Trust In All the Right Places

 

At the end of Parshat Vayeshev, Yosef correctly interpreted the dreams of the royal baker and royal butler. He pleads with the butler to remember him when the butler returns to service as part of the Egyptian royal court. Parshat Miketz opens with the words “וַיְהִ֕י מִקֵּ֖ץ שְׁנָתַ֣יִם יָמִ֑ים” thereby informing us that it was only two years later, when Pharaoh experienced some inexplicable dreams, that the butler remembered to mention Yosef. This began a series of events that ultimately led to Yosef’s ascension to viceroy of Egypt.

The Midrash explains that Yosef was destined to remain in jail for two additional years as a punishment for his request of the butler.

אַשְׁרֵי הַגֶּבֶר אֲשֶׁר שָׂם ה' מִבְטַחוֹ (תהלים מ, ה), זֶה יוֹסֵף. (תהלים מ, ה): וְלֹא פָנָה אֶל רְהָבִים, עַל יְדֵי שֶׁאָמַר לְשַׂר הַמַּשְׁקִים (בראשית מ, יד): זְכַרְתַּנִּי וְהִזְכַּרְתַּנִּי, נִתּוֹסַף לוֹ שְׁתֵּי שָׁנִים

 “Praiseworthy is the person who has made Hashem his trust” (Tehillim 40:5) – this alludes to Yosef. “and did not turn to the arrogant”- (this also refers to Yosef). As a result of Yosef asking the butler twice to remember him (Bereishit 40:14) two years were added to his imprisonment.”
(Bereishit Rabba 89:3)

This is a very difficult Midrash. First, how can the Midrash identify Yosef as both a model of trust in Hashem, and at the same time criticize him for his lack of trust in Hashem? Second, how are we supposed to understand this Midrashic critique of Yosef? He was merely doing his due diligence, leaving no stone unturned in his effort to gain his freedom. While we value trust in God we also believe in the importance of human initiative. Experience has shown that often in life God helps those that help themselves.

Rav Moshe Avigdor Amiel explained that the Midrash is teaching us an important lesson. We are supposed to trust in God. We are supposed to trust in our own abilities and utilize those abilities to act. However we are not supposed to fully trust others. We make a mistake if we depend completely on others for our own salvation. As Rav Amiel puts it, quoting from the verse in Tehillim 40, Yosef was a “Gever” a man of action. He was a dreamer, and tradition teaches that dreams most commonly reflect the conscious thoughts of the dreamer. Yosef dreamed about leadership because he had ambition and passion. The greatness of Yosef was that he paired this ambition and hard work with an awareness and acknowledgement of the role of God at all stages of his life. God was with him as viceroy of Egypt, just as much as God was with him in the pit into which he was thrown by his brothers, and at all moments in between.

Yosef’s mistake was depending exclusively on the butler. Humans are fickle. Humans are forgetful. Humans make mistakes, sometimes in innocence and sometimes with malice.  Yosef’s plea to the butler was not an example of self-reliance, nor was it an example of reliance on Hashem. It was an example of relying exclusively on another human, an act that someone as righteous as Yosef should have known better to avoid.

This week people in the US (and in our community) began to get vaccinated against CoVID. It is a momentous occasion, some might even consider this achievement an overt miracle. As we marvel at human ingenuity and thank Hashem for allowing us to reach this milestone, we should learn from Yosef’s mistake. Trust in God. Trust in yourself. But never put all your trust in others.

No Flash Photography

 

      Last month I went with my son Eitan to Kennedy Space Center to watch the launch of the first manned commercial space rocket. A joint project of NASA and SpaceX, we watched as four astronauts entered the Falcon 9 space capsule and were rocketed into space to spend three months on the International Space Station. Before the launch a NASA educator who was providing narration for the event gave all of us first time launch watchers a piece of advice:

      Don’t try to take pictures or record the launch. First you will see the rocket launch. Then you will hear the noise of the rocket (as the speed of sound is slower than the speed of light). Then you will feel the reverberations of the launch – even though we are 7.6 miles away from the launch site. Take in the experience as it unfolds in real time. And then when you get home, find a cool launch picture online and send it to all of your friends.

      Too often we focus on recording our experiences instead of enjoying those experiences in the moment. For example, a person who spends more time photographing their meal and posting it to social media and less time enjoying the flavors of the dish or the company joining them at the restaurant has fallen victim to this mistake.

      After we light the Chanukah candles we say the brief prayer of Hanerot in which we say:

Throughout the eight days of Chanukah, these lights are sacred, and we are not permitted to make use of them, but only to look at them, in order to offer thanks and praise to Your great Name for Your miracles, for Your wonders and for Your salvations.

