From Challenge to Strength

 

In Parshat Vayishlach we read how Rachel names her second son just before she dies (35:18)

וַיְהִ֞י בְּצֵ֤את נַפְשָׁהּ֙ כִּ֣י מֵ֔תָה וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ בֶּן־אוֹנִ֑י וְאָבִ֖יו קָֽרָא־ל֥וֹ בִנְיָמִֽין:

And it came to pass, when her soul departed for she died that she named him Ben Oni, but his father called him Benjamin

What was the disagreement in names between Rachel and Yaakov really about?

Ben Oni according to Ibn Ezra: means ben Aveili: son of my mourning. Related to the word onen- a person who has lost a close relative; before burial and the start of shiva- a person is an Onen- exempt from positive mitzvot and from displays of joy such as consuming meat and wine.

According to Rashi: Ben Oni means ben Tzaari- son of my pain. Both interpretations makes sense as Rachel died in childbirth. 

Yaakov, in response called the child Binyamin. According to the first explanation of Rashi- “Son of my right” the Torah’s compass is oriented East towards the sun, when facing East, the South is to your right. According to Rashi, Yaakov is indicating that Binyamin is the only child to be born in Canaan- for Yaakov traveled south from Charan to reach Eretz Yisrael. Binyamin was Yaakov’s Sabra child. The Netziv takes it one step further and suggests that Yaakov was noting that not only was Binyamin born in Eretz Yisrael, but in the southern portion of the Land. Historically the major centers of Torah- Yerushalyim, Yavneh- were in the south. The name Binyamin therefore alludes not only to Eretz Yisrael, but also Torat Yisrael.

We call this child Binyamin. It seems as though Yaakov’s name stuck. By all other eleven tribes, the mother named the child. Why should this child be different?

 Ramban explains that in truth this is no different than the other tribes.  Rachel called the child Ben Oni- and Yaakov also called the child Ben Oni.

 Rachel meant Ben Oni “son of my pain and mourning”. Yaakov meant ben Oni as “son of my strength”- like the word Oni is used in Parshat Vayechi in Yaakov’s blessing to Reuven: “Reishit Oni- first of my strength.” The word Oni can mean sadness and it can mean strength. Yaakov says to Rachel, “you are right, his name is Ben Oni. But it means he is a son of strength.” Binyamin is not a different name for the boy- His name was Ben Oni. Binyamin is Yaakov’s interpretation of the name that Rachel initially gave him.

Ramban puts it beautifully: “V’Aviv Asah Min Oni- Kochi”

Yaakov translated Ben Oni as Binyamin: sadness and challenge- into strength.

The Vilna Gaon once said that if you want to know what your purpose in life is- don’t focus on what you’re good at, what comes easy to you. Think about your greatest challenges- for it is in confronting and growing from your biggest challenges that you will find why you were put in this world.

Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas write about the Crucibles of Leadership; one common trait found in all leaders is their ability to learn and grow from adverse situations and difficulties. It can be a major crisis or a moment in which they felt challenged- externally or from within. It is through those challenges that leaders grow and maximize, and realize their abilities. Let us each in our own way Asah Min Oni- Kochi: appreciate the potential for renewed and expanded strength that exists in every challenge.