On March 12, 2019, United States federal prosecutors charged 50 people who were allegedly part of a scheme to influence admissions decisions at several American research universities. Wealthy parents of college applicants are accused of paying more than $25 million between 2011 and 2018 to a "college admissions counselor" who used the money to fake student test scores and bribe college officials.

The leader of the scheme, William Rick Singer, pleaded guilty and helped the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) gather incriminating evidence against co-conspirators. He said he unethically facilitated college admission for more than 750 families. Prosecutors in the District of Massachusetts have unsealed indictments and complaints against 50 people, including Singer, university coaches he bribed, and people who are alleged to have used bribery and fraud to secure admission for their children at nine universities. Among the accused parents are prominent business people and well-known actors.

There are many issues and lessons that emerge from this news story that are worthy of our consideration. One issue is the proper approach parents and children should take when considering options for college. Most of our community families invest in our children’s Jewish education through high school. It would seem obvious that we consider and explore Orthodox Jewish life on the campuses that we consider for college. A few months ago Rabbi Adam and Sara Frieberg presented an evening for high schools Juniors and Seniors about choosing a college, and the types of things we should be looking for and the questions we should be asking when we tour college campuses. I am sure that they would be willing to review those suggestions with any interested parent or student. No secular college campus Jewish life can compete with what is available at a Jewish sponsored college setting. It also makes sense that the 12+ years of Jewish education be cemented and enhanced during the college years. That is why I believe every high school graduate should seriously consider one of the Jewish-sponsored college options such as Yeshiva University, Touro or Bar Ilan etc. And if one decides that a secular campus is best for them, then they must figure out how they will continue to thrive and grow Jewishly during these important and formative college years.

Another issue that this story brings up is the lack of proper parenting displayed in this unfortunate saga. Parents want what’s best for their children. But there is a limit to the ways that a parent can/ should intervene on their child’s behalf. Although there may be some ambiguous cases, lying, cheating and breaking the law to get them a college acceptance is a clear violation of proper parenting norms. Sociologists used to talk about “helicopter parents” as parents who would “hover” over their children, schedule their days, and plan their futures. Today they talk about “snow plow parents” (yes, even in Florida). These are parents who do whatever they can to remove all the challenges and difficulties out of their child’s way. These parents mean well. They want their child to succeed. They want their child to never encounter any difficulties or failures. But in so doing, these parents are doing a tremendous disservice to their children. For an important attribute to develop throughout life, but especially in adolescence, is resilience.

Children learn resilience by recovering from failure, by enduring challenges, and by adapting in the face of adversity. At some point in their lives, our children will be on their own, and have to navigate situations without the help of their parents, snow plow variety or otherwise. Part of properly providing for our children entails providing them with resilience and the confidence necessary to overcome challenges, setbacks, even failures.

In Parshat Tzav we read about a type of rejected sacrifice, called pigul. This is a korban that is from a kosher species and was prepared correctly. However when it came time to sprinkle the blood on the Altar the Kohen got confused and had a thought that was not applicable to this korban. It was the thought that invalidates the offering. Pigul reminds us that we must have proper thoughts and intentions throughout an endeavor. Ends do not justify the means. This is a lesson we must learn ourselves, and model to the next generation.