Self-Fulfillment- Through Connecting with Others

In between when Yaakov takes leave of Eisav and the story of Dina’s abduction, the Torah tells us that Yaakov arrived in Shechem: וַיָּבֹא֩ יַעֲקֹ֨ב שָׁלֵ֜ם עִ֣יר שְׁכֶ֗ם אֲשֶׁר֙ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנַ֔עַן בְּבֹא֖וֹ מִפַּדַּ֣ן אֲרָ֑ם וַיִּ֖חַן אֶת־פְּנֵ֥י הָעִֽיר׃

“Jacob arrived safe in the city of Shechem which is in the land of Canaan—having come thus from Paddan-aram—and he encamped before the city.” While the literal translation of “Vayichan” is “and he camped”, the Talmud homiletically interprets it to mean “and he graced” from the Hebrew word “Chein”. The Talmud (Shabbat 33b) explains:

“And Jacob came whole to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Paddan-aram; and he graced the countenance of the city” (Genesis 33:18). Rav said, the meaning of: And Jacob came whole, is: Whole in his body, whole in his money, whole in his Torah. And what did he do? And he graced the countenance of the city; he performed gracious acts to benefit the city. Rav said: Jacob established a currency for them. And Shmuel said: He established marketplaces for them. And Rabbi Yoḥanan said: He established bathhouses for them.

The Talmud suggests that upon arriving in Shechem Yaakov wanted to contribute to his new surroundings in a positive way. The Rabbis argue over what exactly was that contribution. Rav Kook explained that all three suggestions are ways to help your surroundings and to build community. Bathhouses and marketplaces are public arenas that promote the public good. Coins are necessary to develop a sophisticated economy that is based on more than just bartering. Without coins you are limited in your business dealings to those people whom you know and who possess items that you want or need. The introduction of coins allows you to engage in business beyond your friends and family. Anyone with coins becomes a customer.

Yaakov here is teaching us the importance of building community and of connecting with larger groups. It is no coincidence that the Talmud’s emphasis on connecting and helping others only comes after the Talmudic teaching that Yaakov arrived in Shechem feeling whole and in a good place. Only when we personally feel strong and confident can we extend ourselves to the fullest in order to help others and connect with others.

This year our shul has adopted the theme of “unity and connection”. We are constantly seeking out ways to follow in Yaakov’s footsteps by encouraging each other to contribute to the greater good by expanding our networks and connecting with others in our community that may not currently be in our sphere of acquaintances. After the positive feedback we received after the Kol Nidrei Appeal Appreciation Kiddush, we have decided to host another CommUNITY combined Kiddush in honor of Shabbat Mevorchim. It will take place next Shabbat, December 17^th in the tent after the 9 AM and 9:15 AM minyanim. We hope that it creates another opportunity and another reminder of the importance and value of unity and connections within our shul community. (To become a CommUNITY Kiddush sponsor go to: https://www.yih.org/shabbatmevorchimkiddush . I hope to see you there!

The Power of Grandparents

 

My Oma and Opa lived in Dallas. After my Oma passed away, I went to visit my Opa. On that trip my grandfather made me flat bread pizza for lunch one day. He put crush red pepper on the pizza. I had never had crushed red pepper on my pizza before, and I loved it. My Opa served as a cook in the US Army during World War II, so I was not surprised that he had a knack for seasonings. I don’t always put red pepper flakes on my pizza (and I don’t eat pizza as often as I once did), but whenever I do I think of my Opa. I remember another incident when my grandparents were with us for Yom Tov. I was walking home from shul with my Opa and he was talking to me about saffron, the spice. He mentioned to me how saffron and ginger are spices mentioned in the Gemara. That conversation was well over 30 years ago, and yet I clearly remember that interaction with my grandfather. 

There’s a saying that grandparents and grandchildren get along so well because they have a common enemy: the parents. While that may be a joke, the bond between grandparents and grandchildren is unique, as is the impact that grandparents can have on their grandchildren. In Parshat Vayeitzei, the story shifts focus onto Yaakov. While we generally refer to Jacob as Yaakov Avinu (our father Jacob, ie one of the patriarchs), our tradition also refers to Jacob as Yisrael Saba, (Grandfather Israel). There are two instances in this week’s Parsha that our Rabbis relate to the influence that grandparents can have on grandchildren.

