Yes, We Can Learn from Everyone

“Only a fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise man from the mistakes of others.”

I must disagree with the first half of this quote from Otto von Bismarck. It is not foolish to learn from one’s own mistakes. It is prudent. Learning from our mistakes transforms failures into growth opportunities. One might argue that to make mistakes in the first place is what is foolish. I disagree. It requires great strength and confidence to take the risks that can sometimes lead to mistakes and failures. As any entrepreneur will tell you one can learn more from mistakes than from successes. This is the thesis of the book Brilliant Mistakes, in which author Paul Schoemaker argues that 99% of successes emerge from failures. This leads to 3 recommendations that Schoemaker addresses to business leaders, but are applicable each of us:

1. Mistakes should be expected and planned for

2. Once made, mistakes should be thoroughly explored and viewed as a resource going forward. As

Schoemaker puts it, “you’ve already paid the tuition so why not get the learning?”

3. Making mistakes that emerge from risk taking (and not just laziness) should be encouraged.

We can all agree on the second half of Bismarck’s saying: A wise person learns from the mistakes of others.

We often think about how we can learn from role models, from people who possess qualities to which we aspire, from people who act in ways that we consider noble and good. But we are limiting ourselves if we only learn from role models and heroes. There is something to learn from everyone. This is stated explicitly in Chapter Four of Pirkei Avot: “Eizehu Chacham? Who is wise? Halomed Mikol Adam: One who learns from everyone.”

EVERYONE?! Are we sure that everyone has something to teach us? The answer is yes. We can learn from everyone. From some people we learn how to act. And from others we learn what not to do. It’s actually more complicated than that. In a world where people are not caricatures of good or evil, but rather complex, it is more likely that we encounter people in our lives that we are inspired to emulate them in some ways while looking to contrast our behavior with how they act at other times.

The closer the relationship, the more likely we are to engage in both learning from comparisons and learning from contrasts. Take parents as an example. In an ideal situation children learn many positive lessons from their parents. But parents are not perfect, and children also witness parental mistakes and inconsistencies. One of the ways children grow and develop is by learning in both ways from their parents: ie what to do and also what not to do.

The story of the Daughters of Tzelafchad contain an example of such modeling. The Rabbis in Masechet Shabbat dispute what Tzelafchad’s sin was. Rabbi Akiva says that he was the “M’koshesh Eitzim,” the person who gathered wood on Shabbat and was stoned for this transgression. Rabbi Shimon says that Tzelafchad was a member of the Ma’apilim, the group that in response to the sin of the spies decided to travel to Israel against God’s advice and with fatal results.

Tzelafchad’s daughters were able to learn from their father’s mistake. Not only that, but they were able to emulate the positive motivations that may have influenced Tzelafchad.

If Tzelafchad was a member of the Ma’apilim, then we see his daughters demonstrating their father’s Chibat Tzion, a love and zeal for Eretz Yisrael that they were able to channel in an appropriate fashion.

And if Tzelafchad was the Mekoshesh Eitzim, the wood-gatherer, then his daughters found the teachable lesson from that sin too. According to some, the wood-gatherer desecrated Shabbat “L’shem Shamayim”. He martyred himself to warn the people of the severity of Sabbath desecration and the veracity of the Torah’s justice system.

This desire to serve as a case study for Bnei Yisrael and to show the validity of the Torah was harnessed by Tzelafchad’s daughters and utilized appropriately. The daughters of Tzelafchad were able to redeem their father’s place in history, by learning from him both what to do and what NOT to do. Their story is a powerful example of the lesson from Pirkei Avot: To be wise means to learn from everyone: what to abandon and what to embrace.

 

Poor Vision Can be Compensated by Great Perception

Wesley Walker played for the NY Jets from 1977-1989 and is considered one of Jets all-time great receivers. He averaged 19 yards per reception over the course of his career and was named twice to the Pro Bowl. And Wesley is legally blind in one eye.

