It’s wonderful to have our son Yaakov home from Israel. In honor of his presence and in honor of Parshat Korach, I’d like to share with you an excerpt of a Dvar Torah that I wrote back in 2007.
My son was three and a half years old when the Brotherhood organized a trip to a Marlins game. I was excited at the prospect of taking my firstborn son to see America’s past time for his very first time. My expectations were high and I hoped that the memories of this evening would be priceless.
Everything was going well. We parked at Dolphin Stadium. I give Yaakov his ticket to hold. He handed it to the lady at the entrance gate. Upon reaching the gate we found out that there was a special promotion: The first 10,000 fans would receive a Marlins Replica 1997 Championship Ring. Luckily we got our rings before supplies ran out, and I thought to myself “this is the beginning of a great evening.” I started to plan out our schedule. We had an hour before Mincha. Should we go straight to our seats, or look around for the perfect souvenir- after all there’s no way Yaakov would come home from his first baseball game without a souvenir. I decided to first go to our seats.
And then it happened. My wonderful son whom I love dearly heard the loud voices coming from the PA system coupled with the noise from the largest High-definition jumbo-tron in America, and refused to enter the stadium. The more I cajoled and bribed him to enter the stadium, the more adamant he became not to do so. My next response was to get angry. That of course just made things a lot worse. As my son was crying that he wanted to go home, after being at Dolphin Stadium for no more than 12 minutes- I had an epiphany: This must be how Korach felt.
Korach had a lot going for him. He had a wife and children. According to the Talmud Korach was a very wealthy man. With so much in his favor, why did Korach feel the need for more? Why did he pick a fight with Moshe, and in effect with G-d, leading to disastrous consequences for himself and those around him?
The story of Korach is full of ambiguity. For example, what was Korach’s actual complaint?
Midrash Tanchuma writes that Korach’s criticism was directed towards Aharon and his argument was as follows: “If you, Moshe, are the king of Israel, then you should not have selected your brother Aharon as the High Priest.”
However, in providing background to Korach’s rebellion, the Midrash gives a different cause for Korach’s rebellion:
Midrash Tanchuma explains that Kehat, Korach’s grandfather, had four sons: Amram, Yitzhar, Chetzron and Uzziel. Kehat’s firstborn son was Amram, who was the father of Moshe and Aharon. As firstborn, Amram was entitled to a double portion of land. As the tribe of Levi would not inherit land in Israel, it therefore made sense to Korach that Amram should be bestowed with two positions of rank: namely, kingship, a role which was filled by Moshe, and the High Priesthood, filled by Aharon. However, there was another position of authority that had to be assigned, the prince of the Kehatite family. Korach expected to be appointed to this position. He was the son of Kehat’s second oldest son, Yitzhar. Korach was therefore shocked and thrown for a loop when Moshe appointed his cousin Eltzafan considering the fact that Eltzfan’s father, Uzziel, was the youngest of Kehat’s four children.
We can understand Korach’s expectations. But what happened when his expectations were not met? What happened when Korach was passed over and the position was given to his younger cousin? What happens when what we thought would happen or should happen does not actually pan out? What happens when your son wants to leave his first baseball game before your first bite of kosher hot dog?
Here is where Korach errs. In such a situation, disappointment is to be expected. Even a little bit of jealousy, some frustration and anger, though not good things, could have been expected and respected. But the Midrash describes Korach’s reaction. Korach said: “I will therefore rebel against Moshe and nullify his words.”
Some commentators see in the story of Korach a lesson in the power and danger of jealousy. I see within the story of Korach a failure to prepare for alternate outcomes. Even with everything that he had, Korach was unable to deal with the disappointment when his expectations were not met.
The story of Korach teaches us the need to be flexible. We must be able to handle unmet expectations in a productive and healthy manner.
That night 16 years agoat Yaakov’s first baseball game, my knee-jerk reaction was to refuse to admit that my expectations were going to go unmet. One option would have been to go to our seats and watch the game, even if doing so would have meant lots of kicking and screaming. Another option was to allow my sense of disappointment to express itself as anger. In that case, I would have immediately left the stadium, and dropped Yaakov off at home, vowing to never take him anywhere ever again.
Instead I took a deep breath (I need to do that more often), thought about Korach’s mistake and resigned myself to the fact that tonight’s outing would not be as I envisioned. I would let go of my expectations and enjoy the moment; I would defer to what my son wanted to do. So for two hours, we wandered the recesses of Dolphin Stadium; going everywhere except the inside of the actual stadium. We walked up and down the ramp. We walked back and forth from Section 125 to 145. We sat on the benches, ate dinner, and watched on the screens the game that was taking place inside the park.
At the end of the evening, one of my original expectations was met: Yaakov left with a souvenir. As for me- I left with a better appreciation for Korach’s error. I left with an understanding how important it is to effectively handle disappointment. I left with the memory of an evening with my son at the ballpark that was indeed priceless.
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