What We Create on Rosh Hashanah is Real and Permanent

Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon zt’l in his book with Hearts Full of Faith tells the story about Yom Kippur with the Mir Yeshiva during World War II when they were in Shanghai, China. It was unusual due to the location but also exceptional in terms of the kavanah and prayer atmosphere. Towards the end of the day, right before Neilah, Rav Yechezkel Levenstein, the Mirrer Mashgiach, shared the following idea that I believe can be useful for us as we embark on our journeys into Rosh Hashanah and through Aseret Ymei Teshuva.  He explained how many of the students present were probably thinking that this moment of inspiration will pass. Tomorrow we will slip from the high place onto which we have climbed today. “So what did we accomplish? What was the use?” you might ask. Rav Levenstein answered by way of a parable: "There was once a man who built himself a beautiful mansion. During the celebration upon finishing the mansion, he decided that he would climb up and place a beautiful ornament on the top of the roof. That great day came when he finished his mansion, and he made a special celebration and invited all his friends and family. The moment came when he climbed up to the roof to place the beautiful ornament. But just at that moment, a sudden gust of wind blew him off the roof. He dropped the ornament and fell to the ground. Dazed and in agony, he cried out, 'Oy, my mansion has fallen down. My mansion has fallen down.' His friends and family reassured him, 'Your mansion hasn't fallen down. You have. You may have broken bones and have to go to the hospital. But when you recover the mansion will still be there. You'll be able to go into it. It hasn't fallen down.” Rav Chazkel concluded, "My dear children, we built a mansion over the Yomim Noraim. Every prayer that we offered up is like a different room, and all together we have constructed a beautiful mansion. If tomorrow we feel that we have lost some of our inspiration, I want you to know that the mansion hasn't fallen down. It will be we that have fallen down. The mansion will still be standing. It will stand forever. One day, we will enter that mansion once again. When and how, that depends on us, but the mansion will always be there waiting for us. It will be there forever." Rabbi Salomon reflected on this story and wrote, "Rav Chazkel's words of encouragement to his students in the heat of a world war are an important lesson to all of us. When we stand in the shul and prepare to pray to G-D, the thought can sometimes be so intimidating that we may lose heart. We know that it will take so much emotional and spiritual effort to reach the highest level of prayer that we aspire to. Who knows if we will be successful? And even if we are, will we be able to maintain ourselves on that high level? Or will we fall back to earth, so to speak? And if we do, is all the effort worthwhile? The answer is, yes, most definitely yes. All the effort is indeed very worthwhile, because every transcendent prayer builds us a beautiful mansion. And no matter what happens, that mansion will endure forever." Davening on Yomim Noraim sounds different, looks different, and feels different. We are probably not in our usual seats nor our usual Shabbat location. Beyond that we may worry that any connection or growth that we feel over Rosh Hashanah will be fleeting. If we feel that, let us remember the story of Rav Levenstein. What we do and create over Rosh Hashanah is real and permanent and can never be undone or taken away.  Over this upcoming Tishrei season Let us try to build as beautiful a mansion as we can. In this merit, Hashem should inscribe us in the Book of Life for a healthy, happy and sweet New Year.