At the time, Walker was considered a medical miracle. How could he catch a football on the run so well without the use of both eyes? In a 1983 newspaper article, a doctor from the Institute of Sports Medicine put it this way: “The most intriguing thing for me, is what this means for young people who have handicaps. The brain has ways to overcome them that are as yet inexplicable” I am sure that the ophthalmologists in our shul can do a better job explaining the miracle of sight. But what I learned from Wesley Walker is that sight and perception are two different things, similar to hearing and listening. Wesley Walker was able to compensate his handicapped vision through the power of perception.

In this morning’s Parsha, Bilam refers to himself as “Shetum Ha’ayin” (24:3). Rashi explains that since the phrase only refers to one eye, we learn from here that Bilam only had one working eye. As we saw by Wesley Walker blindness in one eye need not be a debilitating handicap, so long as one works to sharpen his perception. But this is woefully lacking from Bilam’s bio and can be understood as the root of his downfall.

In the very next Pasuk Bilam claims to be “one who sees the vision of G-d” and yet the Torah describes time and again a lack of perception on the part of Bilam. This is most clearly illustrated when we read how Bilam’s donkey was able to perceive The Angel of G-d while Bilam was not. But there are other examples of Bilam’s lack of perception. For example at the very end of the narrative, after Balak and Bilam’s plan has been thwarted, the Torah says (24:25): “And Bilam got up and went and returned to his place.” Bilam just witnessed G-d’s salvation of the Jewish People, transforming his intended curses into blessings. He just witnessed the supernatural miracle of a donkey talking (remember this was before the series of Shrek movies). And what is his response? Nothing. He may have seen these things but it did not affect his perception of G-d, the world or his role in life. Wesley Walker proves that one can compensate vision deficits by working hard on perception. Bilaam is a cautionary tale of all that we can miss when we merely give a casual glance at the world around us instead of perceiving what is really in front of our eyes.

We look forward to the day that we pray for every morning right before Shema: Or Chadash Al Tzion Tair” May Hashem shine a new light on us to, a light of both vision and perception onto us and all of humanity. “V’Nizkeh Chulanu Meheira l’Oro” and may our efforts at perception positively transform ourselves and the world around us.

  

What Really Happened at Mei Meriva?

It is one of the most mysterious and enigmatic stories in the Torah. We know the outcome: Moshe is barred from entering the Land of Israel. We know the technical chronology of events: The people are thirsty. Hashem tells Moshe to bring forth water from a rock by speaking to it. Instead, Moshe hits the rock and water flows forth. Then Hashem tells Moshe (and Aharon) that they missed an opportunity to sanctify God’s Name, and therefore they would not be allowed to enter the Land of Israel. But the question on everyone’s mind is: How could this happen? And why did this happen? There are hundreds (if not more) answers to this question and a similar number of approaches to this episode. Rashi suggests that while bringing forth water by hitting a rock is also a big miracle, Hashem wanted the miracle to occur specifically through speech to teach Bnei Yisrael the lesson that if even a rock listens to Hashem and His messengers, how much more so should each of us similarly listen to Hashem and Moshe. While it may seem like a minor deviation from the Divine plan, it was considered to be a major infraction for righteous individuals such as Moshe and Aharon. When I was a child this idea was explained to me by way of a parable about dirty shirts. If you’re wearing a red shirt and get a ketchup stain on it you may be able to continue your day without going home to change, because the stain can blend in with the color of the shirt. This is not the case if your white short gets stained. While for most people hitting the rock would be like getting ketchup on our red shirt, for Moshe and Aharon it was more severe: like getting a stain on a white shirt.

