Appreciating Family

 This year Chanukah falls out during the last week of December. This overlap will enable more Jews to have time off over Chanukah and spend time with family. In Parshat Vayeshev we are introduced to the friction and dysfunction that existed in Yaakov’s family- especially between Yosef and his brothers. I’d like to share with you a quote from Rav Soloveitchik that speaks to this idea (printed in Vision and Leadership: Reflections on Joseph and Moses)

“In my opinion, the basic mistake of the brothers was not jealousy. Rather, it was the lack of appreciation of one of the most precious gifts that the Almighty has granted humans: the sense of unity that members of a family feel for each other, a manifold ontological experience that expresses itself in love and devotion. Neither Joseph nor his brothers appreciated this great gift…It is the joy and experience of being together as a family, parents and siblings. I think of this during Yizkor, when those who have living parents leave the synagogue, and I am filled with envy, but I also regret that many do not appreciate their parents and “how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together.” Had Joseph’s brothers understood this, Jewish history would have taken on different dimensions, and our historical experience would be a different one.”

Rav Soloveitchik continues:

“Gratitude is a basic virtue in Judaism, and whoever proves to be an ingrate is punished. Indeed the punishment here was that the gift of unity was taken away from the person who failed to appreciate it. The sons of Jacob were very unhappy. They envied Joseph, for he had a multicolored coat; each one apparently thought that he would have been the happiest person if his father had given him the multicolored coat instead. They obsessed over this nonsensical thought without appreciating the real happiness of being together as twelve brothers. So they lost him. They did not appreciate each other; they did not bestow love and devotion upon each other; they were hostile to each other, there was a treasure within reach, and they did not appreciate the treasure.”

Rav Soloveitchik reminisces and shares a personal memory at this point:

“I remember when I was seven or eight, I saved up money to buy ice cream and I shared it with my brother. This is a memory that unites me with him. It did not unite me with my sisters, nor did it unite me with my youngest brother. And there are hundreds of memories like that. This common past is a tremendous bond.”

Finally, Rav Soloevitchik notes the significance of the fact that all Jews are considered brothers:

“As Jews, we have a living memory which spans centuries and millennia. We also have an awareness of a common destiny. The past is real to us; the future is also real- as real as the past. Basically, this memory of the past together with anticipation of the future are two experiences of brothers. And since jews are brothers, “Acheinu Kol Beit Yisrael” that is what unites us: the common past and the common future.”

As we plan for the upcoming holiday of Chanukah let us think about how we might celebrate with family (whether in person or remotely). Let us utilize Chanukah to strengthen our connections to our biological family as well as to our broader Jewish family. 

Leaning In to the Loneliness

 Who was the mysterious man with whom Yaakov struggled in Parshat Vaayishlach? Some suggest that Yaakov struggled with himself. Earlier, Yaakov stole Eisav’s blessings of prosperity and wealth. He fled his parents’ home as an innocent and pure yeshiva student. In the intervening years Yaakov experienced a lot and he changed a lot. He is now a wealthy head of a sizeable clan. As he prepares to be confronted by Eisav, Yaakov struggled with himself. Who had he become? Who was he really? Had the blessings he stole from Eisav changed him in ways that made him more like Eisav? The next morning Eisav finally confronted Yaakov. Instead of yelling at him or fighting with him, Eisav suggested that the brothers travel together. Eisav liked what he saw in Yaakov- which was not good news for Yaakov. It seems that Yaakov had good reason to be worried and to struggle with himself the night before the reunion.

Others suggest that Yaakov struggled with “Saro shel Eisav’ Eisav/ Edom’s guardian angel. During this struggle with the angel Yaakov was injured. In the morning, the angel wanted to flee but Yaakov, though injured, held on to his adversary and insisted that the angel bless him before leaving. The angel blessed him, and Yaakov limped away.

According to Hasidic thought, Yaakov brought a limp to Am Yisrael as a result of this incident that has stayed with us throughout time; and will stay with us until Moshiach. What is this limp? According to Kabalah Yaakov was injured in his attribute of Hod, which is majesty. Rav Moshe Weinberger explained that the injury to Am Yisrael’s quality of Hod finds expression in the Jewish People’s feelings of unbearable loneliness. The feeling of Levado (loneliness) that Yaakov felt is the feeling of Levado that we have felt acutely since October 7. The Jewish People feel a terrible sense of isolation, a feeling that we are in a fight against the entire world.