If We Can’t Move On, We can Still Move Forward

 One of the most notable, yet not well known, acts of valor that occurred on September 11, 2001 was the maritime evacuation of Lower Manhattan. It was the largest water evacuation in American history.  500,000 people were transported to safety in approximately nine hours by hundreds of vessels that answered a call from the U.S. Coast Guard to converge on New York Harbor to aid in the evacuation. In her book, Rebecca Solnit quotes Professor Charles Fritz who helped lead the University of Chicago’ Disaster Research Project in the 1950’s. While conventional wisdom was that disasters bring out the worst in people (think looting or better yet hoarding hand sanitizer) the opposite is much more common. “The widespread sharing of danger, loss and deprivation produces intimate primarily group solidarity among the survivors, which overcomes social isolation, provides a channel for intimate communication and expression, and provides a major source of physical and emotional support and reassurance.” Survivors often feel “a feeling of belonging and a sense of unity rarely achieved under normal circumstances. Everyone understands that this intense solidarity and altruism is but a “temporary utopian society”. Nonetheless it teaches us something important about the human ability to respond to challenges in positive ways. After the utopia wears off, many people go back to relative normalcy. For others survivors, the events of 9/11 continue to challenge them – even 24 years later. One such person is Virginia Buckingham. She was the head of Boston’s Logan Airport on 9/11, the origin of the two planes that crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City. After 9/11 many people, including the media, politicians and some families of victims, wanted to blame Logan Airport and Buckingham specifically for a “failure to prevent” the terrorists from boarding their flights. Never mind that this was pre- TSA, when the airlines were responsible for safety measures at the terminal. Never mind that the focus at airports was on customer service (you could get to the airport 30 minutes before departure), not security. Never mind that Logan’s security was the same, or better, than the security at all other US airports. In the aftermath of an unprecedented catastrophe people want to find a scapegoat, someone that they can blame. The thinking goes that if we find someone to blame we can feel more secure that the problem can be solved, we do not have to worry about it happening again and we can go back to their lives as before. Soon after the attacks Buckingham was asked to resign. She was sued individually by a couple of families who wanted to find her personally responsible. This led Buckingham to question herself: Maybe I am guilty. Maybe I should have known about the threat and stopped them from happening. In her memoir On My Watch, Buckingham tells her story of trauma, grief, depression and resilience.  She warns us about the tendency and dangers of scapegoating (good Yom Kippur topic). Ultimately the 9/11 Commission found that Logan Airport was as secure as every other US airport. Both the airport and Buckingham were blameless, and the lawsuits were dismissed. However that did not lead to Virginia immediately forgiving herself and moving on. In fact, as she puts it, she can never move on, only move forward. She does not expect to ever fully recover from her experience. She hopes that she can use those experiences to grow and become a better person. Buckingham lives in the coastal town of Marblehead MA. Due to her many walks along the shore she came to see herself like a piece of sea glass. “Sea glass comes from a broken bottle that the sea has tossed about. It’s completely unrecognizable from what it started as. But it still has value. It’s still beautiful.” These are valuable thoughts as we engage in the challenging yet worthwhile work of Elul and prepare for Yomim Noraim.

Putting Praise into Proper Perspective

 In Parshat Ki Teitzei the Torah says, ווְלֹֽא־אָבָ֞ה ה אֱ-לֹהֶ֨יךָ֙ לִשְׁמֹ֣עַ אֶל־בִּלְעָ֔ם וַיַּֽהֲפֹךְ֩ ה אֱ-לֹהֶ֧יךָ לְּךָ֛ אֶת־הַקְּלָלָ֖ה לִבְרָכָ֑ה כִּ֥י אֲהֵֽבְךָ֖ ה אֱ-לֹהֶֽיךָ: But the Lord, your God, did not want to listen to Balaam. So the Lord, your God, transformed the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord, your God, loves you. The difficulty with this Pasuk is that in Parshat Balak, we find no reference to any curse uttered by Bilaam that God would have had to reverse into a blessing. Balak, the King of Moav, wanted Bilaam to curse the Jews; but Bilaam only managed to express blessings before Balak fires him. Taking note of this difficulty, Rabbi Yochanan in Masechet Sanhedrin (105b) teaches us: “From the blessings pronounced by that wicked man (Bilaam), you can deduce what was actually in his heart.” Some understand Rabbi Yochanan to mean that Bilam actually wanted to say the opposite of the blessing that emerged from his mouth. But what if Bilaam’s evil intent was predicated on actually saying blessings? Praise can be given with two different intentions. I can give praise that encourages the recipient to strive and want to do better. Or I can give praise that causes the person to feel that they have no reason to work any harder. Psychologists today are concerned that in America we are raising a generation of over-indulged children. One of the symptoms they see is parents who are prone to over-praise. Although it may come from noble and loving motivations, over-praise can backfire and make the child addicted to praise. It can give that child an unrealistic notion of his own capacity and talent. It can also lead a child to reason that she does not need to strive for improvement, because praise will be offered regardless. Bilaam as a prophet understood that praise can be extremely motivating or extremely harmful. His words were meant to lull Bnei Yisrael into a sense of complacency. There was no accompanying call to action or improvement within Bilaam’s blessings. It is when people feel that there is nothing more to achieve that they are most prone for complacency and failure. Through his blessings, Bilaam was attempting to convince Bnei Yisrael that they have already achieved far beyond what was to be expected of them. Inherent within Bilaam’s supposed blessing is the message that they were fine just as they were, even if they did not improve anymore, and even if they slacked off a bit. As we guard ourselves against the repercussions of over-praising we must be careful not to go to the other extreme. A few years ago parents in Nashville Tennessee complained that schools were publicizing the names of students who made honor roll or attained other academic achievements. They were concerned that the publicity would harm the self-esteem of some of the non-honor students. A school attorney found an old Tennessee state law that prohibits the release of a student’s academic records without parental consent. In response, the schools stopped publicizing the honor roll. One school refused to publicize the name of their Spelling Bee winner. A principal was not allowed to release the names of the high scorers from a school basketball game. In the end sanity prevailed, and Nashville schools once again publicize honor roll students- only now it is only with a parent’s permission. We must be on guard for excessive praise, but we should also be wary of any effort that seeks to overemphasize all achievements or to ignore all of them equally. According to this philosophy, either everyone gets praised or nobody does. This is an incorrect and potentially dangerous and demotivating philosophy. As the story of Bilaam taught, the way one praises/ blesses others indicates our true feelings for that person. Let us be careful that our praise – for ourselves, our shul and each other- be heartfelt, realistic, and used as motivation for reaching even greater achievements.