In Vateitzei we read how Yaakov flees his parents’ home to escape Eisav’s rage and to find a wife in Padam Aram. Yaakov meets Rachel and realizes that she is “the one”. At that meeting Yaakov cries (Bereishit 29:11). Rashi quotes a Midrash that explains the backstory. When Yaakov ran away, Eisav sent his son Elifaz to kill Yaakov. Elifaz caught up with Yaakov and was about to kill him, when Yaakov convinced Elifaz that he could rob his uncle instead, because a person without any money is considered to be dead. Rashi notes that Elifaz was reluctant to kill Yaakov, even though he was commanded to do so by his father, because Elifaz grew up in Yitzchak’s home. Elifaz was positively influenced by his grandfather to the extent that he was willing to disobey his father’s immoral demand and save his uncle’s life.

At the end of Vayeitzei we read about the descendants of Eisav. One of Eisav’s grandchildren was Amalek. Amalek’s father was Elifaz. The Midrash explains that Elifaz encouraged his son Amalek to support and befriend the descendants of Yaakov, because Yaakov’s family is blessed. Amalek did not listen to his father. Instead, he harbored a deep hatred for Bnei Yisrael, and Amalek is the symbol of those who hate Jews throughout the ages. Why didn’t Amalek listen to his father? The Midrash explains that Amalek was more influenced by his grandfather Eisav, who held on to a deep hatred for Yaakov and his descendants. Just as Elifaz was most influenced by his grandfather Yitzchak and therefore saved Yaakov, so too Amalek was most influenced by his grandfather Eisav to antagonize Yaakov. Once again we see the power of grandparents to influce their grandchildren and, sometimes, the course of Jewish history.

 

The “BaKol” Mindset

 

What exactly does it mean to be “blessed with it all”? This is the question that needs answering when we read about the end of Avraham’s life in Parshat Chayei Sara (24:1):

וְאַבְרָהָ֣ם זָקֵ֔ן בָּ֖א בַּיָּמִ֑ים וַֽה בֵּרַ֥ךְ אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֖ם בַּכֹּֽל:

And Abraham was old, advanced in days, and the Lord had blessed Abraham BaKol (with everything).

Rashi quotes that the Gematriya of the Hebrew word “BaKol” is the same as the word “Ben”, son. As the chapter goes on to describe the search for a wife for Yitzchak, it prefaces that story that reminding the reader that Yitzchak was a blessing for Avraham (and Sara), the fulfillment of the Divine promise of progeny. An alternate explanation suggests that Avraham was also blessed with a daughter whose name was “Bakol”. Rabbi Marc Angel suggests that the reference here to “Bakol” is meant toi remind us of the many places where Hashem promised, blessed and reassured Avraham that He would make Avraham the patriarch of God’s chosen nation. Some examples of verses where the word “kol” is used are:  “And through you, all (kol) the families of the earth will be blessed” (12:3). “For all (kol) the land which you see, to you will I give it, and to your seed forever” (13:15). “This is My covenant which you shall keep, between Me and you and your seed after you: every (kol) male among you shall be circumcised” (17:10). Rabbi Angel suggests that at the end of his life Avraham, like many people, questioned his accomplishments and wondered about his impact on the world and his ultimate legacy. The blessing of “BaKol” is Hashem’s reassurance that the Divine promises will be fulfilled, and Avraham will leave an everlasting legacy.

I’d like to offer another explanation. Instead of translating the word “BaKol” as “WITH everything” we can understand the word “BaKol” as meaning “THROUGHOUT everything”. Avraham had some challenges during the course of his life. Midrash identifies ten major tests that Avraham endured. This does not include all of the normal tests, challenges and setbacks that anyone who is human will experience over the course of a lifetime. We would not have blamed Avraham if he felt resentful, worn out, perhaps even a little pessimistic after all that he went through. Instead, he realized that he had lived a blessed life. Avraham realized that Hashem had blessed him at all moments of his life. Both the triumphs and the chllenges were blessings. Some blessings are more obvious, and some blessings are in disguise. We too can strive to emulate our forefather Avraham with a “BaKol” mindset. As the Talmud teaches (Brachot 60b) לעולם יהא אדם רגיל לומר כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד: “One must always accustom oneself to say: Everything that God does, He does for the best.”

