A Community Built on Chessed

In 1966 an eleven-year-old African-American boy moved with his family to a hitherto white neighborhood in Washington. Sitting with his brothers and sisters on the front step of the house, he waited to see how they would be greeted. They were not. Passers-by turned to look at them but no-one gave them a smile or even a glance of recognition. All the fearful stories he had heard about how whites treated blacks seemed to be coming true. Years later, writing about those first days in their new home, he says, “I knew we were not welcome here. I knew we would not be liked here. I knew we would have no friends here. I knew we should not have moved here …”

      As he was thinking those thoughts, a woman passed by on the other side of the road. She turned to the children and with a broad smile said, “Welcome!” Disappearing into the house, she emerged minutes later with a tray laden with drinks and cream-cheese and jelly sandwiches which she brought over to the children, making them feel at home. That moment – the young man later wrote – changed his life. It gave him a sense of belonging where there was none before. It made him realize, at a time when race relations in the United States were still fraught, that a black family could feel at home in a white area and that there could be relationships that were color-blind. Over the years, he learned to admire much about the woman across the street, but it was that first spontaneous act of greeting that became, for him, a definitive memory. It broke down a wall of separation and turned strangers into friends.

      The young man, Stephen Carter, eventually became a law professor at Yale and wrote a book about what he learned that day. He called it Civility. The name of the woman, he tells us, was Sara Kestenbaum, and she died all too young. He adds that it was no coincidence that she was a religious Jew. “In the Jewish tradition,” he notes, such civility is called “chessed – the doing of acts of kindness – which is in turn derived from the understanding that human beings are made in the image of God.”

      “Civility itself,” he adds, “may be seen as part of chessed: it does indeed require kindnesses toward our fellow citizens, including the ones who are strangers, and even when it is hard.”

      “To this day”, he adds, “I can close my eyes and feel on my tongue the smooth, slick sweetness of the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches that I gobbled on that summer afternoon when I discovered how a single act of genuine and unassuming civility can change a life forever.”

      Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, z’l (whose first yahrtzeit is Monday night) quotes Stephen Carter in his teachings on chessed. As Rabbi Sacks wrote, “Chessed in its many forms became synonymous with Jewish life and one of the pillars on which it stood. Jews performed kindnesses to one another because it was ‘the way of God’ and also because they or their families had had intimate experience of suffering and knew they had nowhere else to turn. It provided an access of grace in dark times. It softened the blow of the loss of the Temple and its rites. Through chessed, Jews humanized fate as, they believed, God’s chessed humanizes the world.”

      This week our community has responded to the tragic murder of Officer Yandy Chirino with an outpouring of chessed that has created a tremendous Kiddush Hashem. A community built on chessed is one that has the strength to continue to thrive and grow, regardless of the challenges that come our way.

Stomachs and Souls

“And Malchizedek the king of Salem brought out bread and wine, and he was a priest to the Most High God. And he blessed him, and he said, Blessed be Abram to the Most High God, Who possesses heaven and earth.” (14:18)

   Malchizedek was both a king and a priest. Why is he described first as a king? Along the same lines, why does Malchizedek first function as a king by providing food and drink? Why don’t we say that more important than the physical nourishment that he can provide is the spiritual nourishment in the form of a blessing. After all, the Torah tells us, “man cannot live on bread alone.”

   Perhaps the answer can be found in a famous quote attributed to Rabbi Yisrael Salanter: “A pious Jew is not one who worried about his fellow man’s soul and his own stomach; a pious Jew worries about his own soul and his fellow man’s stomach.” This sentiment has been expressed in a shorter form as: Your gashmiyus (ie your physical wellbeing) is my ruchniyus (ie helps me realize my spiritual potential).