In his article in Commentary Magazine entitled “Splendid Isolation” John Podhoretz wrote that any time the State of Israel has used force in self-defense there have been warnings from “the international community” that Israel’s actions could lead to the Jewish State’s “isolation”. Israel’s isolation at the UN began immediately after Israel’s successful preemptive war in 1967. Ever since there has been a predictable pattern: Israel is attacked, Israel fights back, “the international community” warns Israel not to fight back too much or risk being “isolated”.

The threat of isolation is wearing away at some Jews and causing others to despair. This isolation is unjust, hypocritical and anti-Semitic. But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because Israel’s isolation is a not a defect, it is a feature. It is a feature of the fact that the Jewish State and the Jewish People have been chosen for a unique mission and therefore must remain alone.

Yaakov’s injury was caused by his insistence that he receive a blessing from the Saro Shel Eisav. This created his limp, but it also created a wound in the majesty of the Jewish People. This injury remains due to our desire to receive the validation of the “international community” Israelis and Jews around the world desperately want the world to validate our claims to “be a free nation in our national homeland” to quote Hatikva.

The Midrash teaches that Just as God is alone in this world, Vanisgav Hashem Levado, so too are we alone in this world, Veyavater Yaakov Levado. Even though there are billions of people on this planet, nevertheless when considering the Jewish People Hashem views the world as if it’s just Him and us. The majesty of the Jewish People is found in our understanding that we don’t depend on other nations; we only depend on Hashem.

Always Go Up on the Ladder of Life

 Two weeks ago crypto investor Justin Sun paid $6.2 million for a banana duct-taped to a wall, highlighting the soaring values of crypto and viral art. Sotheby’s auctioned off the infamous banana, titled “Comedian,” created by Italian artist and cultural prankster Maurizio Cattelan. “This is not just an artwork,” Sun said in a statement. “It represents a cultural phenomenon that bridges the worlds of art, memes, and the cryptocurrency community. I believe this piece will inspire more thought and discussion in the future and will become a part of history. I am honored to be the proud owner of this iconic work and look forward to it sparking further inspiration and impact for art enthusiasts around the world.”

“Comedian” shot to fame at its debut at Art Basel Miami Beach in 2019, priced at $120,000. The image of a banana duct-taped to a wall, and priced at six figures, went viral over social media and attracted such massive crowds that the work had to be removed. There were three editions of “Comedian” created and sold, with one going to the Guggenheim Collection thanks to an anonymous donor, and the other two purchased. The seller of the Sotheby’s banana had purchased it from one of the original buyers and was reselling it. For his $6 million, Sun will get a roll of duct tape, instructions on how to “install” the banana and (most importantly) a certificate of authenticity guaranteeing it as an original work of Cattelan’s. The banana is not included, since it will quickly rot and need to be constantly changed for display. Because the value of the banana is derived from the certificate, rather than the object itself, many in the crypto community likened it to an NFT. The seller, clearly understanding the appeal, accepted crypto as a form of payment.

Last Friday, a week after buying it, Sun ate the banana in a move he bragged about on social media.

"Many friends have asked me about the taste of the banana,"; Sun wrote in a post on X alongside a video of him eating the multimillion-dollar piece. "To be honest, for a banana with such a back story, the taste is naturally different from an ordinary one.” Sun wrote that as thanks to Shah Alam — the 74-year-old Bangladeshi fruit stand employee who originally sold the banana for just 25 cents — he would purchase 100,000 bananas to be distributed for free to Alam's customers. Speaking to the New York Times, however, Alam noted a number of logistical issues with Sun's proposal. The profit on bananas is relatively low, Alam told the paper — only about $6,000 on a purchase of 100,000 bananas. And Alam is an employee of the fruit stand, not its owner. His salary of $12/hour during his 12-hour workday, which affords him a shared basement apartment in the Bronx, would not be affected by a bulk novelty sale.

In Parshat Vayeitzei we read about Yaakov’s dream of a Sulam, a ladder, stretching from earth to heaven. The Baal Haturim notes that the Gemataria (numerical value) of the word Sulam is the same as mamon, money, and oni, poverty. A ladder can bring a person to great heights as well as to the lowest depths. That is why a ladder is a proper metaphor for both prosperity and poverty. Money has the ability to elevate a person if used for charity and good deeds. But money can also degrade a person if used to indulge one’s base desires. Poverty also is like a ladder. The Talmud (Eruvin 41b) teaches that a poverty-stricken person is vulnerable to sinfulness. On the other hand a person who “passes the test of poverty” is elevated in that his/her happiness and self-worth come from within and not from the size of their bank account. People who have little can live simpler lives, while feeling blessed and truly free. Both poverty and wealth can be a test. Whatever comes our way, let us utilize to move up the ladder, and never down.