You Don’t Need to Walk in Anyone’s Shoes to Show Empathy

Hillel taught in Pirkei Avot (2:4) “Do not judge your fellow man until you have reached his place.” This is similar to the expression, “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” We need to train ourselves to be less judgmental. From our perspective a person may be acting incorrectly or making a big mistake. However before we judge that person let us remember that that person is coming from a different place and has different experiences and different perspectives. We should be slower to judge others and quicker to try and understand them. And even when we can’t understand them we should be slow to judge and quick to help in whatever ways that we can.

While we may not be able to “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” that does not mean that we cannot empathize with people who are experiencing challenges with which we do not have personal experience or familiarity. The basis of empathy is that we should try to feel the pain of others, even if the reality is that that pain is foreign and unfamiliar to us. A therapist need have experienced every trauma in order to provide treatment to a person who is struggling with trauma. A person can pay a shiva or Bikur Cholim visit even if they have never been on the receiving end of such a chesed. This was one of Pharaoh’s mistakes. We have a tradition that the tribe of Levi was never enslaved. Some credit Yosef with this break. During the years of famine Yosef did not take over the land of the Egyptian priests. Pharaoh continued that tradition by not enslaving the tribe of Levi, who functioned in a priestly role. 

However Rabbi Yonasan Eibeschutz suggested that Pharoah had much more sinister motives. Through his sorcerers he learned that the future redeemer of Israel was destined to come from the tribe of Levi. Pharaoh believed that only a person who was subjected to slavery would have the sensitivity, empathy and motivation to lead the nation out of slavery. Pharaoh miscalculated because he did not factor in the power of empathy, often referred to in Jewish texts as “Nosei B’Ol Im Chaveiro” (the ability to share in my friend’s burden). 

Although Moshe was never enslaved, the Torah tells us that (2:11) “he went out to his brothers and perceived their burdens”. Moshe did not have to be enslaved in order to feel empathy for the Jewish slaves. The Shelah points out that Levi gave his children names that reference the slavery, even though they themselves were not enslaved. His children have names such as Gershom (“I am a stranger in a strange land”) and Merari (from the word mar, bitterness of slavery). By naming his children names that reference the slavery, Levi took concrete steps to ensure that he and his descendants would always feel and demonstrate empathy towards their fellow Jews. In the merit of this empathy Moshe became leader and the Jewish People were redeemed.