   The Lubavitcher Rebbe would stand for hours on Sundays to meet with people. Thousands would line up to have their moment with the Rebbe. In addition to giving a blessing, the Rebbe would hand out dollar bills. As thousands of people might wait to see the Rebbe on any given Sunday, there was a significant expense associated with this practice. According to author Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, one of the Rebbe’s assistants suggested that Chabad install large tzedaka boxes at the exit door of the greeting room in order to recoup some of the dollars back to Chabad (or their replacements, as many people kept the dollar that the Rebbe gave them). The Rebbe vetoed the idea as he did not want people to feel coerced into giving their charity to Chabad. Many other Chasidic Rebbes meet with people and give them blessings or answer their questions. Often times those who meet with Chasidic Rebbes feel inspired or inclined to make a donation to a charity of that Rebbe’s choosing. The idea that the Lubavitcher Rebbe would give dollars, instead of receiving dollars, in addition to blessings, was very unique. Rabbi Schneerson once explained that he handed out dollar bills along with blessings, because the outcome of two people meeting should always be that a third person benefits in some way.

   Machizedek also models the lesson that we should utilize all of our God-given talents to benefit others. He was a king, so he could provide Avraham and his entourage with physical nourishment. He was also a priest so he was equipped to bless Avraham as well. Malchizedek could have said, “I’ll give you food- find your spiritual sustenance elsewhere.” Or he could’ve said, “I can give you a blessing, but that’s all I can provide.” Instead he offered all that he could, based on the two roles he played.

   Let us learn these lessons from Malchizedek. We must maximize the benefit our abilities can provide to others. And we must never forget that providing material needs to others is a great way to provide ourselves the spiritual nourishment that we need for our own wellbeing.

 

The Challenge of an Upward Trajectory of Religious Growth

 In Bereishit Rabba (36:3) Rav Berachya suggests that the Torah prefers Moshe over Noach. His proof is that when we are first introduced to Noach we are told that he was “a righteous man” but at the end of the story Noach is described as “a man of the earth”.  Moshe, on the other hand, is first described as “an Egyptian man” but at the end of his life Moshe is described as “man of God”.  How do we understand the vastly different trajectories of these two important Biblical characters?

     The Meshech Chochma suggests that the difference can be explained based on the different focus of each man. Noach’s focus was entirely internal. He saved his immediate family and he personally may have started as a tsaddik, but he had no impact on others. Moshe, on the other hand, started his life not even knowing that he was Jewish. However during the last 40 years of his life he dedicated himself completely to the physical and spiritual well-being of the Jewish People. The Meshech Chochma’s lesson is that the best way to guarantee our own spiritual growth is by caring for others and sharing with others.  

     Rav Aharon Lichtenstein zt’l taught that the downward trajectory of Noach’s spiritual status is due to the lack of any opposition post-flood. In the years leading up to the flood, Noach had a clear goal: to avoid falling into the depravity and sinfulness of the rest of society. He had something to fight against and he did so with great courage and conviction. However, after the flood, there was nothing to fight against. All of the sinners had perished. Now Noach had to stop fighting against something and figure out what he wanted to fight for. Instead of playing defense Noach needed to set an affirmative, proactive agenda of meaning and purpose. This can be much more difficult, and Noach couldn’t find his way in a world without a clear villain.

     As we emerge (with God’s help) from the pandemic, both of these lessons are important to consider. First, during CoVID for many of us our major goal seemed like self-preservation. It’s very difficult to focus on others when we feel our very lives and those of our family are in peril. As we emerge from this modern day Mabul, and the health threat has dramatically decreased for those who are vaccinated, we must remind ourselves of the importance of caring for and thinking of others. This is important not only for the sake of the other and for the sake of society, but as we see from our Parsha, caring for others is important for our own self-actualization. Moshe’s model teaches us that we grow as people and become more Godly the more we think about others and extend ourselves.

     Second, for 18 months we have been fighting against the realities that were created due to the pandemic. We fought to survive. We fought to maintain a sense of normalcy. We fought to keep our sanity. We fought for CoVID protocols. We fought against CoVID protocols. Whatever the case may have been, we were not setting the agenda. We were forced to play the hand that God dealt us. We were reacting and responding to situations that felt out of our control. In many ways that phase of the pandemic is ending/ has ended. We now have a chance to set our own agenda. To act in an affirmative and proactive way. To initiate, not just respond. While it sounds marvelous and exciting and hopeful, it can also be overwhelming and paralyzing and difficult.

