Quality Time Should Inspire Us Long After The Interaction

          In Parshat Vayigash we read about the reunion between Yosef and his family. After reuniting with his brothers, Yosef sent the brothers to bring back Yaakov and the rest of the family. The Torah tells us that at first Yaakov does not believe them that Yosef is alive. He is only convinced when:

וַיַּרְא אֶת הָעֲגָלוֹת אֲשֶׁר שָׁלַח יוֹסֵף לָשֵׂאת אֹתוֹ

and he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him

and only then:

וַתְּחִי רוּחַ יַעֲקֹב אֲבִיהֶם

the spirit of their father Jacob was revived

What was it about the wagons? Rashi explains that the wagons were a code that Yaakov understood could have only come from Yosef. The word for wagon- Agalah- is very similar to the word Eglah- as in Eglah Arufah, the ceremony undertaken when there is unsolved murder situated between two inhabited locations. Part of that ceremony entails the elders declaring their innocence from any culpability in that murder, and breaking the neck of an ox (eglah)..

          Is it really plausible that Yaakov, at over 100 years old and after 22 years would pick up on this slight hint that Yosef was dropping?

I say yes- for two reasons.

          First: This one-on-one Torah study time between Yaakov and Yosef was quality time- treasured by both father and son. That time together may not have been a lot, and it may not have been consistent.  But it is these moments between loved ones that stick in our memories and shape how we view ourselves and our relationships. The wagons reminded Yosef and Yaakov of quality time spent together, something that they would always remember and recognize.

          Secondly- let us take a moment to consider Rashi’s comments. The Agalah, wagon, reminded Yaakov of the Eglah Arufah. If we are correct that this study session symbolized quality time spent between Yaakov and Yosef, then the lesson of Eglah Arufah is most appropriate to be interjected into this episode. When a murder occurs between cities, leaders from both communities meet and declare that they did not neglect this victim. Had they been aware of his presence, they would have provided him provisions and accompany him at least partially along his way.

          Even if this traveler had not been accompanied the entire journey, his interaction with kind-hearted strangers would have allowed him to never feel alone, even as he took leave of his benefactors and undertook the solitary portion of his journey.

          By sending these wagons, Yosef is telling his father: “the quality time we spent together enabled me to feel your presence and your love even when we were separated and I was alone in Egypt.”  One of my most fervent prayers for my children is that they should always feel safe, loved and cared for- when I am around and even when I am not. In order for our spouses, friends and especially our children to feel safe, loved and cared for- when we are around and even when we are not- we must learn from Yosef’s wagons and invest in quality time with our loved ones. Just as quality time enabled Yaakov’s spirit to be revived at the end of the story upon his reunion with Yosef, so too may our efforts to invest in quality time nurture and revive our relationships with others.