Combating Our Sense of Entitlement

At the beginning of Parshat Lech Lecha, Avraham takes his nephew Lot with him as he leaves Charan. By the middle of the Parsha, Avraham and Lot are parting ways. The Torah tells us that this parting of ways was caused by a disagreement between the shepherds of Lot and the shepherds of Avraham. Rashi explains that the shepherds of Lot believed that they were entitled to graze their sheep on land that technically still belonged to others. Their logic was that the land was to be given to Avraham and his descendants, and Lot was currently Avraham’s closest blood relative. The shepherds of Avraham disagreed, claiming that this promise had not yet been enacted and therefore the land still belonged to others; grazing on that land was theft. From this dispute, we see that Lot characterized a sense of entitlement. Even without working, without effort, and without following in the ways of Avraham, Lot felt that he was entitled to the blessings promised to Avraham.

This sense of entitlement may explain Lot’s choice of hometown. The Torah tells us that Lot chose to live in Sodom. We are also told that the people of Sodom were (13:14) “were exceedingly sinful and wicked.” Even if Lot did not want to live as committed and observant a life as his Uncle Avraham, why would he move to a place full of wicked people? Perhaps the answer lies in the other descriptive we are told about Sodom (13:10) “it was well watered everywhere.” Sodom was irrigated by underground springs, and therefore it was always very fertile for agriculture. Lot moved to Sodom because wealth and agricultural success were assured. There was no doubt, and no need for effort. This fits with Lot’s sense of entitlement. It is not surprising that a city that fosters a sense of entitlement also fosters wickedness and callousness. Entitled people are too self-centered to worry about others, and take care of themselves even at the expense of their neighbor- both characteristics that are ascribed to Sodom.

We can contrast Sodom with Eretz Yisrael, a land that is entirely dependant on rain. Rain comes from Hashem. If inhabitants of Eretz Yisrael want rain, then they have to turn to Hashem in prayer. While in Sodom one was encouraged to feel entitled, in Eretz Yisrael one is encouraged to recognize Hashem’s role and work to be deserving of Hashem’s blessings.

In Israel, they begin to request rain (V’tein Tal Umatar L’vracha) starting on the 7^th of Cheshvan. This event coupled with the mistakes of Lot/ Sodom are good opportunities to remind ourselves of the dangers of feeling entitled, and the need to always be grateful and humble, no matter how many blessings we are blessed with.

Fearing Diversity: the Mistake At the Tower of Bavel

Next month marks the 200^th anniversary of the birth of the Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin.

The Netziv, has a unique understanding of the Tower of Babel story, as described in Parshat Noach. The mistake made by the builders of Migdal Bavel is expressed in the very first pasuk of the narrative (11:1):

Now the entire earth was of one language and uniform words.

אוַיְהִי כָל הָאָרֶץ שָׂפָה אֶחָת וּדְבָרִים אֲחָדִים:

The Netziv sees within this uniform language and common purpose a problem in and of itself. As the Netziv puts it, the problem with the builders of Migdal Bavel was not the specifics of what they said: (such as blasphemy or ego or heresy as Rashi suggests). Rather the problem was that at Migdal Bavel, there was only one voice, a singular way to think and to express oneself. This, explains the Netziv is dangerous, even sinful.

The people at Migdal Bavel feared diversity. After the Flood God’s plan entailed diversity: different families/ nations with different languages living in their own lands. It is through diversity that God’s plan is able to come to fruition: ie people serving God in different ways and people learning from one another while maintaining their individuality and uniqueness.

                

Though Rashi doesn’t quote it in his commentary, there is one Midrash that does support the Netziv’s view. “Rabbi Eliezer said,”devarim achadim” is related to the word chadim- ie sharp words.” For the people at Migdal Bavel spoke sharply against God- and against Avraham. We have explained how and why they spoke out against God, but what did Avraham do to them? According to this Midrash they mocked Avraham, calling him “an old mule”- ie sterile and without a future. Why did they expresse such vehemence against Avraham, who at this time was 48 years old and had not even begun his divinely mandated journey?

The people of Migdal Bavel rejected and mocked Avraham because he stood for three ideas which they despised. And it is this attitude that highlights the problem of “one language, one purpose.”

Avraham stood for unity, not uniformity. Avraham preaches a message of monotheism to all who would listen, and even to those who were just interested in his hospitality. Yet Avraham’s goal was not to make everyone exactly like him. In fact, when Avraham begins his journey next week he leaves with Hanefesh Asher Asu B’Charan- those whom he had influenced while in Charan. And that’s the last time we hear of them. They went on to live their lives very different than Avraham- there was no uniformity. But Avraham had accomplished his goal- a unity of disparate people that all acknowledge and respect Hashem.

