Be Careful with Your Excuses

 Midrash Rabbah (Vayikra 26) tells a story of how Hashem gave Moshe a “sneak peak” into the Jewish future and showed Moshe the main characters, both heroes and villains, of each future generation. Among the images Moshe was shown was the image of King Shaul, first king of Israel, lying next to his son Yonatan and both mortally wounded by Philistine swords. Moved by this vision, Moshe asked Hashem what Shaul had done to deserve such a heinous punishment. Hashem responded that Moshe could talk to the Kohanim (the tie-in with the first words of this week’s Parsha: Emor El HaKohanim) and the Kohanim would tell you that Shaul was liable for a harsh punishment due to his role in the massacre at Nov, a city of Kohanim (as described in Shmuel I: 6). Many have a hard time understanding this midrash. They point out that later in Shmuel I:15 we read how Shaul leads the battle against Amalek. While the prophet told Shaul to destroy everyone and everything associated with Amalek, King Shaul spared Agag, the king of Amalek. The prophet Shmuel confronts Shaul about this lapse and subsequently tells Shaul that he will be punished due to this sin of omission. If The Navi himself says that Shaul is punished for sparing King Agag, then how can the Midrash say that Shaul is punished for destroying the city of Nov? Rabbi Frand quotes an answer from the Sefer HaDrash VehaIyun. It is true that Shaul was punished for sparing the life of King Agag. However Shaul, or his defenders, could have justified his doing so by arguing that Shaul naturally had a soft heart. The argument could have been that Shaul was too compassionate and therefore could not bring himself to slay the Amalekite king. While such a defense would not have completely exonerated Shaul (after all, he still was in violation of a prophetic demand) it could have nonetheless mitigated his sin and softened his punishment. However the massacre at Nov shut down the possibility of any such defense. Shaul demonstrated at Nov that he did not naturally have a soft heart. His sin of sparing Agag was NOT due to an innate sense of compassion; it was completely unjustified and therefore liable for the full brunt of his deserved punishment.  This explanation is something that we need all need to seriously consider and confront in our own lives. There are times in life when we do not live up to the Torah’s expectations or even to our own expectations. Sometimes we will make a compelling excuse for why we did not live up to those expectations. The Midrash is cautioning us to be honest with ourselves about the veracity of those justifications. For instance, a person may justify not volunteering to do chesed because they claim that they have no free time. If that is indeed the case, then perhaps that is a valid justification. However if they find time to engage in leisure or social activities, then that justification becomes suspect and perhaps even an indictment. A person may explain their lack of attendance at minyan or at shiurim is due to a lack of time and conflicting responsibilities. That might be a valid justification. However if that person finds the time for other discretionary activities, like going to the gym or getting together with friends, then their justification should be reevaluated. Just as we feel a need to find the time to work out our bodies, so too we should feel the need to work out our minds and our souls. Just as we feel the need to connect to friends, so too we should feel the need to connect to Hashem and to Am Yisrael. The Torah does not expect us to be superhuman. There are times when we may be exempt from one priority due to our responsibilities towards other priorities. The Midrash at the beginning of Emor reminds us that this only works when we are honest with ourselves and when we have given serious thought to what our life priorities should be.