 

Feeling Lucky

 Though they are both available in Florida, I assume that most people who bought a lottery ticket this week played Powerball, and not Mega Millions. That’s because the Mega Millions jackpot was “only” $120 million, while Powerball jackpot was estimated to be more than $1.2 billion. The odds of winning Powerball: 1 in 292 million. Realists hear the odds and say “there’s no way I am going to win”. Hopeless optimists hear the odds and say “that means I have a shot!” Lottery commissions rely on human psychology and spirit of optimism to fuel sales. Skeptics mock it as a “spirit of delusion”. And yet when jackpots grow absurdly large, even skeptics will play for a chance to win a billion bucks.

What are the odds of winning BOTH? (A man is allowed to dream, can’t he?)

The odds of winning both Powerball and Mega Millions is 1 in 88 QUADRILLION: that’s a 1 followed by fifteen zeros. It’s the number that comes after trillions. Winning “just” the Powerball jackpot of over a billion dollars would certainly change a person’s life. The question, though, is: would that change necessarily be for the better?

TIME magazine published an article (http://time.com/4176128/powerball-jackpot-lottery-winners/) about the terrible things that happen to lottery winners. The article quoted a study that found that 70% of people who come into large sums of money lose it only a few years later. The author goes on to cite several examples of worst-case scenarios involving big ticket winners, including bankruptcy and even murder.

Monetary wealth comes at a price. Literally. Of course your chances of surviving the pitfalls of being rich are probably greater if the wealth is accumulated over time rather than all at once. However, in either case money (in all amounts) carries the burden of responsibility to use it wisely.

Perkei Avot teaches, “More money, more problems.” The rabbis were trying to remind us that with the good comes the bad. As some Powerball winners discover, more money seems like a blessing until it creates more problems than you started with. This week’s Torah portion, Lech Lecha, also has an interesting take on that very idea.

Parshat Lech Lecha brings us finally into the narrative of Abraham and Sarah and the true beginning of our history as the Jewish people. The text begins with Avram and Sarai leaving their land, the land that they knew and felt comfortable in, to follow God’s command and go to Egypt. The text continues with their ongoing problems in Egypt and ends with the changing of their names from Avram/Abram to Avraham/Abraham and Sarai to Sarah.

Early in the Parshat Lech Lecha we learn that Abraham went from Egypt back to the Negev with all that he had, together with his nephew Lot. In describing his wealth the Torah states (13:2) וְאַבְרָ֖ם כָּבֵ֣ד מְאֹ֑ד בַּמִּקְנֶ֕ה בַּכֶּ֖סֶף וּבַזָּהָֽב, “And Abram was very heavy with cattle, with silver, and with gold.”

Here the word kaved is used, which translates to mean heavy or burdened. In fact, Rashi comments on the choice of the word kaved and states “very heavy: laden with burdens.” Avraham teaches us that wealth can be burden, and it is also relative and subjective. Avraham was rich with material items, but as we learn later, felt “poor” before he and Sarah were finally able to have children. For a righteous person like Avraham, great wealth is accompanied by a great responsibility to maintain proper perspective and to use one’s resources responsibly. As descendants of Avraham this remains our challenge as well.

What Do You Do with Your Free Time?

 

We are first introduced to Noach at the end of Parshat Bereishit: “And he named him Noah, saying, "This one will give us rest from our work and from the toil of our hands from the ground, which the Lord has cursed." According to this verse, the name Noach is related to the word “Menucha” which means rest. Right before Noach’s birth there were a number of inventions and technological advancements in the field of agriculture that made farming an easier endeavor. Noach was named as a prayer that these developments would usher in a Golden Era. Rav Avraham Pam explained that this phenomenon directly impacted the moral standards during Noach’s time. The onset of technological advancement meant the sudden emergence of free time. As animals, plowshares, sickles and other agricultural tools substituted time-consuming, backbreaking labor, people came upon spare time. This spare time presented the opportunity for spiritual growth and personal development. Sadly, however, the spare time was misused. People instead used the opportunity to fight, indulge, accumulate luxuries, compete with one another, and pursue pleasure and physical gratification at the expense of others. Only Noach took proper advantage of the extra time provided by the eased working conditions. He pursued spirituality over materialism, piety over indulgence.

This may also explain why specifically Noach was chosen to bear the name alluding to the lighter workload. Many children were presumably born around the same time; why was it Noach who was named after the new conditions that developed during that period? Perhaps the Torah seeks to teach us that only Noach represented the proper outlook on free time. If we want to learn how the Torah views comfort and spare time, we should look to Noach, not his contemporaries. If technology and progress has resulted in shorter, fewer and easier workdays, granting us the great gift of free time and spare physical energy, then we must turn to Noach to learn how to use it - for spiritual growth. Otherwise, we run the risk of producing another Dor Hamabul, when extra time results in crime, excessive indulgence and sin.

