The following sermon was delivered on Parshat Toldot 5769, the day after the murder of the Chabad Shluchim to Mumbai, India by Islamic terrorists.
After
Yaakov gets the blessings that his brother wanted, Eisav plots to murder
Yaakov. Rivkah is informed of Eisav’s plan and sends Yaakov to her brother
Lavan’s house so that Eisav has time to cool down. Once Eisav forgets a little,
Rivkah promises that she will send for Yaakov. The purpose of this plan is as
Rivkah puts it.
לָמָה אֶשְׁכַּל גַּם שְׁנֵיכֶם יוֹם אֶחָד:
“Why should I be bereaved of
you both in one day?”
Rashi explains the
utilization of the word “Eshkal” and writes:
| Why should I be bereft: Heb. אֶשְׁכַּל. I will be bereft of both of you. [This teaches that] one who buries his children is called שָׁכוּל, bereft. And so, concerning Jacob, it is said (below 43:14):“As I am bereft (שָׁכֹלְתִּי), I shall be bereft (שָׁכָלְתּי).” | | למה אשכל: אהיה שכולה משניכם. הקובר את בניו קרוי שכול. וכן ביעקב אמר (להלן מג יד) כאשר שכלתי שכלתי: |
“One who buries his children is
called bereaved.
Today we note with sorrow the
bereaved parents of those Jews murdered by terrorists in the Chabad House in
Mumbai India.
Among the dead are the Chabad shalichim to Mumbai, Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, age
30 and his wife Rivkah, age 28 whom we mentioned earlier in the Kel Malei
prayer. In 2003, Rabbi Holtzberg and his wife left New York to run the Chabad center known as
the Nariman House in Mumbai, where they managed a synagogue and led religious
classes and other social and outreach activities at the center.
Things like this are
not supposed to happen. A couple sacrifices the familiarity and comforts of
their homes to serve the Jewish community in a far flung location and share
their passion – only to become sacrifices themselves, dying Al Kiddush Hashem.
In the early hours of the attack, the news reported that this was an attack on
the financial infrastructure and neighborhood of Mumbai. In the aftermath, it
has become very clear that Jews and Israelis and the Chabad House were
specifically targeted in this attack.
The
Hotzberg’s two year old son Moishy, was also inside the Chabad Center
when the terrorists attacked. He was miraculously saved by the center’s cook
who was able to escape from the Chabad House during the siege. Moishy is now in
the custody of his grandparents from Israel, his second birthday is
tomorrow. The news sources are reporting that the young boy keeps asking for
his mother. We too have some questions that we just can’t shake and yet we know
we won’t find satisfying answers.
At
the beginning of the Parsha, we read that the precipitating event that leads to
the sale of the birthright was that Yaakov was cooking lentils. The Medrash
explains that Avraham had just died and Yakaov was preparing the first meal for
his father who was now an Avel.
And why are lentils an appropriate food for mourners? Rashi quotes two
answers.
ולמה עדשים, שדומות לגלגל שהאבלות גלגל החוזר בעולם
“For they resemble a sphere-
and mourning is a sphere that makes a circuit in the world.”
Although technical mourning
practices are only customary for specific close relatives, the impact of a
death reverberates among a much wider audience, including those who personally
knew the deceased or those who were affected by that person either directly or
indirectly. When people are killed because they are Jewish, the mourning and
its effects are felt by all Jews across the entire world.
On Friday I officiated at a funeral at which the burial
took place in a different location than the chapel service. I rode with the
family to the cemetery and when we arrived we had to wait a few minutes while
some paperwork was being filled out in the office. As we were all standing in
the small business office a woman approached the entrance, in need of
directions to a plot. Among our group for the burial were three Rabbis. The
woman looked at the Rabbis and then walked back to her car. At that point I
overheard her say, “it looks like it’s busy in there. I don’t know with what,
but maybe it has something to do with what happened today. Let’s wait a few
minutes, or maybe there’s someone else we can ask.
It was then that I received my first update of the Mumbai
situation since the night before. It was also at that point that I realized
that it is a natural reaction for Jews in the worst of times to feel as if
“we’re all in it together.” That woman may have never learned the Talmudic
statement of “Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh B’Zeh” All Jews are responsible for one
another. She may have never come across the Midrashic statement that Bnei
Yisrael act “K’Ish echad B’Lev echad”. But she did something more important-
she lived this reality. If there is tragedy within the Jewish community it
affects all of us in a profound way.
The second reason suggested by Rashi as to why lentils are
offered to mourners is because:
ועוד מה עדשים אין להם פה כך האבל אין לו פה שאסור לדבר. ולפיכך המנהג להברות את האבל בתחלת מאכלו ביצים שהם עגולים ואין להם פה, כך אבל אין לו פה
“Just as lentils are round
and have no mouth, so too the mourner has no mouth for he is forbidden to
speak.”
