The Mindset Behind Lashon Hara

Parshat Tazria teaches the laws of diagnosing the spiritual affliction of Tzara’at. Our Rabbis taught that Biblical Tzara’at would occur at times as punishment for the sin of Lashon Hara. The first instance of destructive speech in the Torah goes all the way back to Genesis. In trying to convince Chava to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, the snake told her that God was afraid that if humans ate from the tree, then they would become rivals to God Himself, and nobody likes a rival. If we take a step back we begin to realize how preposterous this argument really is. Hashem created the world to bestow kindness onto mankind. At first Adam did not have to work. The angels provided them with whatever they needed. They could spend all of their time connecting with and enjoying their closeness to God. Yet the snake walks (perhaps literally) into this scene and sees the negative. The cause of this first Lashon Hara, and every subsequent infraction, is viewing life through a jaundiced eye. Lashon Hara always entails viewing a situation and focusing on the negative aspect. Lashon Hara most directly damages the person who speaks it because the speaker of Lashon Hara corrupts him/herself into a negative personality. Habitual negativity infects everyone around the speaker as well. People who radiate such negativity find it difficult to be in satisfying relationships with spouses, children, family or friends because they are always harping on the problems. And those who are committed to maintaining their positive outlook will ultimately distance themselves from those who exhibit such negativity. Ultimately people who are negative towards other people will sour on Hashem too. Instead of seeing the blessings in their life, the Baal Lashon Harah will focus on the things that Hashem does that they perceive as bad, instead of all of the blessings that Hashem bestows.

Rabbi ISser Zalman Meltzer was sitting in his sukkah one year on Chol Hamoed Sukkot. He asked Rabbi Dovid Finkel, who was visiting him, to bring him a pen and a piece of paper. Rabbi Finkle was surprised at the request as Rav Meltzer was known to be stringent not to write on Chol Hamoed. Sensing the hesitancy Rav Meltzer explained that it was urgent for him to have a pen and paper- a matter of Pikuach Nefesh (saving a life). Upon receiving the pen and paper Rav Meltzer wrote a pasuk from Mishlei (4:25):

עֵינֶיךָ לְנֹ֣כַח יַבִּ֑יטוּ וְ֜עַפְעַפֶּ֗יךָ יַיְשִׁ֥רוּ נֶגְדֶּֽךָ:: Let your eyes look forward, and let your eyelids look straight ahead of you. Rav Meltzer explained that over Chol Hamoed hundreds of Jews would come to visit him, and not all of them would be great Torah scholars or interesting conversationalists. Some would be unbalanced people, and other would have faults and flaws of varying degrees. The Netziv explained this verse in Mishlei as teaching us that if you look at someone and first notice a fault, turn your eye inward and look at yourself instead. Even though it sometimes seems that speaking Lashon Hara can be satisfying and enjoyable, the truth is that it is exactly the opposite. Speaking Lashon Hara corrodes our viewpoint, corrodes our relationships, and ultimately corrodes our soul. Avoiding Lashon Hara creates space for us to appreciate the blessings that we have. Avoiding Lashon Hara will make us happier people, allowing us to develop our positive dispositions and to strengthen our relationship with others and with Hashem.