Talking to a Rock: Not as Bad as it Sounds

Our Parsha contains the mysterious events that transpired at Mei Meriva. After Miriam dies, the people are complaining again- this time because there is no water. Hashem tells Moshe to take the staff – and speak to the rock. Instead Moshe hits the rock, and water miraculously flows forth. While the people are happy- Hashem is angry; angry because Moshe did not do as he was told (and Aharon is faulted too- for not stopping Moshe?) Moshe and Aharon are punished harshly- they are denied entry into the Promised Land. One of the mysteries surrounding this episode is the initial Divine command: What’s the deal with talking to a rock? Of all possible manners to miraculously provide water at this juncture, why does God decide that it should come about as a result of speaking to a stone?

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein explained that this Divine command was meant to convey an important lesson for us all: Sometimes it feels like we’re talking to a rock. That our message is falling on deaf ears. Nonetheless we should appreciate the value in speaking up in these situations, for even when we speak to a rock water may flow forth- ie there may be some beneficial outcome. I’d like to share with you for your consideration three potential beneficial outcomes, even when we’re talking to a rock.

First, even if we think we are talking to a rock, our message may sink in and its impact will become visible over time. Thursday, 28 of Sivan, marked the (23^rd) yahrtzeit of Rav Yisroel Zev Gustman, a remarkable Torah personality, worthy of our attention and study. One of the more popular stories about Rav Gustman is how he and Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzinksy (the famed Dayan of Vilna) once went for a walk together to discuss Torah topics. Much to Rav Gustman's surprise, Rav Chaim Ozer was more interested in discussing nature. As they continued to walk through the fields, Rav Chaim Ozer would point to different plants, seemingly arbitrarily, and clarify which were poisonous and which were healthy. Rav Gustman was confused, and did not understand the lesson being taught. Soon thereafter, the horrors of the Holocaust forced Rav Gustman to spend two years in hiding, and managed to survive based on his Rebbi's insights on vegetation, that seemed so arbitrary at the time. Even when we talk to a seeming rock, the message may seep in and find expression later on.

Second, even when we’re talking to a rock, our words may be heard by others. For instance, when a teacher tells her class that during summer vacation they should all read 30 minutes per day, she knows that most of the class will not do so. For some of the students, this message is like talking to a rock. But others will listen and do the readings. Still others will hear their teacher stress the importance of reading and decide that they will partially fulfill the suggestion. And something is better than nothing. If nothing is said then nothing will be done. If something is said then at least it’s out there for people to consider. This is true concerning political advocacy, especially today regarding our efforts to bring attention to the plight of the kidnapped Israeli boys. The same is true of parents talking to their children- and rabbis talking to their communities. Issues must be raised and concerns must be expressed- even if to some it seems to be an exercise in speaking to a stone.

And lastly, even when we’re talking to a rock, our words can still strengthen our own resolve. A UCLA psychology study suggests that labeling one’s emotions at the precise moment one is confronting a fear, can make you less afraid and less anxious. 88 people who have a fear of spiders were divided into 4 groups and exposed to spiders – with the following instructions

One group was told to express their feelings of anxiety and fear before touching the spider.

A second group was told to use words that helped to make the situation less threatening, such as “this little spider can’t harm me”- the typical approach used for de-sensitization.

A third group was told to say something irrelevant to the spider situation and the fourth group was instructed to say nothing. The group that had the most significant decrease in their fear of spiders was the group that put into the words what it was they were feeling- to say it as they felt it, not as they wished they would see things.

Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock and it will flow forth water. From this story we learn that Hashem challenges us to speak up, even if it feels like all we’re talking to a rock. That rock may in fact be listening with the impact only visible in the future. And even if the rock cannot hear us now, others might hear us, and we need to hear ourselves. If we see the power of speaking up, even to a rock, then Hashem will hear our voice and bless our efforts.