     Let us learn from Moshe’s trajectory and be ready to set our own agenda. Let us make sure to include others, and causes bigger than ourselves, in that agenda. By doing so we can look forward to an upward trajectory of religious growth.

The Power of Names

 

“And the Lord God formed from the earth every beast of the field and every fowl of the heavens, and He brought [it] to man to see what he would call it, and whatever the man called each living thing, that was its name.” (Bereishit 2:19.) The Midrash says that the angels complained against man. To prove man's worthiness, God brought all the animals before the angels and asked them what they each should be called. The angels could not name the animals. Then He brought them to Adam who was able to name each animal.

          The simple understanding is that Adam correctly understood each animal's unique characteristics and its purpose in this world and gave them a name that described their essence. Rav Yeruchom Levovitz suggests that what transpired was actually much deeper. Adam did not just describe the animals by naming them. The names he chose were prescriptive, not just descriptive.  Reb Yeruchom explains that by naming the animals Adam declared what the animal would be. Because Adam called it a certain name that became its destiny and its future. Adam’s ability to name the animals was proof of man's greatness, his partnership with God in Creation, and mastery over the rest of creation.

          This lesson for us is that we are not just passive players who must learn to deal with the world as it is. It is within our power to determine the nature of the world and to change it, both for good or for evil.

          The Midrash continues that Hashem asked Adam what Hashem's name should be and Adam said “Ado-nai”, for Hashem is our master and the master of the universe. It is man that determines even Hashem's role in this world. Hashem acts with us in accordance with the way we relate to Him, with the name we give Him. If we relate to Hashem as our Omnipotent merciful Father, that is how He will treat us. If we don't relate to Hashem as the all-powerful ruler of every facet of our lives but choose to relate more to the laws of nature and our own abilities, then Hashem will leave us to the whims of nature and to our own devices, which won't get us very far. Man truly rules the world.

          When it came to his own name, man called himself Adam as in Adama, the lowly earth.  This demonstrated Adam's great modesty.  He wanted to remind himself that although he is partners with the Divine and can rule the world, he is of lowly makeup and should always remain humble.

          However, Rav Yehonoson Eibushitz says that the name Adam is in fact a very exalted name.  Adam is derived from the words, “Adameh L'Elyon”, “I am similar to the High One.”  A person is created B'Tzelem Elokim and is compared to God Himself.  Rav Eibushitz notes that even the comparison to Adama, the earth, is also very exalted.  Just like the earth never disintegrates and remains forever, similarly a person's neshama is eternal. His good deeds are also eternal.

 

Celebrating Our Efforts

 

The Torah explains that we celebrate Sukkot due to the fact that Hashem enabled the Jewish People to dwell in sukkot while in the wilderness after leaving Egypt. As it says in Vayikra 23:43:

“In order that future generations may know that I made the Israelite people live in booths when I brought them out of the land of Egypt, I am the LORD your God.”

      The Talmud in Sukkah records a dispute about the makeup of this sukkot (Sukkah 11):

“These booths were clouds of glory, this is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rabbi Akiva says: They established for themselves actual sukkot.”

      According to Rabbi Eliezer we understand why we established a joyous holiday commemorating those original sukkot. Those sukkot were comprised of miraculous Clouds of Glory. They were a clear indication- to the Jewish People and the entire world- of God’s care and protection of Bnai Yisrael. Recalling this miraculous event allows us to remember that even during less miraculous times, God is with us and He protects the Jewish People. This is clearly a good reason to celebrate and to establish an annual holiday. But what about according to Rabbi Akiva? He holds that the sukkot in the wilderness were built by human hands. In this account, it seems that the booths were an act of necessity, not a miraculous event. Why should the construction of booths by human hands be a source of celebration and be worthy of an annual holiday?

      Even according to Rabbi Akiva, the holiday of Sukkot commemorates Hashem’s protection and care for the Jewish People during their years in the wilderness. However Rabbi Akiva wants us to focus not just on what God did/ does for us, but also on what we did/ do for ourselves- with God’s help.

