At
the beginning of Parshat Toldot, we read about the difficulties Rivka
experienced during her pregnancy. After wanting a child for so long, Rivkah is
confused by her experiences, and in desperation cries out, “Lama Zeh Anochi?” Why is this happening
to me? Why is it that what I anticipated to be the greatest joy of my life
(childbearing) is causing me such great pain and anxiety?
In the very same aliyah we read how
Rivka’s son Eisav similarly asks a “Lama Zeh” type of question. The Torah tells
us how Eisav came back from hunting and is “dying of hunger”. Yaakov has food
available but will only sell it to Eisav in exchange for the special blessing
that are due to Eisav for being the firstborn. Eisav realizes that these
blessing are spiritual in nature while he is a hunter, a “man of the field”, a
person most concerned with the material world. Eisav therefore asks himself,
Here I am about to die of hunger, V’Lama
Zeh Li Bechora?”, “of what use do I have for these birthright blessings?”
The real divergence emerges not in
the form of the question but what mother and son do with their questions. The
Torah tells us that in response to her question, “Rivkah went to inquire of
Hashem.” She understood that there must be a reason why this was happening and
she sought religious guidance as to ways in which she could interpret her
condition as having meaning and purpose. And upon consultation, she receives
the answer that assuages her fears and allows her to go on with her life with
strength and determination.
The Torah tells us that in response
to Eisav’s question, that “Eisav disgraced the birthright.” Instead of trying
to understand the significance of his status as a firstborn and instead of
seeking guidance as to how to proceed in a relevant and significant way, Eisav
takes the easy way out and gives up on what he does not understand (ie the
birthright) for something that he can easily understand (ie the pot of
porridge).
Judaism welcomes questions. We all
have them. Some are easier than others to answer. The issue is not having
questions. The issue is what you do once you have identified those questions.
Do we seek answers, even if they may be elusive or impossible- with the
knowledge that the very quest for answers can be therapeutic and religiously
significant? Or do we deny the question and move onto things easier to resolve-
like the hunger in our bellies.
The real Question is: what do we do with
our questions? Answering that is perhaps the most important part of solving the
problem in a constructive way.
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