Elul Encouragement: Shofar Then L’Dovid

 Two of the well-known customs during the month of Elul are performed one right after the other at the end of Shacharit services: the blowing of the shofar and the recitation of Tehillim Chapter 27 “L’Dovid Hashem Ori”. Of the two customs, shofar blowing during Elul is more established and referenced earlier and more often in books of Jewish law. Due in part to its more established status, some Rabbis believed that the proper order of operations is to recite Psalm 27 first and end services with the sound of the shofar. Although this makes a lot of sense and would seem to be a more dramatic way to end services, it is not the customary order of operations in most synagogues, including ours. We blow the shofar and then recite “L’Dovid”. We can get a better understanding of why we do what we do by briefly reviewing the reason for each custom.  The Tur (O.C 581) quotes Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer to explain why we blow the shofar in Elul. Historically, Moshe broke the first set of tablets on the 17^th of Tammuz. After praying for the People’s forgiveness, Moshe was finally ready to ascend Mt. Sinai again to receive the second tablets on the first day of Elul. On that day, the shofar was sounded as a warning to the Jewish People not to make the same mistake this time around. In effect, the sound of the shofar during Elul is a reminder of how very difficult it is for human beings to change their ways. The sin of the Golden Calf was a once-in-history type of event. And yet, as Moshe ascends Mt Sinai to receive the second tablets the shofar is sounded to remind the Jewish People not to make that mistake again. When we hear the shofar, we too are being challenged to change our ways and perspectives. But we are creatures of habit. If the Jews who erred and were forgiven for the sin of the Golden Calf were suspected of not changing, what hope can we have? That is why we recite Tehillim Chapter 27 after the shofar blasts. As King David writes in this Psalm, Hashem is our light and our salvation. Teshuva may be difficult, but if we put our trust in Hashem then it is well within our reach. During the month of Elul, Teshuva is the natural outcome if we heed the call of the shofar and understand “L’Dovid Hashem Ori” as both a note of encouragement as well as a call to action.

