From Tragedy to Triumph

From Tragedy to Triumph

The Jewish world was captivated this week by the wedding in Jerusalem on Thursday of Sara Litman and Ariel Beigel. The wedding was postponed due to the murder of Sara’s father and brother, Rabbi Yaakov and Netanel Litman, on November 13. During shiva the young couple announced that the wedding had been rescheduled and all of world Jewry was invited to attend. Thousands of Jews, including many from overseas who flew in just for the occasion, waited for hours on line outside Jerusalem’s convention Center in order to dance at the wedding. 

(Read more about the wedding here)

What a tremendous demonstration of perseverance and the Jewish resolve to transform tragedy into triumph and life-affirming joy.

In Parshat Vayishlach we read of the birth of the youngest tribe and the death of Rachel:

And it came to pass, when her soul departed for she died that she named him Ben oni, but his father called him Benjamin.

יחוַיְהִי בְּצֵאת נַפְשָׁהּ כִּי מֵתָה וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ בֶּן אוֹנִי וְאָבִיו קָרָא לוֹ בִנְיָמִין:

All other 11 tribes- the mother named the child. Why should this child be different?

Ramban explains it is NO different than all of the other sons. Rachel called the child Ben Oni- and Yaakov called the child Ben Oni.

Rachel meant Ben Oni “son of my pain and mourning”

Yaakov meant ben Oni “son of my strength”- like the word Oni is used in Parshat Vayechi in Yaakov’s blessing to Reuven:

Reuben, you are my firstborn, my strength and the first of my might. [You should have been] superior in rank and superior in power.

גרְאוּבֵן בְּכֹרִי אַתָּה כֹּחִי וְרֵאשִׁית אוֹנִי יֶתֶר שְׂאֵת וְיֶתֶר עָז:

The word Oni can mean sadness and it can mean also strength. Yaakov says to Rachel, “you are right, his name is Ben Oni. But it means he is a son of strength” Binyamin is not a different name for the boy- His Name was Ben Oni. Binyamin is Yaakov’s interpretation of the name that Rachel initially gave him.

Ramban puts it beautifully:

“V’Aviv Asah Min Oni- Kochi”

Yaakov translated and transformed  Ben Oni as Binyamin, sadness and challenge - into strength.

Yaakov may have learned this attitude from Hashem, in an episode earlier in the Parsha: Before his reunion with Eisav we are told that Yaakov found himself alone and separated from his family. There he struggled with an Ish. There are different interpretations as to who was the Ish- was it Eisav’s Guardian Angel, was it an internal battle within Yaakov. In either case, Yaakov was confronted with a crisis. We read that Yaakov survives the crisis- but is permanently injured. But it is only in response to the struggle that Hashem gives him a new, more lofty name – Yisrael.

And he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, because you have commanding power with [an angel of] God and with men, and you have prevailed."

כטוַיֹּאמֶר לֹא יַעֲקֹב יֵאָמֵר עוֹד שִׁמְךָ כִּי אִם יִשְׂרָאֵל כִּי שָׂרִיתָ עִם אֱלֹהִים וְעִם אֲנָשִׁים וַתּוּכָל:

You, Yaakov have struggled, experienced pain and suffering yet you have persevered. Not only have you persevered, but you have grown as a result of the challenge. Hashem here teaches Yaakov- and us his descendants – the lesson that the greatest growth may result from the greatest crises.

The Vilna Gaon once said that if you want to know what your purpose in life is- don’t focus on what you’re good at, or on what comes easy to you. Think about your greatest challenges; for it is in confronting and growing from your biggest challenges that you will find why you were put in this world.

Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas write about the Crucibles of Leadership; one common trait found in all leaders is their ability to learn and grow from adverse situations and difficulties. It can be a major crisis or a moment in which they felt challenged- externally or from within.

All of us descendants of Yisrael are leaders. As Hashem declares when he confirms Yaakov’s name change later in this week’s Parsha (35:11)

And God said to him, "I am the Almighty God; be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a multitude of nations shall come into existence from you, and kings shall come forth from your loins.

יאוַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ אֱלֹהִים אֲנִי אֵל שַׁדַּי פְּרֵה וּרְבֵה גּוֹי וּקְהַל גּוֹיִם יִהְיֶה מִמֶּךָּ וּמְלָכִים מֵחֲלָצֶיךָ יֵצֵאוּ:

Let us learn the lesson of the name Yisrael, the lesson that Yaakov conveyed in his explanation of Ben Oni. Let us each in our own way Asah Min Oni- Kochi: appreciate the potential for renewed and expanded strength that exists in every challenge.