YOLO and FOMO in Elul

 

A few years ago the Oxford English dictionary added the words YOLO and FOMO. YOLO is an acronym for “you only live once.”  YOLO can be understood as the basis of the mitzvah of ma’akeh, ie to build a fence around one’s roof. You only live once- so be sure to be careful.

Two examples of FOMO in this week’s Parsha

Chapter 24: If a man divorces his wife and she remarries, he cannot remarry her again. A couple may do this because they wonder if there is a spouse better out there, a classic repercussion of FOMO. The Torah frowns on such attitudes and thereof prohibits this behavior.

Also in this week’s parsha we find the command to remember what happened to Miriam. She contracted tzaraat because of what she said about Moshe. She wondered why Moshe lived a life different than hers. While there are many interpretations, it seems that part of Miriam’s downfall was her FOMO- fear of missing out on what Moshe had, instead of realizing that every person and situation is unique, and the important thing is to try and be the best you can be and not worry so much about others.

Both attitudes have potential negative outcomes. An attitude that You Only Live Once can be related to self-destructive behavior. It has become a very popular term on social media and often refers to doing something foolish or risky because after all, you only live once.

FOMO can lead to social angst. Those who are addicted to checking their internet or social media on a constant basis- may be suffering from FOMO. FOMO can lead to a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying event. It can make people obsess about what they’ve missed out on in the past and paralyze them as they worry about what they’ll be missing out when they make any decision or choose any path.

But there can be some positive applications for YOLO and FOMO. YOLO- you only live once, so make sure to use your time most efficiently and effectively. You only live once- so don’t push things off until tomorrow, because no one really knows how many tomorrows you actually have. YOLO- so make sure your impact on the world is a positive one.

Fear of Missing Out can be a powerful ingredient for change. We need not be afraid of missing out compared to other people’s lives, but rather a fear of missing out on our best life. If we consider the possibility that things can be better than they are today, then perhaps the fear of FOMO will help us to implement the changes we know we need to make.

It is not surprising that in a Parsha we always read in the month of Elul we find references to YOLO and FOMO. In preparation for the Yomim Noraim, the Days of Judgment, we are reminded once again (if we needed reminding) that you only live once, so make the most of it. Pirkei Avot states: A single moment of repentance and good deeds in this world is greater than all of the World to Come.

And the impetus for changing and improving can come from a healthy dose of FOMO- fear of missing out on living life to the max- in our relationships with each other and in our relationship with Hashem. Let us challenge ourselves to utilize YOLO and FOMO in a manner that leads to spiritual growth in this month of Elul and sets us on the right course as we head into Yomim Noraim.