Feeling Our Excitement in Life- In Torah

 Children often cannot see the benefits or detriments of their behaviors. Explaining to them why it is good or bad for them will fall on deaf ears. The future consequences of their behaviors and actions may be abstract and beyond a child’s ability to comprehend. That is why parents and teachers must often use concrete rewards and punishments in real time in order to help a child make good choices and begin to appreciate what they should be doing and what they should not be doing. For example, a parent might bribe a child with candy to go to a doctor’s appointment without putting up a fight- even though healthcare is good for that child. And a parent might punish a child if they run into the street unaccompanied in a way that the child will easily comprehend (like no dessert) because it is difficult for that child to appreciate the danger and error of their actions. We would hope that once that child reaches adulthood they no longer require these external motivators in order to do the right thing and to avoid bad things. However the reality is that humans never fully grow out of this quirk. We often engage in behaviors that are clearly bad for us- whether they are bad for our health or damaging to our neshamas. And even if we know something is good for us or the right thing to do, we may be averse to engaging in those activities if it requires a lot of effort or if it’s not enjoyable. The Torah was aware of this human quirk. That is why even after impressing upon us that keeping Torah is objectively beneficial and that straying from the Torah’s ways is objectively detrimental, Moshe is forced to succinctly articulate this truth. At the beginning of Parshat Reeh Moshe tells the people: “Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse. The blessing, that you will heed the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today; and the curse, if you will not heed the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn away from the way I command you today, to follow other gods, which you did not know.” If we don’t keep Torah and mitzvot because we appreciate their value, then we should do so because otherwise we will experience a curse- i.e. negative consequences. The pesukim use the word “today” both in regards to the blessing as well as the curse. Rashi (later in Devarim) explains that we should experience a Torah lifestyle with the freshness and excitement as if it is new to us today and every day. The Chasam Sofer asked: How does this comment of Rashi explain why the word “today” is found in regards to the curse? The Chasam Sofer explained that human nature is to need excitement and to seek it out. If a person does not find that sense of excitement, wonder and satisfaction within a Torah lifestyle then they will be compelled to seek those feelings elsewhere. It is not surprising that throughout history, less affiliated and non-observant Jews are often at the forefront of new political, social and economic movements. Instead of finding a sense of wonder and amazement within Torah – they look elsewhere. This can also explain why so many Jews who have not been exposed to the beauty of Torah, look to other spiritual traditions (such as transcendental meditation, Buddhism etc) in an attempt to nourish that void in their soul. If you are reading this message it means that you are inclined to seek inspiration and meaning from Torah and Jewish tradition. We can never take that for granted. We cannot allow our Jewish practice, identity, or pride to ever get stale. If we do, we risk looking elsewhere and turning away from the source of blessings.

The 4 Ingredients in Nurturing Jewish Identity

 Like many families, all of my children participated in Jewish summer programs this summer; two as counselors and two as campers. Anecdotes indicate, and studies have confirmed, the power of immersive Jewish experiences on shaping Jewish identity and promoting Jewish pride. Many Jewish youth will participate in formal Jewish activities with a frequency and intensity that parents don’t always see from their child at home or in school; such as daily tefilah/ attending minyan, participating in Torah study sessions, and singing/ dancing to Jewish songs. It is as if summer camp can take a child out of his/her element and preconceived notions and allow them to be more connected to their neshamas in an authentic way, without any being self-conscious or worrying about “what other kids might say”.  Over the years parents have approached me with concerns about the development of their child’s Jewish identity. Inevitably my response would include my opinion that there are three primary contributors to a child’s Jewish identity: School, Shul and Home. Both School and Shul provide outlets and opportunities to cultivate a child’s literacy, identity and sense of belonging. But it is ultimately a parent’s responsibility to ensure that their child participates and takes advantage of the opportunities afforded by Shul and School. It is also important for parents to realize that they are the primary role models for their children. Parents are children’s first teachers and primary role models. We must embody the values and observances that we want our children to internalize. In addition to Shul, School and Home one can argue that summer camp is the fourth leg that helps solidify and strengthen Jewish identity. But if someone does not attend Jewish summer camp (and even for those who do) there is great value in incorporating immersive Jewish experiences into our lives. This can be accomplished outside of the summer and can be provided by other organizations, including Shul and School.  And we can all benefit from immersive Jewish experiences, even those of us too old to attend summer camp.  Parshat Eikev contains the second paragraph of the Shema. The pasuk states (11:19): “And you (plural) must teach your children to speak these words of Torah.” Britain’s Chief Rabbi Mirvis explains that this verse is a mandate on the Jewish community as a whole to ensure that there are institutions in our community, such as schools, shuls and summer camps that are tasked with educating the next generation of Jews and helping them connect to their Jewish identity. The Torah continues in the singular – you (in the singular) must speak these words of Torah, “when you are sitting in your home, when you are on the way, when you get up and when you lie down.” The Sefer Menachem Tzion teaches us that from here we learn that what children are taught in school needs to be matched by the home environment. So when we are sitting at home, when we are engaged in our daily pursuits, when we are also on our way outside of our home when we’re at work, when we are on a family vacation, we should be living a true and authentic Torah way of life, just as our children have been taught about when they are in school, shul and summer camp. One way for parents to fulfill this mandate is by bringing our children to shul for experiential activities and events that promote these values. One event that I want to bring to your attention is Musical Hallel and Breakfast, presented by the shul and the Youth Department, scheduled for Rosh Chodesh Elul- Sunday August 24. Minyan in the Sanctuary will begin at 9 AM (musical Hallel will begin at approximately 9:30 AM) Breakfast will be served in the Social Hall following minyan. Adults, children and families are invited to attend, and sponsorship opportunities are available (contact me for sponsorship information). This will be a great way to start your Sunday, a great way to start Rosh Chodesh, and a great opportunity for us to live our values and to instill them into the next generation