Avraham celebrated commonality. Not conformity. Hashem promises Avraham that he will be an Av Hamon Goyim- the father of a multitude of nations- NOT the father of one huge single nation. He had two sons that he loved even though they were quite different. He is referred to as the Av Hamon Goyim. He is promised that through him all the families of the land will be blessed- they will maintain their uniqueness yet identify with one land, just like it was Avraham’s hope that they would identify with one God.

Avraham valued belonging, but he was not interested in necessarily fitting in. He feels tremendous responsibility towards all other human beings; that’s why he prays so hard for Sedom, that’s why he fights so hard on behalf of the 5 kings. He belongs to the human race and takes that role seriously and with responsibility. Yet Avraham remains HaIvri- the other, different and unlike anyone else in his generation. He does not feel the need to fit in to the rest of society, even as he takes the responsibility of belonging very seriously.

The lesson of Migdal Bavel are lessons that we need to keep in mind as a society, and especially as a Jewish community. Diversity is a natural part of Hashem’s world order; we should embrace it and never try to fight against it. Our goal should be unity – unity of goals, unity of values – But not uniformity. We strive to find common ground but never demand conformity. We must learn to appreciate the value of belonging to a group, while not requiring that one has to “fit in all ways” in order to belong.

A society/ community built upon these values is not a Tower of Babel, destined to be dismantled, but a shining example of what Hashem hopes for from a community.

Preparations are Never in Vain

This is why I want to be a meteorologist. If the predictions concerning Hurricane Matthew were correct, the meteorologists would have been commended for properly warning the residents of South Florida, ensuring that they were properly prepared and safe from the storm. And if the predictions were wrong- all they need to do is explain that the storm changed course- and people will be happy that they were not more negatively impacted by the storm.

Of course there will always be some cynics and skeptics, those who are generally disgruntled. They will complain that Thursday was a waste. they will argue that we could have been much more productive if the storm's course was more accurate. (Although many people I've spoken to have noted how productive they were yesterday getting chores accomplished in the house.) This disgruntled sentiment is expressed in this meme (borrowed, I believe, from a previous storm that was a true miss):

This sentiment is wrong for at least three reasons:

1) Instead of being disgruntled we should feel thankful. As we are aware, it could have been a lot worse for us. We will be much happier if we look for reasons to be grateful instead of reasons to be annoyed.

2) Others have been severely impacted by the storm, and our thoughts and prayers should be with them. We should also be considering ways to help those who have been impacted..

3) These preparations are not for naught. Life is all about being prepared (and showing up). No experience can be fully appreciated if one has not prepared in advance. Preparation helps us become better people- whether we need to utilize those preparations in real life or not. And you never know when an earlier preparation will benefit us later on in life.

Yom Kippur is a perfect example of the need for preparation. The Day of Atonement is jam packed with prayer and fasting. It is meant to serve as the culmination of a process of reflection, introspection, and repentance that begin with Rosh Chodesh Elul, was intensified over Rosh Hashanah and progresses through the 10 Days of Repentance.

Let us appreciate the value of preparation- those we make in the realm of Hurricane prep, as well as those who  make in the realm of spiritual prep.

Young and Senior, New and Old: We Need to Focus on Both

Parshat Ki Tavo contains within it the curses that Moshe foretells will fall upon the nation should they not live up to the expectations thrust upon them by the Torah. Part of this dynamic is understanding the metaphysical rules of cause and effect; ie sin brings punishment. The verses in Ki Tavo go into some details as to the particulars of such punishment. One element of the punishment is exile. The Torah goes into some detail about this exile, and by whom will it be perpetrated (28:49-50):

Hashem will carry against you a nation from afar…a nation whose language you will not understand. A brazen nation that will not be respectful to the old nor gracious to the young.”

 Many of the Meforshim understand this to be an allusion to Rome under Vespasian and Titus. I understand this characterization to be just as important for us to understand for ourselves as it is a description of our enemies. A brazen nation is described as one that does not respect its elders. We are living in an age that generally considers “newer” to be “better”. We must not fall into that trap set for us by society. We must appreciate the wisdom of our elders and the debt of gratitude that we owe previous generations.