      In terms of the progression of Tishrei holidays, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur focus primarily on the mind, the heart and the mouth. We reflect upon the past year, we resolve in our minds and hearts to grow from our past missteps. We use our mouths to pray, to confess, and to seek forgiveness. Sukkot is a holiday of action. We build a sukkah. We wave the lulav and etrog. We circuit around the shul during Hoshanot throughout Sukkot and during Hakafot on Simchat Torah. We sukkah hop. Sukkot marks the moment when we begin to put our plans, our hopes and our resolutions into action. The formal mitzvot of the holiday are meant to jumpstart that “can do” attitude. As Newton taught us, a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Once we are engaged and active in the mitzvot of Sukkot we are meant to continue to be active and engaged in other areas of meaningful spiritual growth after the holidays.

      The pasuk states (Vayikra 23:43) that we sit in sukkot “in order that your [ensuing] generations should know that I had the children of Israel live in booths when I took them out of the land of Egypt.” The Tur writes that the mitzvah of sukkah is unique in that we need to think about the reason for the mitzvah while we are sitting in the sukkah. By (most) other mitzvot, the act itself suffices, and one’s intention during the action, while nice, is not necessary. However by sukkah we need to have special intention while sitting in the sukkah. Which begs the question: are we supposed to think about the Clouds of Glory (like Rabbi Eliezer) or about the actual booths (like Rabbi Akiva)? The Tur suggests that we have both opinions in mind (I quickly think about this while reciting the bracha of “leishev basukkah”). The Tur’s recommendation is a good one for life in general. We celebrate God’s protection and Presence in our lives, while at the same time demonstrating with our actions that we are active partners with God in our own lives and in the ultimate redemption of the Jewish People.

Doing The Wave of Sukkot

On Sukkot we do the wave, called Na’anuim, with our four species. Immediately upon making the bracha we wave the Daled Minim three times in each of 6 directions. And we did the wave in shul during Hallel, when reciting the verses: Hodu LaHashem and Ana Hashem. What is the significance of our Lulav Wave?

 The great medieval Talmudic commentator Rabbi Menachem Meiri explained that shaking the lulav is a necessary component of the mitzvah- but not the mitzvah of taking the four species, but rather the mitzvah of simcha, joy. Simcha is a mitzvah that exists on every holiday, but is especially pronounced on Sukkot. It comes as a culmination of the High Holidays, it is Chag Ha’Aseif, the time when the farmer feels most successful and secure as he brings his harvest into storage. That is why the Torah mentions simcha not once, but twice as it relates to Sukkot.  One of the times the Torah mentions joy by Sukkot is specifically in regards to taking the Daled Minim (23:40).

 Na’anuim are an expression of joy, in at least three different ways:

 Joy in seeing the Divine in everything Talmud Sukkah 37b: Hashem is in every direction. Fully internalizing this truth leaves us feeling uplifted and never alone- for no matter where we are, God is there with us. The Medrash explains that it is customary for one that is found innocent in a court case to wave something to indicate that victory- and so we wave our lulavim after Yom Kippur indicating our confidence in the outcome of our Yom Hadin, Yom Kippur. Utilizing the Talmudic teaching we can add that we wave our lulavim today as an expression of joy and excitement at the fact that no matter what happens in this new year, we are sure that Hashem will be with us.

 Joy in appreciating the role and relevance of Torah in every facet of our lives. Rokeiach teaches that the word Lulav hints at the entire Torah. Letters in reverse order:

Bet: first letter of Torah

Lamed: last letter of Torah

Vav: first letter of Nach

Lamed: Last letter of Nach

We take the lulav and its symbolism and wave it in every direction, thereby indicating that there is no aspect of our lives that is not influenced by, affected by, or addressed by the Torah.

 Joy of appreciating our gifts in life

Lulav is an indication of the bounty of the recent harvest season- it’s an expression of thanks, but it also serves as a prayer: that the winds and rain should be for blessing for the next crop season. It is no accident that Na’anuim are performed for the verse Hodu Lashem Ki Tov, Ki L’Olam Chasdo.

But we also wave the lulav for the prayer of King David Ana Hashem Hoshiah Na. The ultimate expression of thanks and the ultimate expression of prayerful request. For Na’anuim remind us that our greatest gifts require thanksgiving as well as prayer- that the gift should develop and that the gift should continue.