Minority Influence

 Psychologist Serge Moscovici studied a phenomenon that he called “minority influence.” Usually in society we expect the majority to influence and change those who are fewer in number. But sometimes the reverse happens. The Suffragette movement in early 20^th century America is an example of minority influence ultimately leading to the right to vote for women. After conducting numerous studies Moscovici identified a number of factors that lead to successful minority influence. Among those factors are:

1. Consistency: the opinion being expressed by the minority must remain consistent
2. Confidence in the correctness of the ideas being presented by the minority
3. The minority must appear to remain unbiased, ie a willingness to hear out the other side of the argument
4. Resisting social pressure to change

22 months into the Gaza War, I believe Israel and her supporters have possessed these four criteria:

1. Consistently explaining the justness of the war and why the onus for the current toll of human suffering falls on Hamas.
2. Confidence in the justness of the operation to protect Israeli civilians
3. Regretting the loss of non-combatant lives in Gaza, and willing to investigate specific unfortunate incidents (while remaining steadfast and clear that ultimate responsibility lies with Hamas)
4. Resisting the tremendous pressure to stop the war prematurely with Hamas still in power and promising to repeat the atrocities of October 7 as often as they can.

In Vaetchanan, Moshe reminds Bnai Yisrael of their special relationship with Hashem (7:6):“For you are a holy people to Hashem; He has chosen you to be for Him a treasured nation above all the peoples on the face of the Earth.” Moshe continues (7:7): לֹ֣א מֵֽרֻבְּכֶ֞ם מִכָּל־הָֽעַמִּ֗ים חָשַׁ֧ק ה בָּכֶ֖ם וַיִּבְחַ֣ר בָּכֶ֑ם כִּֽי־אַתֶּ֥ם הַמְעַ֖ט מִכָּל־הָֽעַמִּֽים “Not because you are the most numerous nation did Hashem choose you, for you are the fewest of all the nations.” Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explained that Hashem’s choice of a nation few in number is God’s way of teaching the lesson of minority influence; that one need not be numerous in order to be great. Nations are not judged by their size but by their contributions to civilization. Our focus should not be on numbers but the power and potential impact that each individual possesses to transform the world for the better. Israel is a very small country and yet it is a very powerful country. The Jewish State garners a disproportionate, and unfair, amount of attention. This is the challenge of being Me’at, few yet important on the world stage. I believe that there is another lesson to be learned from our dual status as chosen and few in number: And that is that truth and righteousness is not necessarily determined by a majority. It is determined by objective morals and values as received in the Torah, even when those positions are contrary to what most of the world believes. Israel is not purposefully starving Gazan children, even if that is what many media outlets are saying. Recognition of a Palestinian State as a response to the war in Gaza is inappropriate, even if many western countries are planning to do so. Ki Atem Hameat mikol Haamim. Instead of lamenting our numbers, let us remember that Hashem chose us, not necessarily in spite of our small size, but because of it. Let us appreciate the possibility of minority influence and appreciate our Me’at status to better ourselves and the world around us.