We suggest that mourners
exercise a degree of verbal restraint and silence in the face of their personal
tragedy, lest they think or say or do something that they will regret later.
The response of silence is especially necessary in the face of a collective
tragedy. Our words must be directed towards remembering and comforting and not
in trying to get the answers to why did this happen or how could this happen.
(Those who come to comfort mourners as well, need to exercise verbal restraint, as described by Erica Brown in her essay in this week's Jewish Week)
In addition to the therapeutic effects of silence in the
face of tragedy, our Parsha also describes three situations in which people had
to deal with difficult questions.
Towards the beginning of the Parsha, when Eisav is
contemplating whether to sell his birthright to Yaakov he says,
וַיֹּאמֶר עֵשָׂו הִנֵּה אָנֹכִי הוֹלֵךְ לָמוּת וְלָמָּה זֶּה לִי בְּכֹרָה:
“What profit shall the
birthright be to me?
When Eisav cannot think of
any positive answer to this question right away, not only does he sell his
birthright but the Torah goes further to say,
וַיֵּלַךְ וַיִּבֶז עֵשָׂו אֶת הַבְּכֹרָה:
“Eisav spurned the
birthright.”
The question Eisav asked was a legitimate one – as well as
complicated. After all the birthright as Eisav understood it, entailed many
responsibilities, some of which if not performed correctly could make a person
liable for punishments- even death! Instead of getting himself entangled in a
complicated question with no quick answer, he decides to divest himself from
the entire issue- he sells the birthright to Yaakov.
The Torah tells us clearly its opinion of a person who
looks for a quick escape when confronted with a theologically difficult
situation “Vayivez eisav et Habechora”- because he was unwilling to take the
time to think about and explore the issue involved it is considered that Eisav
spurned the birthright.
Eisav teaches us the wrong way to respond to difficult questions,
namely by avoiding them. His mother Rivkah teaches us the right way to deal
with such questions, in two places in this morning’s Parsha.
At the very beginning of the Parsha Rivkah is experiencing
a difficult pregnancy to which Rivkah reacts,
הּ וַתֹּאמֶר אִם כֵּן לָמָּה זֶּה אָנֹכִי
“If so, why am I thus?
Notice the usage of the same words "Lama Zeh" by both Eisav and Rivkah
Rivkah asks: What’s
the point if things are going to be so difficult? I do not see how this
situation can end up with a happy ending, or even anything positive emerging.
Instead of avoiding the question or getting rid of the problem the Torah tells
us.
“She went to inquire of
Hashem.”
In times of tragedy, silence should not be discounted. But
when the question is urgent, we must make sure that we address the question in
the proper fashion. Asking Hashem is an admission that G-d is still involved.
Asking Hashem is also an implicit recognition that we don’t have all the
answers, G-d does and He may not be divulging those answers to us.
At the end of the Parsha, as mentioned earlier, Rivkah
sends Yaakov away to save him from the murderous intentions of Eisav. Her
rationale as the Torah describes it is in the form of a question
לָמָה אֶשְׁכַּל גַּם שְׁנֵיכֶם יוֹם אֶחָד
“Why should I be bereaved of
you both in one day?”
The context of this question is one of conflicted feelings
and moral ambiguity. Rivkah loved Eisav, and yet she just helped Yaakov deceive
Yitzchak for the blessings. Rivkah’s responds to this question in a different
yet similarly positive and admirable way: with constructive action. She sends Yaakov
away thereby saving Yaakov’s life and Eisav’s soul.
Sometimes the only answer
to a question is to table the question and just do something that will
positively affect the overall situation even if it is not a direct answer to
the specific issue.
In May of 1957 fedayeen terrorists entered the village of Kfar Chabad
in Israel.
They made their way to the synagogue of the local agricultural school, where
the school's young students were in the midst of the evening maariv prayers,
and raked the room with fire from their rifles. Five children and one teacher
were killed and another ten children wounded. Despair and dejection pervaded
the village, and began to eat away at its foundations. There were some who saw
what happened as a sign that their dream of a peaceful life in Israel was
premature. The idea of disbanding the community was raised. The village was
slowly dying. The Chasidim sent a telegram to the Lubavitcher Rebbe in New York and eagerly
awaited a response.
Finally, five days later, a response came from the Rebbe.
The response via telegram had just three words: Behemshech habinyan
tinacheimu. By your continued building will you be comforted.
There is no doubt that with its indomitable spirit, Chabad
will rebuild. But the words of the Rebbe can help all of us that have questions
today or in the future. Bhemshech Habinyan Tinachamu. Through building
ourselves, we will be comforted. We must not deal with questions the way Eisav
did, by ignoring them. Sometimes silence is the only constructive response. And
if something more is needed, then we must look to constructive actions, in the
hopes that ultimately Hashem will provide comfort, if not answers.