      In today’s world full of distractions, the Chanukah lights remind us of the importance of being fully in the moment. When we reflect on the candles, we will naturally be filled with gratitude –  for the miraculous events of the past and for the blessings in our lives today.

      In Parshat Vayeshev we learn about the sibling rivalry that existed between Yosef and his brothers. The rivalry was exacerbated when Yosef told his brothers about his dreams. Dreams are about the future. When Yosef’s brothers heard these dreams they had a choice how to respond. They could have said “Yeah, right” or “let’s see”. With these responses the brothers could have defused the situation for the time being. Instead, the brothers decided to focus on the potential future repercussions of Yosef’s dreams. If they had decided to remain in the moment, and pay less attention to the future implications of Yosef’s dreams, things may have turned out very differently. Rav Soloveitchik explained that the severity of the Egyptian exile was due in large part to the callous manner in which the brothers treated Yosef. This callousness can be traced back to the brothers’ inability to live in the present and focus on the here and now.

      Let us learn from the brothers’ mistake. Let us internalize the message of the Chanukah lights. As they burn, let us look at them intently and commit to living in the moment, appreciating every day. And then let us take a similar approach to our family, friends and acquaintances. Instead of looking at people and seeing any past flaws or potential future problems, let us see them with fresh eyes and appreciate them and our relationship with them. In this way the lessons of Chanukah can enlightened our lives beyond the actual days of the holiday.

 

From Challenge to Strength

 

In Parshat Vayishlach we read how Rachel names her second son just before she dies (35:18)

וַיְהִ֞י בְּצֵ֤את נַפְשָׁהּ֙ כִּ֣י מֵ֔תָה וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ בֶּן־אוֹנִ֑י וְאָבִ֖יו קָֽרָא־ל֥וֹ בִנְיָמִֽין:

And it came to pass, when her soul departed for she died that she named him Ben Oni, but his father called him Benjamin

What was the disagreement in names between Rachel and Yaakov really about?

Ben Oni according to Ibn Ezra: means ben Aveili: son of my mourning. Related to the word onen- a person who has lost a close relative; before burial and the start of shiva- a person is an Onen- exempt from positive mitzvot and from displays of joy such as consuming meat and wine.

According to Rashi: Ben Oni means ben Tzaari- son of my pain. Both interpretations makes sense as Rachel died in childbirth. 

Yaakov, in response called the child Binyamin. According to the first explanation of Rashi- “Son of my right” the Torah’s compass is oriented East towards the sun, when facing East, the South is to your right. According to Rashi, Yaakov is indicating that Binyamin is the only child to be born in Canaan- for Yaakov traveled south from Charan to reach Eretz Yisrael. Binyamin was Yaakov’s Sabra child. The Netziv takes it one step further and suggests that Yaakov was noting that not only was Binyamin born in Eretz Yisrael, but in the southern portion of the Land. Historically the major centers of Torah- Yerushalyim, Yavneh- were in the south. The name Binyamin therefore alludes not only to Eretz Yisrael, but also Torat Yisrael.

We call this child Binyamin. It seems as though Yaakov’s name stuck. By all other eleven tribes, the mother named the child. Why should this child be different?

 Ramban explains that in truth this is no different than the other tribes.  Rachel called the child Ben Oni- and Yaakov also called the child Ben Oni.

 Rachel meant Ben Oni “son of my pain and mourning”. Yaakov meant ben Oni as “son of my strength”- like the word Oni is used in Parshat Vayechi in Yaakov’s blessing to Reuven: “Reishit Oni- first of my strength.” The word Oni can mean sadness and it can mean strength. Yaakov says to Rachel, “you are right, his name is Ben Oni. But it means he is a son of strength.” Binyamin is not a different name for the boy- His name was Ben Oni. Binyamin is Yaakov’s interpretation of the name that Rachel initially gave him.

Ramban puts it beautifully: “V’Aviv Asah Min Oni- Kochi”

Yaakov translated Ben Oni as Binyamin: sadness and challenge- into strength.

The Vilna Gaon once said that if you want to know what your purpose in life is- don’t focus on what you’re good at, what comes easy to you. Think about your greatest challenges- for it is in confronting and growing from your biggest challenges that you will find why you were put in this world.

Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas write about the Crucibles of Leadership; one common trait found in all leaders is their ability to learn and grow from adverse situations and difficulties. It can be a major crisis or a moment in which they felt challenged- externally or from within. It is through those challenges that leaders grow and maximize, and realize their abilities. Let us each in our own way Asah Min Oni- Kochi: appreciate the potential for renewed and expanded strength that exists in every challenge.