The problem with asking for some peace

ועוד נדרש בו וישב ביקש יעקב לישב בשלוה, קפץ עליו רוגזו של יוסף.

When Jacob sought to dwell in tranquility, the troubles of Joseph sprang upon him

Rashi quotes this Midrash at the beginning of Parshat Vayeshev that seems critical of Yaakov’s desire for some peace and respite after many years of challenges and turmoil. The question that must be asked is: Why? What’s wrong with seeking some peace? Isn’t peace a great blessing that we seek for ourselves from Hashem?

I’d like to suggest an answer based on explanations that I recently read on the bleassing of “Birkat Hashanim” in our Amidah. This is a timely blessing to review since we will begin to say “V’tein Tal Umatar” beginning Saturday night with Maariv.

In that bracha we ask Hashem to bless “Et Hashana Hazot” THIS year, with prosperity. The problem is that we believe that one’s prosperity is set at Rosh Hashanah. So what are we asking for all year long?

The son of the Vilna Gaon explains that blessings can materialize in many different ways; some easier and some with more challenges. For instance, even if we have been decreed to receive the blessing of rain for the year- that blessing can manifest in a way that is easier- ie it rains at convenient times in proper amounts in the right locations. Or that blessing can materialize in more challenging ways. The lesson is that no blessing is unequivocal.

The Midrash is critiquing Yaakov for imagining that the blessing of “shalva” was unequivocally positive. It’s understandable that Yaakov thought so- after all he had experienced no peace and quiet for close to a quarter century. But even “Shalva” is only sometimes a bracha. I am reminded of what some of my “empty nester” friends will tell me when I appear haggard by the noise and mess that comes with the blessing of 4 energetic children. They will tell me that when the house empties and there is peace and quiet- I will miss the noise. (I try to keep that perspective in mind, instead of buying earplugs.)

Later in the bracha of Birkat Hashanim  we ask that God bless this year “Kashanim Hatovot” , “Like the good years”. The Siach Yitzchak explains this is meant to highlight for us the challenges that can accompany any blessing; specifically the challenge of ignoring God and thinking that our success is a result of our own efforts and cutting the Divine out of the picture. “Good Years” means a time in which we are the recipient of God’s blessings- and still remember where it all came from.

With this in mind, we can suggest a second aspect of the Midrash’s critique of Yaakov’s request for “shalva”. Shalva, like many blessings in life, cannot be viewed as an end onto itself. Peace and tranquility are blessings that enable us to accomplish and enjoy. Yaakov asked for “shalva” but viewed it merely as a respite from all of the challenges he had thus far experienced, instead of considering what he would be able to accomplish going forward with the gift of “shalva”

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The Midrash is teaching us the contours of a proper request for blessing. First, we must request with the understanding that no blessing is unequivocal. “Be careful what you pray for, for you might get it” is something we need to consider carefully. Second, we must view blessings not as a response/ reward for the past but as an opportunity and a means to propel us forward.