Another approach to the Mei Meriva episode is offered by the Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin (1816-1893), the last head of the Volozhin Yeshiva. The Netziv begins by noting that this episode took place after the Jews had been in the Midbar already for 39 years. During their time in the desert, Bnei Yisrael lived a life supported by overt miracles: protective clouds, a pillar of fire GPS system, manna from heaven, and a miraculous well that accompanied their journey in the merit of Miriam. Upon entry to Israel, the Jews would have to learn how to survive without these obvious miracles. Israel does not have a river upon which to rely for water, like Egypt has the Nile. If you need water in Israel you have to hope for rain; or more precisely, you have to pray for rain. In order to help wean the people off of overt miracles, Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock, but what He really wanted Moshe to teach the people was the importance of speaking to The Rock ie praying to Hashem for our needs. For whatever reason Moshe felt that the people were not ready to appreciate the power of prayer to bring about hidden miracles. So when the moment arrived, Moshe utilized his staff to bring forth water. As we know from Sefer Shemot, Moshe’s staff was the vehicle through which big, supernatural miracles happen. In so doing, Moshe missed out on an opportunity to teach the people an important lesson about prayer, a lesson that remains important for us today. The power of prayer is part of the natural order. Prayer is not something that we should consider miraculous. Rather, we should view tefilah as one of the ways in which we put in our effort, our hishtadlut, with the hopes that these efforts, both physical and spiritual, will be blessed by Hashem and met with success. 

Arguing for the Sake of Heaven

The Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (5:17) taught that a dispute that is “LeShem Shamayim” will have lasting results, while any dispute “Shelo LeSham Shamayim” will not have lasting results. The Mishnah goes on to give examples of both types of disputes: “Which is the controversy that is for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Hillel and Shammai. And which is the controversy that is not for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Korach and all his congregation.” Many commentators are confused by the example given of a machloket shelo leshem shamayim. The Mishnah only mentions one side of the dispute! Shouldn’t the Mishnah refer to the dispute as “Korach and Moshe”, thereby referencing both sides of the dispute? Rabbi Shimon Schwab explains that the hallmark of a dispute for the sake of Heaven is that the overarching interest is to arrive at the truth. Therefore each side is interested in hearing the arguments of the other side. However concerning a dispute that is Shelo L’Shem Shamayim the overarching interest is to be victorious and to be proven right. Arriving at the truth is much less important than winning the argument. In such a dispute, there is no interest in arriving at the truth, and therefore there is no interest in hearing a different perspective. A dispute not for the sake of Heaven doesn’t really have two sides. That’s why the example given of a machloket shelo leshem shamayim only references Korach and Korach’s followers; all of whom had the same perspective and the same opinion. There is no need to mention Moshe and Aharon because Korach and his followers were not interested in their position being challenged.

The Talmud (Brachot 58a) taught: “Just as people’s faces are different so too are their perspectives different.” Rabbi Shlomo Eiger explains that just as no one is bothered by the fact that people look different, so too we should not be bothered by the fact that people have different opinions. Just as each human being (with the occasional exception of identical twins) is unique in appearance, so too we should appreciate that people have different perspectives, opinions and ways of thinking. These differences should not be viewed as an unfortunate outcome but rather a reflection of Hashem’s will and the way He intends the world to operate.

It feels like just yesterday that we were in the throes of the 2020 presidential election. That election was one of the most divisive elections in the history of American politics. While we can point to legitimate differences of opinion between candidates and political parties, I believe that much of the rhetoric surrounding that election was a manifestation of disputes that were not for the sake of Heaven. Here we are again in the midst of the 2024 presidential election. We must become informed and educated on the issues and on the candidates. And we should remember to vote whenever we have the chance to do so- even in the primaries! But let us learn from the mistakes of Korach and his followers and avoid the impulse to argue merely to win. Let us be careful that our disputes are, in fact, for the sake of Heaven. 

 

Lessons from the Entebbe Rescue Mission

 This July 4^th marks the 48^th anniversary of the successful IDF raid on Entebbe and rescue of 102 passengers who were being held hostage in Uganda. There are many lessons that can be learned from Operation Entebbe. For us on this Shabbat Parshat Shelach, two of those lessons stand out.

First, the Entebbe mission teaches us that enemies of Israel may be able to hurt and impede us, but nothing and no one can prevent the realization of Jewish destiny. This was the mistake of the meraglim. After touring the Land of Israel, 10 of the 12 spies came back with negative reports. If we look closely at their report, it is all factually correct. The inhabitants of the land were giants. The cities were fortified. It was going to be difficult to conquer the land. But even though they may have been right about these details, the spies were still wrong in their unwillingness to factor into their equation the Hand of God and immutable power of Jewish destiny. As David Ben Gurion once quipped, “In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.” The same can be said about the ongoing continuity of the Jewish People.

