This year Chanukah falls out during the last week of December. This overlap will enable more Jews to have time off over Chanukah and spend time with family. In Parshat Vayeshev we are introduced to the friction and dysfunction that existed in Yaakov’s family- especially between Yosef and his brothers. I’d like to share with you a quote from Rav Soloveitchik that speaks to this idea (printed in Vision and Leadership: Reflections on Joseph and Moses)
“In my opinion, the basic mistake of the brothers was not jealousy. Rather, it was the lack of appreciation of one of the most precious gifts that the Almighty has granted humans: the sense of unity that members of a family feel for each other, a manifold ontological experience that expresses itself in love and devotion. Neither Joseph nor his brothers appreciated this great gift…It is the joy and experience of being together as a family, parents and siblings. I think of this during Yizkor, when those who have living parents leave the synagogue, and I am filled with envy, but I also regret that many do not appreciate their parents and “how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together.” Had Joseph’s brothers understood this, Jewish history would have taken on different dimensions, and our historical experience would be a different one.”
Rav Soloveitchik continues:
“Gratitude is a basic virtue in Judaism, and whoever proves to be an ingrate is punished. Indeed the punishment here was that the gift of unity was taken away from the person who failed to appreciate it. The sons of Jacob were very unhappy. They envied Joseph, for he had a multicolored coat; each one apparently thought that he would have been the happiest person if his father had given him the multicolored coat instead. They obsessed over this nonsensical thought without appreciating the real happiness of being together as twelve brothers. So they lost him. They did not appreciate each other; they did not bestow love and devotion upon each other; they were hostile to each other, there was a treasure within reach, and they did not appreciate the treasure.”
Rav Soloveitchik reminisces and shares a personal memory at this point:
“I remember when I was seven or eight, I saved up money to buy ice cream and I shared it with my brother. This is a memory that unites me with him. It did not unite me with my sisters, nor did it unite me with my youngest brother. And there are hundreds of memories like that. This common past is a tremendous bond.”
Finally, Rav Soloevitchik notes the significance of the fact that all Jews are considered brothers:
“As Jews, we have a living memory which spans centuries and millennia. We also have an awareness of a common destiny. The past is real to us; the future is also real- as real as the past. Basically, this memory of the past together with anticipation of the future are two experiences of brothers. And since jews are brothers, “Acheinu Kol Beit Yisrael” that is what unites us: the common past and the common future.”
As we plan for the upcoming holiday of Chanukah let us think about how we might celebrate with family (whether in person or remotely). Let us utilize Chanukah to strengthen our connections to our biological family as well as to our broader Jewish family.
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