 Just as people get excited to do the wave at sporting events, so too should we be excited to do the wave with our lulav on Sukkot.  May our appreciation of the significance of Na’anuim create added joy to our Sukkot holiday- and in our lives going forward.

A Need for Honesty

      In Pirkei Avot we learn:  “Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: The world stands on three principles: Judgement, Truth and Peace.” In his classic Chasidic work, Shem Mishmuel, Rabbi Shmuel Borenstein, the Rebbe of Sochatchov explains that each of these principles correspond to one of the major Tishrei holidays: Rosh Hashanah is the Day of Judgement, as we refer to it as Yom Hadin. Sukkot corresponds to Shalom (as we refer to a Sukkat Shalom in many of our prayers). And Yom Kippur is the holiday of Emet, honesty.  As Rabbi Borenstein explains it, Emet is something essential, substantial and everlasting. Yom Kippur is that opportunity to utilize the principle of Emet in order to tap into our essential beings. The role of Emet is crucial on Yom Kippur, yet being honest is easier said than done.

      In his book, The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: Why We Lie to Everyone – Especially Ourselves, Prof. Dan Ariely argues that people are far less honest than they’d like to believe. He sums up the book’s hypothesis with what he calls the fudge factor theory: Our behavior is driven by two opposing motivations. On one hand, we want to view ourselves as honest and honorable people. On the other hand, we want to benefit from cheating and dishonesty as much as possible. The way we navigate these two contradictory drives is by lying and cheating- but only a little bit. We lie enough to benefit ourselves but not so much that it negatively impacts our self-image.

      On Yom Kippur the stakes are high and the need for honesty is great. How do we ensure that we are up for the challenge and ready to take that first step: being honest?

      Three keys emerge from the pasuk that is found in the Torah reading, and serves as a mantra throughout our Yom Kippur tefillot (Vayikra 16:30): כִּֽי־בַיּ֥וֹם הַזֶּ֛ה יְכַפֵּ֥ר עֲלֵיכֶ֖ם לְטַהֵ֣ר אֶתְכֶ֑ם מִכֹּל֙ חַטֹּ֣אתֵיכֶ֔ם לִפְנֵ֥י ה תִּטְהָֽרוּ:

      L’taher etchem- Yom Kippur is the opportunity to rejuvenate ourselves spiritually. Such rejuvenation is necessary, for we are more likely to be dishonest when we feel depleted. If we feel that being Jewish is a constant struggle, if Judaism causes us to experience ego depletion, then we are more likely to cut ourselves some slack and be less honest with ourselves. Yom Kippur is a mikvah in time, our opportunity to rejuvenate ourselves. It is through this rejuvenation that our egos can be restored and we can be more honest with ourselves.

      Mikol Chatoteichem- We can only be forgiven for sins if we are willing to admit that we’ve made mistakes. And we all make mistakes: directed against our fellow human beings; our friends, our neighbors our spouse and children- and against God. Many times it was by accident. Sometimes, if we are really honest with ourselves as demanded from us on Yom Kippur, we will have to admit that some of our sins are not really accidental. We know better, or we should have known better or we should have done a better job anticipating the situation. In all these scenarios, we must be willing to be honest and admit our mistakes.

      Lifnei Hashem. Yom Kippur affords us the opportunity to be “before God”. This is not only a gift, but it is also an effective strategy for staying honest. A study showed that people asked to recall the Ten Commandments were less likely to cheat. In another experiment, people cheated less when they were asked to swear on the Bible, even when those people were self-declared atheists. Appreciating our special opportunity of being Lifnei Hashem on Yom Kippur is the third key to being honest today.

      These three keys to being honest on Yom Kippur can and should be used all year long. We must avoid ego depletion, but when it happens we must seek ways to rejuvenate ourselves. We must avoid making excuses. And we must strive to develop a sense of Shiviti Hashem l’negdi Tamid, constantly being in the presence of the Almighty. Approaching God today with sincerity and honesty is an important step in making the most- and getting the most- out of Yom Kippur.