Soon after the Entebbe rescue mission the Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote: “Here my thoughts turn to the recent miraculous rescue of the hostages from Uganda. One cannot fail to note the extraordinary aspects at both ends of the hijacking. On the one hand, the ease with which the four terrorists hijacked the airbus in Athens, and on the other, the extraordinary success of the rescue operation. In other words, both the initial crisis and the eventual delivery clearly point to the Hand of G-d.”

Second, the Entebbe rescue mission demonstrated Israeli risk-taking and initiative. As one military analyst noted the fact that the Entebbe mission was a success was not surprising as the Ugandans were outmatched in all ways according to all opinions. What was impressive was the “guts” demonstrated by Israeli leadership in ordering the command to do the right thing and get the job done. This is the lesson in Parshat Shelach that we can learn from Yehoshua and Kalev. These two meraglim understood and appreciated the role of the Divine intervention and Jewish destiny. However more important than this fundamental difference in religious outlook was their willingness to show the courage and resolve to speak up and say what was unpopular and what most people did not want to hear.

Ask anyone the names of the meraglim, and most people will first name Yehoshua and Calev. These two men were very unpopular in the moment ads they spoke out against conventional wisdom and forced the nation to confront ideas that they would have preferred to avoid. Yet they are the two men that history has proven to be correct and worthy of remembering. The other ten spies may be recorded in the Torah, but they have been forgotten by Jewish tradition. This came about due to Calev’s and Yehoshua’s willingness to be bold, to take risks, and to do what needed to be done.

Let us utilize this July 4th to recommit ourselves to learning the lessons of the Entebbe rescue mission, especially those that intersect with the story of the meraglim: Let us appreciate the need and the benefits of taking risks. Let us be willing to engage in bold initiatives and to say constructive things even when it may be unpopular. Let us always be willing to do what needs to be done. At the same time, we must never underestimate the Yad Hashem, the role of God in the unfolding Jewish story. If we are unsure of the effectiveness of our efforts, if we feel as if the Jewish cause is getting more complicated and the Jewish dream is moving further away, then let us be reassured in the knowledge that nothing can stop Jewish destiny.

Reading the Parsha with Fresh Eyes

The Talmud (Brachot 8) records that there is a mitzvah to review the weekly Parsha twice and to read its “Targum” (translation) once. This weekly rabbinic mitzvah is referred to as “Shnayim Mikra”. The Maharal explains that the reason why there is an obligation to review the weekly Parsha three times is because the Chumash records that the Torah was taught three times: At Har Sinai, at the Ohel Moed, and at Arvot Moav. The mitzvah of Shnayim Mikra is codified in Shulchan Aruch (OC 285). Here are a few of the halachot associated with this mitzvah: One can fulfill their obligation to read the Parsha a second time by reading along with the Baal Koreh on Shabbat morning. Instead of Targum Onkelos, one can review Rashi on the Parsha instead. According to the Taz, one may fulfill their mitzvah of “Echad Targum” with a traditional and authoritative English translation of the Parsha. Not all Poskim agree to this, and many require either Rashi or Onkelos (or both). Today one can use an English translation of Rashi on Chumash as their Targum. The timeframe for reviewing the Parsha begins on Sunday. Ideally one should finish reviewing the Parsha by the time one sits down to eat Shabbat dinner on Friday night. If one is not done by then, there are different opinions as far as the deadline for Shnayim Mikra. Some say it is Shabbat afternoon (when we begin reading next week’s Parsha), some say it is Wednesday of the next week, and some say that you have until Simchat Torah to complete the task (ie it’s viewed as an annual obligation and just must be completed before we start again from Bereishit). Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe OC 5:17) notes that the obligation of Shnayim Mikra applies even to those who learn Torah over the course of the week. Part of everyone’s Torah study schedule should include Shnayim Mikra. Rabbi Feinstein goes on to lament the fact that Shnayim Mikra is a mitzvah that has been neglected even by those who make Torah study a priority.

