Out of Control

In Parshat Behar (25:39) the Torah commands a Jew from abusing his/ her Jewish servant, and after 6 years (or in the Yovel Year- whichever comes first) that Jewish servant must be set free. Towards the end of the Fist Temple Era the Jewish people violated this commandment. The prophet Yirmiyahu warns the people that they will be punished and expelled from their land because of their unwillingness to let their Jewish servants go free as commanded by the Torah (Jeremiah Chapter 34). The Talmud Yerushalmi (Rosh Hashanah 3:5) teaches that right before Yetziat Mitzrayim, Hashem commanded Bnai Yisrael in the mitzvah of freeing Jewish servants after 6 years. God hoped that with the hardships of slavery still fresh in their experience, the people would better internalize and obey this commandment. From both of these sources it is clear that letting Jewish servants free was never easy for people to do. While the availability if inexpensive domestic help might have been part of it, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski z’l writes that the real reason why this is such a difficult mitzvah to observe is because it requires a person to overcome their desire to be in control. The Sefer Hachinuch (331) writes that on Yom Kippur of Yovel, the shofar would be sounded (this is the source for our blowing shofar every Yom Kippur at the end of Neilah). The reason the shofar was sounded was because Jewish servants were supposed to be freed on Yom Kippur of Yovel, and the shofar blast was supposed to appeal to the masters’ emotions and spirituality to actually go through with it and grant the servants their freedom. Rabbi Chaim Zaichek notes that it was difficult to fulfill this mitzvah because people like to be in control, and people hate to yield control that they have.

Feeling in control of one’s own life can be healthy and necessary. Of course, upon further analysis we realize just how little control we have over our lives. This realization can enhance and elevate our relationship with Hashem, especially as it relates to Emunah, Bitachon and Tefilah.  Nevertheless a sense of agency, a belief that we have some control over what happens to us – or at least over how we respond to what happens to us- can be a very comforting and empowering feeling. However the need to feel/ be in control over others is very damaging. Controlling personalities are very alienating and can often devolve into abuse. Our relationships with others should be built on love and mutual respect and not control.

While the mitzvah of releasing Jewish servants may no longer be technically relevant, the importance of not exerting control (and relinquishing when appropriate) remains critical today. In general the phrase “out of control” is used to describe something ominous or dangerous. However we must not forget that always trying to be “in control” can be just as dangerous, albeit in different ways.