d like to suggest a different possibility,
in terms of the relative experience of time.
An experience that should have taken much longer is described as taking
40 days because the spies were not focused on the task. They were not being
mindful of the experiences they were having- so time just flew by.
Perhaps this is another way of understanding the punishment meted out
to the people in the aftermath of the spies:
בְּמִסְפַּר הַיָּמִים
אֲשֶׁר תַּרְתֶּם אֶת הָאָרֶץ אַרְבָּעִים יוֹם יוֹם לַשָּׁנָה יוֹם לַשָּׁנָה
תִּשְׂאוּ אֶת עֲוֹנֹתֵיכֶם אַרְבָּעִים שָׁנָה וִידַעְתֶּם אֶת תְּנוּאָתִי
According to the number of days which you toured the Land forty days,
a day for each year, you will [thus] bear your iniquities for forty
years; thus you will come to know My alienation.”
The punishment of “a day for each year” is appropriate for the sin of
the spies. Their mistake was rushing through their tour of Israel, so as a
punishment they must spend 40 years contemplating the mistakes of 40 days.
Sometimes a year flies by like a day. Sometimes a day can feel like an
entire year. As we enter into those lazy days of summer, let us resolve to live
life to the fullest, with mindfulness and intention. In so doing we will
automatically be blessed with “long days.”
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