One of the benefits of Shnayim Mikra is that it affords us an opportunity to see new things in the Parsha and learn new lessons each year. For example, as I was reading Parshat Behaalotecha this past week I was struck by something that I had never noticed before. Soon after Bnai Yisrael left Har Sinai, they began to complain. Moshe turned to Hashem and expressed his feelings of exasperation of being overwhelmed by the needs of the people. Hashem tells Moshe to appoint 70 men to serve as religious leaders and to help lighten Moshe’s load. As I read about this episode I was reminded that this is not the first time Moshe was encouraged to delegate and to empower others who could help lead the nation. In Parshat Yitro we read that Moshe’s father-in-law was concerned about the system that existed at Har Sinai, whereby Moshe was the last and first address for all of the people’s problems and questions. Yitro encouraged Moshe to appoint many leaders and to establish a system of sharing the burden of serving the people. As I read about the appointment of the 70 elders I wondered: What happened to the system that was established by Yitro? The answer I believe (though I never noticed it before) is found at the end of Chapter 10. As he is leaving Har Sinai, Moshe invites his father-in-law to join the Jewish People as they travel to Israel. According to the pesukim, Yitro declined. We can imagine that once Yitro left, his recommendations for Moshe on how to delegate went by the wayside. That’s why it was necessary to create a new system of 70 Zekeinim to replace Yitro’s system of delegating. From here we can learn the challenge of maintaining change for the long term, especially when the initial impetus for that change is no longer present. Let us always be ready and willing to learn the Parsha each week with fresh eyes and a willingness to learn new lessons. 

Be on the Lookout for Blessings in Disguise

 In Degel Machaneh Ephraim the Baal Shem Tov's grandson says that God's blessings sometimes come in a form that we perceive as not welcome, and as a result, we may run away from them. The Torah assures us that the good that God intends for us will occur even if we try to avoid it. This is the meaning of the verse: “May goodness and loving-kindness pursue me all the days of my life” (Psalms 23:6). We pray that if, in our limited understanding, we try to avoid a concealed kindness, that it pursue and overtake us.

Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev once saw a person running in the marketplace. “Where are you running to?” he asked.

The man answered, “I'm running for my parnassah (livelihood).”Rabbi Levi Yitzchok said, “How do you know your livelihood is in front of you? Perhaps it is behind you and you are running away from it.”

What we think is a blessing may actually be bad for us, while what appears at first glance as a curse may be the best thing we could get.

Parshat Nasso contains the Birkat Kohanim, the blessing from Hashem to the Jewish People offered by way of the Kohanim. The blessing is referred to as the bracha hameshuleshet, a three-pronged blessing. The first blessing reads as follows:

“May Hashem bless you and safeguard you.”

Although there are two clauses in this statement, it is understood to be one blessing.

This first blessing is associated with material success. How might we understand the connection between the phrases “bless you” and “safeguard you”?

Rashi suggests that the first phrase means that Hashem should give us all that we need/ want. The second clause is the blessing that once we have it, no one should be able to take it away from us, ie Hashem gaurds it to insure it stays in our possession.

The Netziv offered a different perspective on the relationship between the phrases. He explains that sometimes what we thought would be a blessing ends up being a tremendous challenge. Wealth is a good example. People think, as King Solomon said, that money will answer all problems. Yet studies consistently show that wealth is not a good indicator of a person’s level of happiness. Wealth can be a great blessing- but it can also be a great challenge and the source of much strife. So in the first of the priestly blessings, we are blessed that what we thought would be a blessing- in fact should remain a blessing and be perceived as such by us.

The Netziv’s approach reminds us of an important fact of life: Sometimes what might be considered a great blessing can turn out to be a great challenge. Similarly, something that was considered to be a great challenge can very well turn out to be life’s greatest blessing.