A brazen nation is also one that does not show extra care and concern for the young. Many people today look towards the future in a very pessimistic fashion. They focus on the problems that they feel lay ahead, and wonder whether humanity even has a future. They choose not to have children, for why should new life be brought into such a scary, sad world? We reject such a view outright and attribute it to a selfish and egotistical attitude. We believe that it is within our reach to better the world, and part of our legacy is to leave the next generation better off in some fashion.

A brazen nation neither respects its old nor its young. Many groups have been able to accomplish one of these two tasks, but at the expense of the other. For instance those who revere the old are often wary of the young, while those who concentrate on the young often ignore the old. Our challenge as Jews is to simultaneously be concerned with our pasts and our futures, to be respectful of our old and gracious towards our young. In this way we can avoid becoming brazen and avoid the curses while receiving the blessings promised to us by the Torah for doing the right thing.

We must never view situations in a myopic or "zero sum" fashion.

Our focus on the young and the new need not and must not come at the expense of our commitments to that/ those who are more senior or more established.

The goal is to elevate our communities and our service to all segments of the population, to the benefit of everyone.

If You See Something, Say Something

In our post 9/11 world, we are all familiar with the security-conscious slogan: “If you see something, say something.” Our vigilance is the first line of defense. Being aware of your surroundings can keep you safe and help save the lives of others. Seeing something is not only the first line of defense though; it also obligates us. Utilizing our sight perception thrusts upon us a responsibility to process what we have seen and then act in the best way as the situation dictates. If we see something but don’t “say something” ie we remain bystanders and do not act on what we see- then we become complicit, even responsible, for what transpires due to our inaction.

This is one of the lessons of the Eglah Arufah: the enigmatic ceremony  surrounding an unsolved murder, described at the end of Parshat Shoftim.  If a corpse is found outside of town, the Torah describes how the leaders of the closest population center must engage in a procedure during which they declare their innocence. As part of that procedure they leaders state (21:7):

And they shall announce and say, "Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see [this crime]."

זוְעָנוּ וְאָמְרוּ יָדֵינוּ לֹא שָׁפְכוּ (כתיב שפכה) אֶת הַדָּם הַזֶּה וְעֵינֵינוּ לֹא רָאוּ:

No one really suspects the elders of actually shedding this victim’s blood. However it is possible that they saw something that if they were being more vigilant could have led them to intercede in a manner that could have prevented this loss of life.

We live in interesting times. On the one hand, we have never had more opportunities to connect with each other (texting, social media). And yet at the same time there is more distance and alienation that people are feeling from each other. It may originate from the value we place on privacy. It is exacerbated by the long geographical distances that separate friends and family. The anonymity of the internet cannot be discounted. These factors (and more) contribute to people feeling disconnected and invisible.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month.  Research has shown that many suicides can be prevented if family and friends who see something have the courage to say something.

Let us learn the lesson from the Eglah Arufah and commit to being astute observers of the world around us - especially family and friends. Let us never turn a blind eye. Let us appreciate the opportunities we have to connect with others, and try our best to ensure that those in our social orbit do not feel invisible or disconnected. And let us commit to saying/ acting based on what we see. 

Doing so is a fulfillment of what the Torah describes as the end result of the Eglah Arufah ceremony:

כִּי תַעֲשֶׂה הַיָּשָׁר בְּעֵינֵי יְהֹוָה:

for you shall do what is proper in the eyes of God.           

Don't Remove God from Your Picture

In Parshat Re’eh Moshe criticizes the pagan worship of other nations and then states (12:4)

You shall not do so to the Lord, your God.

דלֹא תַעֲשׂוּן כֵּן לַיהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם:

Moshe here warns us to avoid the temptation of foreign worship and stick to serving God as delineated in the Torah through the commandments.

Many commentators address the question from this verse: What in particular does Moshe want the people to avoid?

Rashi quotes the idea that in this pasuk we are being warned against erasing God’s name.

אזהרה למוחק את השם

I could not help but wonder: Of all the practices we associate with paganism, why is erasing the name of God singled out and why are we warned especially to avoid that behavior? (and furthermore, is it really so that pagan service entails erasing names of gods?)

To answer this question let us consider the underlying philosophy of paganism: self worship. Avodah zarah is an expression of the ego to the extreme. Adherents of idol worship do so because they think that they are in total control of their life and their destiny; not directly, but they can intercede on behalf of whatever future result they seek. It is an attitude that sees no role for God. It is an attitude based on achieving certainty in one’s life, by believing in the formulaic approach to worship that believes that if you want this outcome, all you have to do is serve this god. And if that happens to you, just brings gifts to this other god to fix the situation. In this model man is helpless to better his own lot. He is totally dependent on the whims of the gods.