We are blessed to benefit from tremendous technological advancements that have gifted us with more free time. The question is: What do we do with our free time?

Simchat Torah Stories

 

Since I don’t speak on Simchat Torah I never have the chance to share with you Simchat Torah stories that I come across. This year I’d like to share a few of my favorites. The first two have the same theme:

 

Story One: A stranger once joined the Satmar Shul on Simchat Torah for the celebration. The person danced with such devotion and fervor that the people around him were sure he was a great Tzadik. The Satmar Rebbe, zt”l, however, was unimpressed. “Did you notice that he stepped on other people’s toes while he was dancing? A truly righteous person would be careful not to hurt others with his own religious devotion!”

 

Story Two: The Chofetz Chaim was once asked, “What is the secret of the Hakafot?”

He answered, “When you are covered, with your tallis over your head, and completely one with the Torah that you are  dancing with so dearly, make sure you are extremely careful not to step on your friends foot, because if you aren’t looking then you will never know to whom you have to say sorry! And that is the secret of the Hakafot.”

 

Both the Chofetz Chaim and the Satmar Rebbe agree: Our personal spirituality can never come at the expense of disregarding our fellow Jew.

 

Story Three: The Chiddushei HaRim was watching two different students dancing on Simchat Torah and predicted one student to tire before the other, and it happened just as he predicted. When asked how he could know that, he explained that one bachur was dancing for the Torah he learned this past year and the second was dancing for the future Torah learning he would be doing after being inspired from Simchat Torah. By definition, there is a limit to the past Torah one has learnt, even if it is a large amount, but there is no limit to what one can learn in the future.

 

The best way to take the energy and inspiration of Simchat Torah in particular, and Tishrei in general, with us into the New Year is by committing to make Torah study a regular part of our lives. Along with exercise, time with family and friends and volunteering on behalf of charitable causes, Torah study nourishes our soul and helps us maintain healthy and meaningful lives. Stay tuned for new Torah study opportunities offered through the shul and with the YIH Rabbis and Educators and take advantage of those opportunities.

We Love a Happy Ending

 

The Ramban offers two explanations as to why Haazinu is called a song, “shira”.

One  reason offered is technical. Anyone who got an aliyah today, or was able to see inside the Torah scroll during hagbah can tell you that Parshat Haazinu is written differently than the rest of the Torah. As the Talmud in Megillah 16 puts it, it is written in broken lines (ie two columns) with alternating segments of text and blank spaces.  The second explanation that the Ramban offers is:

“Because Israel will recite it constantly with song and with melody.”

Historically the Ramban’s statement is accurate. Parshat Haazinu was sung in many different contexts by the Jewish people. The Talmud in Rosh hashana teaches that during the times of the Beit hamikdash, the levvim would sing the song of Parshat Haazinu during the bringing of the Mussaf sacrifice. It is interesting to note that in the context of that Gemara, it tells us how the Parsha should be divided into aliyot- it is the only Parsha that the Talmud provides us with this information. The Rambam in Hilchot Tefilah (7:13) quotes a practice to recite the Song of Parshat Haazinu every day right before Yishatabach. The Maharal goes so far as to recommend memorizing Shirat Haazinu and reciting it by heart as a segula, a good omen, for success in business.

But from these three instances, we see that the Shira encapsulated in Parshat Haazinu is something special. The Midrash Sifrei writes that Shirat Haazinu is great, for it includes the present, the past and the future; This World and The World To Come.” This morning’s parsha makes mention of the history of the world and of the Jewish people. It discusses the laws of spiritual cause and effect. That means that difficulties are the result of sin and blessing is the result of doing right in the eyes of G-d; a focus of the past forty days as we prepared for the High Holidays.

The Ramban writes elsewhere that what really makes Shirat Haazinu unique is that it has a happy ending. At the end of the mistakes and difficulties, the Jewish people are redeemed by Hashem. It is this happy ending, this message of hope that makes Shirat Haazinu something special, and something that was found on the lips of Jews more so than other portions of the Torah. Even though the Jewish People have suffered the most and the longest of any nation in existence, we still hold on to hope and optimism. No matter how difficult the Jewish story gets, we still love, and look forward to, a happy ending.