The first step in adopting a pagan attitude is to erase God from areas of our lives. This can come from a place of helplessness (ie “even God can’t help me now”) or from a place of misplaced humility (ie “Who am I that God should intercede on my behalf?”)

 Moshe is adamant that we not erase God’s name. Judaism rejects paganism and affirms the Presence of Hashem in every facet of our lives. Let’s do our best to never removeGod from the beautiful and complex picture of our lives.

Greatness in Humility

In January 2011, during an exclusive dinner held in Washington DC, presidential advisor Valerie Jarret was sitting at the head table with some important politicians and high ranking military officials. A man walked behind her, dressed in a uniform. Jarret asked him for a glass of wine. Only one problem: the uniformed man was not a waiter. He was 4-star Army General Peter Chiarelli. (What would you have done in that situation? Chewed Jarret out, military style, for her offense? Politely introduced yourself and let her realize her colossal blunder?) The general did none of the above. Instead he went over and poured her a glass of wine. When Jarret realized her mistake, she was mortified. So the general diffused the awkwardness by inviting Jarret to his home for a dinner sometime (where it’d be fine for him to serve her wine). As General Chiarelli put it in an e-mail:

“It was an honest mistake that anyone could have made. She was sitting, I was standing and walking behind her, and all she saw were the two stripes on my pants, which were almost identical to the waiters’ pants.”

General Chiarelli is not alone. Former basketball great Karl Malone of the Utah Jazz was once at the baggage claim area in Salt Lake City when a woman mistook him for a skycap and asked him to carry her bags to the car. So Karl Malone carried her bags to the car. Only when she reached in her purse to give him a tip did he explain that that was not necessary and introduced himself in a friendly manner.

Journalist and author Bob Greene quoted this story as a lesson that graciousness can pay priceless dividends, and it doesn’t cost a thing. Jewish tradition is full of stories of our greatest leaders willing to involve themselves in the most menial of tasks- on behalf of a fellow human being or an important cause.

Here’s one of my favorite stories of that genre, about Rav Chaim Soloveitchik of Brisk, whose yahrtzeit was yesterday, the 21^st of Av:

Once Reb Chaim came out of his house and found a group of children waiting for him. “What do you want?” He asked the youngsters.

“We would like to play horses,” the children replied.

“So nu, go play.” Said the Rav of Brisk.

They responded that no one wanted to be the horse., everyone wanted to be the driver or the passengers.

Reb Chaim immediately volunteered to be the horse. He was roped by the children and they forced him to move along. 

One time when they were playing horse in this fashion, the children got tired and hungry. They told reb Chaim that they would tie him to a tree and then go home to have a snack. Reb Chaim said OK, and the children tied him to the tree with a few strong sailors’ knots. The children went home and forgot about their game, which left their horse, Reb Chaim tied to the tree. It happened to be that the tree was directly in front of Reb Chaim’s shul, and the gabbai saw this strange sight: their Rabbi tied to a tree. He srung into action and told Reb Chaim that he would cut the knots with a  knife to free him. Reb Chaim refused because he did not want to disappoint the children. He insisted that the gabbai go and round up the children so that they could return and finish their game.

At the end of Gemara Megila Rabbi Yochanan said: “Wherever you find the greatness of Hashem described, there you will find His humility.”

The source of this teaching: Parshat Eikev:

For the Lord, your God, is God of gods and the Lord of the lords, the great mighty and awesome God, Who will show no favor, nor will He take a bribe.		יזכִּי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם הוּא אֱלֹהֵי הָאֱלֹהִים וַאֲדֹנֵי הָאֲדֹנִים הָאֵל הַגָּדֹל הַגִּבֹּר וְהַנּוֹרָא אֲשֶׁר לֹא יִשָּׂא פָנִים וְלֹא יִקַּח שֹׁחַד:
18He executes the judgment of the orphan and widow, and He loves the stranger, to give him bread and clothing.		יחעֹשֶׂה מִשְׁפַּט יָתוֹם וְאַלְמָנָה וְאֹהֵב גֵּר לָתֶת לוֹ לֶחֶם וְשִׂמְלָה:

Hashem may be “the G-d of heavenly forces and the Master of all masters, great mighty and awesome.” But He is also described as “performing justice for the orphan and widow, and loving the stranger.”

Greatness is manifested through humility. Through our willingness to get our hands dirty, through living our lives with the attitude that nothing is beneath us if it’s for another human being or for a good cause. We need to walk in God’s ways in this way as well, and understand that our real prominence manifests itself the most when we are great enough to be humble.